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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have told DH that he embarrasses me?

169 replies

Mooni · 28/03/2021 12:55

I have windows open all the time as I need fresh air. We live in a very quiet area, detached house on shared private drive attached to a quiet street so we don’t even get traffic noise. We have a walking path down the side of our house popular with dog walkers etc
DH can’t seem to keep from shouting constantly. You can hear everything from outside and I’m so embarrassed by it.
Examples from this weekend alone:
From bedroom to downstairs “Moonie, Chuck us a bog roll up!” (Bedroom windows wide open)
Kitchen to living room “Racist!” (Kitchen window wide open)
Living room to kitchen “this house smells like a cross between wet dog and BO!” (Patio doors wide open)
Downstairs toilet to kitchen “Moonie have you had diarrhoea?! It stinks in here!” (Window wide open, neighbours behind us sat in garden).

I have asked him to stop shouting all the time and he has said I’m being unreasonable to be embarrassed by him and acting like a snob pretending to be something I’m not. I’m not normally bothered by what people think of me but I think this makes us look rough as hell! No kids at home now, just me and DH
Am I over thinking it?

OP posts:
ShutUpAlex · 28/03/2021 15:05

Awww he can come and live with us we’re always shouting at eachother Grin

FrankskinnerscRoc · 28/03/2021 15:10

Yorkshire? I expected you to live closer to the equator. He's probably doing it to get you to shut the bloody windows! Get a health check, this can't be right.

Bluntness100 · 28/03/2021 15:19

Maybe he’s trying to shame you into shutting the windows.

I honestly cannot understand how anyone would live like this. I get airing your house out, but to have all your windows upstairs and down open constantly and to watch your spouse freezing and wearing thick jumpers and being deeply uncomfortable is beyond bizarre. Why he puts up with it I don’t know. I’d honestly have shut the windows after kicking you out of one of them. Your home must be freezing and deeply uncomfortable.

And you’re on here complaining he embarrasses you? Like that’s the problem?

Nanny0gg · 28/03/2021 15:23

@MaizeBlouse

Sounds like I'm in the minority here but I don't thi j I'd care at all. I'm not sensitive to "gross" talk though. Shit stinks and everyone does it!
Indeed.

But the world doesn't need to know about it

MrMucker · 28/03/2021 15:23

Great thread.
OP-do you think people who pass by will judge this?
Responses-stuff that question, just gonna judge how you both live myself

NotAPanda · 28/03/2021 15:24

YABVU. Do you expect him to call you on the phone every time he needs to talk to you? Your problem isn’t the shouting but the windows. Why are you freezing your husband ... if I were him and my OH insisted on such idiocy I’d do everything I can just to rile him up.
Also if your husbands comments annoyed you you shouldn’t have married him presumably he’s always been like that

NotAPanda · 28/03/2021 15:26

Also we can’t tell if people will judge because we don’t know how much they can hear!
It’s very rare for every word of a conversation to be heard even from open windows.
Why don’t you try standing outside while he yells and see whether people can ACTUALLY hear?

eatsleepread · 28/03/2021 15:26

This made me laugh, and I like the sound of him. Shame he's married to Hyacinth Bouquet Wink

NotAPanda · 28/03/2021 15:27

Types too soon meant to say whether they CBA hear every word or just the sound
Tbh passing people don’t even know you so why would they care

5128gap · 28/03/2021 15:34

If I was walking past and heard him it would make laugh.
But I do have a fondness for people who have no filter for the niceties of life (provided no one is hurt or insulted of course) I find it very authentic and refreshing in a world when most people are way too preoccupied about the image they present.

InFiveMins · 28/03/2021 15:36

He sounds like an immature pain in the ass.

He probably thinks he's being amusing, tell him that he isn't and to pack it in.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 28/03/2021 15:39

But the world doesn't need to know about it

They shouldn't. He is in his own home.

There is surely some kind of compromise to be found when it comes to the windows. We are partial to a good fart jokes and comments here, but don't say that in the garden obviously. But in our own home we should be able to say things like that.

BigFatLiar · 28/03/2021 15:42

At least if you need to live with the windows open all the time you can't have much of a heating bill.

therocinante · 28/03/2021 15:51

Hahaha, your DH sound funny to me.

I think you're being a biiiit oversensitive about it.

stressbandit · 28/03/2021 16:15

Mine does this when he's excited to tell me something or irate about something I have to tell him to stop taking so loud it drives me mad!.
Can also see why it annoys you when I visit my mums all you can hear from outside is shouting and her neighbours are elderly or retired I know they've complained a few times. It's not as nice as your husband shouting either, it's always cunt this or that, and that's when they're being nice to each other 🤦🏽‍♀️.

Tal45 · 28/03/2021 16:23

I'd turn the heating down if it's on and shut the windows so they're just on vent/open a slither. If there's no heating and you have all the windows wide open then I think you're the one with the issue!

His childish sense of humour wouldn't bother me at all, I would only think it would reflect on him if anyone heard him shouting stuff like that.

PattyPan · 28/03/2021 16:29

Yanbu, his behaviour is very childish and inconsiderate. Is he definitely not doing it to get you to shut the windows?

maddiemookins16mum · 28/03/2021 16:30

Flippin eck, where are you that in March you can have all the windows open, I’ve been freezing all day.

Bluntness100 · 28/03/2021 18:25

@maddiemookins16mum

Flippin eck, where are you that in March you can have all the windows open, I’ve been freezing all day.
I know. Can you imagine, freezing your arse off in your own home. That’s way worse than your husband shouting about you getting the shits.

Op, maybe go stay in a tent n your garden? Get all the fresh air you can take?

23PissOffAvenueWF · 28/03/2021 18:38

I tell you what would annoy me - walking around in a thick jumper because I’m freezing.

Why do you get to be the one who determines the house temperature?

His crude shouting is completely grim (maybe invest in some loo cleaner / incense / candles?), but insisting on a freezing cold house is equally unreasonable.

You made you ice-box cold bed, now you have to lie in it.

CirqueDeMorgue · 28/03/2021 18:39

@imalmostthere

Yeah sorry I think you're being precious. It's his home as well as yours, saying he embarrasses you is harsh.
Tbh OP is being less precious than some of the posters who have replied to her - 'Who says bog roll in this day and age?' Fgs.
PattyPan · 28/03/2021 18:41

OP said she was in East Yorkshire- it’s currently 14 degrees in Hull, hardly freezing and perfectly fine with a normal jumper on. My bathroom doesn’t get much above that whether I have the windows open or not!

SchrodingersImmigrant · 28/03/2021 18:44

Do you not have the vertical rain like me in NW?😂 If I left window open, I would be flooded today

Nuitsdesetoiles · 28/03/2021 18:46

@PattyPan

OP said she was in East Yorkshire- it’s currently 14 degrees in Hull, hardly freezing and perfectly fine with a normal jumper on. My bathroom doesn’t get much above that whether I have the windows open or not!
There's absolutely no way most people could happily reside in 14c with just a "normal jumper on". If it was that temp in a workplace people would be sent home.
Strangekindofwoman · 28/03/2021 18:46

I'd bloody well shout if my DH insisted on having all the windows open all the time.

It wouldn't be about bog roll though, it would be more 'shut those bloody windows'