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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what your biggest regret in life is?

830 replies

SylviaPlath1984 · 28/03/2021 09:22

Or even what you feel you might regret in the future if you don't do it soon?

I regret not taking school more seriously or trying harder, not making more of myself.

What about you?

OP posts:
Lexilooo · 28/03/2021 13:03

Not trying for a baby before I was 35.

By the time I realised that maybe I did want a baby I was pushing 40, DH even older and it just hasn't happened.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 28/03/2021 13:04

Like many, school, doing something monumentally stupid as an adult, having an abortion I was pressured into, not going to see my dad one weekend-he had a heart attack that night. Spending all my emotional energy on my oldest son-his asd took over our lives to the detriment of my other sons.
On a shallower level, not looking after my teeth, skin and weight.

GingerBeverage · 28/03/2021 13:04

Reacting too slowly, not planning or envisioning the future. Letting things happen instead of driving them.

RiverMeadow · 28/03/2021 13:09

I don't think I have any. I mean of course I've done things and things have happened that haven't been ideal but no regrets as such!

PolarnOPirate · 28/03/2021 13:10

It’s a tricky one. I’m 31 so maybe my regrets are ahead of me! In a way I wish I had gone to uni, but I wish I had had an academic passion which I didn’t, so I would have gone to uni because it’s the done thing, so I’m glad I didn’t. Would be nice to have a bunch of lifelong uni friends and a degree leading to a job though.

I regret not doing dance and art as a child and going to a stage school, as clearly I would have been a west end star or successful artist by now Wink but that was in the hands of my parents so I can’t regret that one.

I do regret being soooo foul to my mum. I never felt she liked me very much, I even remember saying to her when I was a child (under 10) ‘I don’t think you like me 😭’ and she said ‘I do; I love you!’ (She rarely-to-never said that), and I said ‘yes but do you LIKE me??’ So we always had a strained relationship and when the teen years hit - wow! Nothing too bad; I would have never have dared to swear or hit her but wow I wanted to. Even today she is annoying but I understand her a lot more with every year. I love that about getting older and living life. There are some things you just can’t understand until you have lived some years.

RIPworkingmums · 28/03/2021 13:18

Much like previous pp, I have been with my partner since we were teenagers and I honestly don’t think we should have stayed together. We are now tied with mortgage, children etc and it doesn’t feel right to separate for no real reason but I feel like i never really ‘found myself’ or experienced different relationships to discover what was right for me.

I also wish I had pushed more for help after DD1 was born. I was young and both me and my partner told the midwife I was struggling/feeling depressed at the 6 week sign off but she palmed it off as baby blues and I felt stupid asking for help after that. I feel like I never properly bonded with my first daughter.

memberofthewedding · 28/03/2021 13:18

My biggest regret is that out of all the places on my bucket list I never visited the Galapagos islands. I would love to see the sea turtles, the giant tortoises and Iguanas. I could afford to go but certainly the tortoises live on remote islands and my mobility issues would hamper this, even when international travel resumes. Im in my mid 70s so have resigned myself to never seeing these things in person.

OloBo · 28/03/2021 13:26

Not having confidence in myself.

I knew the kind of career I should have when I was young but was too scared to do it. Now I’m realising I should have pursued it. Trying to start working towards it, but I don’t know it’ll it’s going to be possible now I have kids to support and a mortgage to pay.

MiaMarshmallows · 28/03/2021 13:27

Letting people stay in my life far longer than they deserved to be.
Not quitting certain jobs way sooner than I did.
Not telling certain people exactly what I thought of them.

1FootInTheRave · 28/03/2021 13:28

I would like to erase my 13th year completely.

Alfiemoon1 · 28/03/2021 13:33

Taking a year out between a levels and university because I didn’t know what I wanted to do of course I never went as got used to earning money and bought a house with my dh at 19 so have drifted from one crap job to another

Not starting a pension younger

DarkMatterA2Z · 28/03/2021 13:52

Marrying my current DH. He's a decent father and I did love him but he's a complete workaholic and has left me to do almost everything around the house and for our DC while he prioritises his work over everything else. My own career has suffered as a result.

willithappen · 28/03/2021 14:05

Thanks ladies who responded to mine. I know I shouldn't think it's karma but I really can't help but think it is

Cookiecrumblepie · 28/03/2021 14:09

Not standing up for myself and cutting negative people out of my life. Not prioritising myself and my own needs. But this is easily changed, I’m much less of a doormat now!

dottiedodah · 28/03/2021 14:12

ZombeaArthur /Coveting thepreciousthings I dont know how old you are ,but honestly its never too late to learn to drive . Its freedom and once you pass your test you never look back .My DM who was very kind ,and wanted the best for me ,had sadly failed her DT many times and I too was told how "hard" driving was! When I passed at 32 she was pleased but a bit shocked I think .Years on she was pleased we could go out for days together .Give it a go you will be glad you did!

zingally · 28/03/2021 14:14

I wish I'd chosen a different degree course.
I did psychology because I enjoyed it a lot at A-Level. But I wish, in hindsight, that I'd chosen something that would have had a more clear and obvious career path associated with it.

Alfiemoon1 · 28/03/2021 14:17

The way my relationship has turned out with my dd who is 19 really hope in the future we can rebuild it

Hamhockandmash · 28/03/2021 14:18

I wish I’d written that book.

Iloveshreddies · 28/03/2021 14:18

Seeking validation from men. Big regret. Waste of time and energy.

Crazycakelady17 · 28/03/2021 14:19

Mine is not disclosing the SA I was suffering till I was 17 it had been going on since I was 11 and it was the hardest time and felt it was pushed under the rug ruined my relationship with my mum as she stayed with my abuser, I got married at 18 and moved abroad to escape the situation I finally managed to report him to the police at the age of 36 and although the rial was the hardest thing I have ever done it was also the closure I finally needed to start to rebuild my life

LakieLady · 28/03/2021 14:21

Splitting up with my late DP in 1988.

We stayed good friends and got back together in 2010, and had 10 wonderful years, but the thought that we could have had 33 years together is really sad.

nobodysdaughter · 28/03/2021 14:22

Not looking after my teeth.

FakeFruitShoot · 28/03/2021 14:23

I wish I'd spent less time feeling guilty about my / our financial situation. DH inherited when his parents died (he was a teenager) so why the fuck wouldn't we have a nice house?!

I am getting there.

IEat · 28/03/2021 14:33

GCSE Maths 1989
I sat middle paper grades C to E I got a D, in the December I sat the higher paper and got an A but it wasn’t an official resit cos my school didn’t do resits... still pisses me off all these years later.

riotlady · 28/03/2021 14:38

I wish I hadn’t gained so much weight. I’m obese now and its so hard to lose.

Other mistakes I don’t regret because they led me to good things. If I hadn’t had a break down at uni, I wouldn't have moved back to my old home town and met DP and had DD, for example.