To have told DH that he embarrasses me?

[Mooni]

I have windows open all the time as I need fresh air. We live in a very quiet area, detached house on shared private drive attached to a quiet street so we don’t even get traffic noise. We have a walking path down the side of our house popular with dog walkers etc
DH can’t seem to keep from shouting constantly. You can hear everything from outside and I’m so embarrassed by it.
Examples from this weekend alone:
From bedroom to downstairs “Moonie, Chuck us a bog roll up!” (Bedroom windows wide open)
Kitchen to living room “Racist!” (Kitchen window wide open)
Living room to kitchen “this house smells like a cross between wet dog and BO!” (Patio doors wide open)
Downstairs toilet to kitchen “Moonie have you had diarrhoea?! It stinks in here!” (Window wide open, neighbours behind us sat in garden).

I have asked him to stop shouting all the time and he has said I’m being unreasonable to be embarrassed by him and acting like a snob pretending to be something I’m not. I’m not normally bothered by what people think of me but I think this makes us look rough as hell! No kids at home now, just me and DH
Am I over thinking it?

We’re in East Yorkshire, upstairs windows open all the time, downstairs ones just during the day and when we’re home. DH says it’s freezing and walks around in thick jumpers but I hate being hot

In my office are 2 shouters ffs it’s annoying. The shout for 8 hours and despite being told to quieten down they don’t

'Bog roll' is posh. 'Toilet paper' is not.

@Mooni

We’re in East Yorkshire, upstairs windows open all the time, downstairs ones just during the day and when we’re home. DH says it’s freezing and walks around in thick jumpers but I hate being hot

I think I would find this more difficult to live with than the shouting.

@lottiegarbanzo

'Bog roll' is posh. 'Toilet paper' is not.

Nope

dh tells me I shout too much and "people" outside can hear.

God knows who (as we are detached and in a quiet cul-de-sac) and why he cares what people think about complete normal things we say in our own home!

I know I have a slightly louder voice than him, maybe part of being one of 5 siblings and needing to be heard, some people just do and some people have naturally very quiet voices - it is nothing about learning about "indoors voices" like a child . He comments whenever someone shouts up or downstairs for something that these imaginary "people" outside can hear.

The funny thing is he has this on his mind so much that when we get a takeaway delivered and we were just watching TV when the door goes, he makes up a conversation and a laugh when walking to the door to answer it. He is turning into more of a weirdo the older he gets. 🤣

You need to stop worrying about "people" overhearing your conversations, it is not fair to expect your dh to adjust his behaviour in his own home just because someone outside might hear.

I think YABU. He’s not causing real distress, it all seems quite good natured.

However if you don’t like it, you don’t like it. Do you temper your behaviour when he asks you to? Point that out.

Keep the spare bog roll in the bog, it's what us posh people do, no need for shouting then.

He does sound rough as hell.

I cannot bear adults who don’t have the emotional intelligence not to comment about smells, poo etc.

I can't stand shouting of any kind and your DHs comments aren't my cup of tea for conversation at any volume. I have some neighbours who say everything in a loud voice and it is annoying being able to hear someone else's conversations every time they are outside.

Just don’t respond to any shouting. Respond when he comes and speaks to you from the same room using a normal speaking voice. I’d also ignore any toilet related comments completely but maybe that’s just me.

Buy some fans and close the windows if it bothers you that much.

If you were my neighbours I'd probably just laugh

Content aside, is he going deaf so shouting?

I have the same problem. Once we went to Shakespeare's birthplace, and we were looking at the old graffiti in the birthroom. My OH said loudly 'has anyone drawn a cock and balls'? This was in front of other visitors. I was really embarrassed and disgusted with him.

He has no couth 😁

wouldnt bother me too much i dont like being hot but you have to compromise somewhere its not fair to be freezing all the time

You need to give him a dose of his own medicine. HUSBAND YOURE TOO OLD TO PLAY WITH DOLLS, HUSBAND WHAT HAVE WE SAID IS THE APPROPRIATE PLACE TO TOUCH YOURSELF ITS NOT ASDA THEY HAVE CALLED AGAIN, HUSBAND WE DONT EAT TOILET ROLL!

We live next door to a shouter, he can't seem to talk at a normal level. His constant effing and jeffing annoys the hell out of us. I'd stop responding to his shouts, he's like an attention-seeking child.

Maybe he is doing it so you will shut the windows? It must be shit being freezing all the time.

My idea of misery:

Living with a shouty man.
Living with a man who comments on lavatorial matters in an uncouth manner.
Living with a woman who keeps the house cold all the bloody time.

All three together - absolute hell.

Oh I would be freezing. I thought you will say some warm country. We have windows open daily but no way would I have them open all the time. It's like 12 degrees atm and freezing wind.
And I like cold

@Mooni

We’re in East Yorkshire, upstairs windows open all the time, downstairs ones just during the day and when we’re home. DH says it’s freezing and walks around in thick jumpers but I hate being hot

But why does your needs trump his? You don't get to constantly freeze people because you're hot. Seriously, get some fans.

@Mooni

We’re in East Yorkshire, upstairs windows open all the time, downstairs ones just during the day and when we’re home. DH says it’s freezing and walks around in thick jumpers but I hate being hot

This sounds like hell. I have raynauds and I feel the cold. You can't expect another human to live like this. Regardless of any shouting you're being unreasonable. I have sat and shivered in offices with blue fingers before because of fresh air zealots.

I can't really see a problem with it, he's at home and allowed to make comments if he wants! I bet the neighbours/ passers by don't care half as much as you think they do, and if they do notice they probably find it funny.

The only comment that would have bothered me would have been the diahorrea one, as that's a very personal and private thing to say! Other than that I wouldn't care. Maybe he's getting you back because it irritates him that he has to live in a wind tunnel because you have to have everything open all the time