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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what your biggest regret in life is?

830 replies

SylviaPlath1984 · 28/03/2021 09:22

Or even what you feel you might regret in the future if you don't do it soon?

I regret not taking school more seriously or trying harder, not making more of myself.

What about you?

OP posts:
Barton10 · 28/03/2021 14:38

Not going to University as I was more interested in my boyfriend.

EternalOptimist7 · 28/03/2021 14:48

It’s not exactly a regret but I wish I’d met DH when I was a bit younger so that we could possibly have had children naturally. Then again we wouldn’t have adopted our beautiful, amazing, complex, unbelievably stubborn DD who we love more than life itself even whilst she is causing us to tear our hair out & want to move into the summerhouse! Sometimes I regret not going to Uni. And when I was 16 I really wanted to apply to drama school but my folks said I wasn’t ready - I regret not pushing harder for that.

MissConductUS · 28/03/2021 14:49

Not quitting alcohol until my early 30's. It almost killed me.

DinosaurDiana · 28/03/2021 14:51

I wish I’d asked my mum if she wanted to leave her second husband and live with me and my DH.
It wasn’t until after she had died that I realised what a twat he was.

greycloudysky · 28/03/2021 14:52

I wish I hadn't been a doormat and put up with so much crap, including abuse from people throughout my life.

I regret not studying law at university and would have loved a career in law.

I regret not looking after myself better and putting myself first. I also regret putting up with my family for so long instead of giving them all the finger years ago.

BearSoFair · 28/03/2021 14:58

Not moving abroad when I had the chance in my 20s. I'm sure it wouldn't have been permanent, but I wish I'd done it for a few years.

Itawapuddytat · 28/03/2021 14:58

Regrets... not many. Although sometimes I wonder how my life'd have been if I had chosen to have a relationship with someone I turned down many years ago for a very silly reason, while I was studying abroad (and probably would have settled in that country). Or how things would have developed if I hadn't stayed too long in another relationship, even though I knew things were not going well (but then I wouldn't have had the chance to meet DH not long after that finished). Things like this. Or, when I wanted to retrain, if instead of doing X, I'd have done Y....

Namechange2790 · 28/03/2021 15:03

I wanted to leave school after GCSEs and train to be a beauty therapist. My father said it was a waste of a grammar school education and I was better than that, and I stayed on to do a-levels which I did crap in and fell pregnant at 18 so have had to put my family first since then. I sometimes wonder if my life would have been much different if I’d had a more supportive home which allowed me to be me. I don’t blame my father at all, he had a tough childhood and was also pushed into a (non-academic) career by his dad because they couldn’t afford uni and he was just doing what he felt was best for us, even if it wasn’t actually the right path for me because I’m not academic

Xdecd · 28/03/2021 15:07

Choosing to stay and put down roots in the city I went to university in. I'm 4 hours drive from my ageing parents and I'd love my DD to see her grandparents every weekend like I did. If I had my time again I'd move back.

maddiemookins16mum · 28/03/2021 15:10

Not getting better qualifications.
Not telling my mum how much I loved her before she went into a coma and died.

LampsOn · 28/03/2021 15:11

I wish I studied art at university. I was pushed into something more mainstream and ended up with a disappointing career. I now hate my job, office politics and pretending to care in meetings. I think I need to retrain and do something more creative but with two small children and a mortgage I'm not sure if I can take the risk at the moment.

justanotherneighinparadise · 28/03/2021 15:13

Not belong successful when I tried to take my life multiple times in my twenties. I wish I hadn’t given up.

alanpartridgefromtheoasthouse · 28/03/2021 15:14

Not trying again for things I failed the first time round. Oxford, Civil Service etc. Instead I settled for the next best thing each time and have ended up wondering "what if". My life is fine but dull. I wish I'd had the perseverance to try again.

Chimeraforce · 28/03/2021 15:18

I wish I'd pursued book keeping or accountancy or got an apprenticeship at the council in 1989 when I left school.
Instead I went into YTS retail....

floridamanatee · 28/03/2021 15:18

Spending too much time falling out with friends over ridiculous things. It was just an immaturity thing and I've grown up now but a few friendships I miss greatly could have survived if had valued them more.

I wish I'd had the confidence to choose a career and follow it through. I have a degree and have always been employed but nothing I could ever progress in. Even though they don't say anything, I think some members of my family are a little disappointed in me.

Chimeraforce · 28/03/2021 15:20

@justanotherneighinparadise sorry Flowers that you feel that way

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 28/03/2021 15:21

Letting my eating disorder get the better of me

Only having one DS

They are the only things though, life isn’t perfect

pisspants · 28/03/2021 15:23

I wish I had not spent on credit cards (another without anything to show for it) and had saved a small.amount regularly. I also wish I'd flossed and seen a dental hygienist regularly as at 43 I had advanced gum disease and my front tooth is on its last legs Confused

MrsMackesy · 28/03/2021 15:23

I have half a dozen, but I couldn't choose the biggest, certainly out of 3 of them.

Gwenhwyfar · 28/03/2021 15:23

" I have a degree and have always been employed but nothing I could ever progress in. Even though they don't say anything, I think some members of my family are a little disappointed in me."

Some of mine might be too, but there are many more graduates than there are graduate jobs these days so a degree is not a passport to a career like it used to be. It's not your fault.

Positivevibesonlyplease · 28/03/2021 15:25

@LampsOn

I wish I studied art at university. I was pushed into something more mainstream and ended up with a disappointing career. I now hate my job, office politics and pretending to care in meetings. I think I need to retrain and do something more creative but with two small children and a mortgage I'm not sure if I can take the risk at the moment.
Me too.
Noshowlomo · 28/03/2021 15:26

I wish I’d smashed my degree instead of pissing around and become a palaeontologist

MatildaTheCat · 28/03/2021 15:31

My Dad dying alone in lockdown in a COVID infested nursing home I hated.

Things I could have had some control over: definitely prioritising boys over school and other hobbies as a teenager. Not learning the correlation between career choices and lifestyle. Not really having the drive to progress in my career to the extent I was capable.

On the whole though, most of this is just who I am, how I was brought up and regret doesn’t achieve much.

Roseyleaf · 28/03/2021 15:32

Staying with my alcoholic husband because of my own lack of self-worth.

Happycat1212 · 28/03/2021 15:32

Having children

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