To ask what your biggest regret in life is?

[SylviaPlath1984]

Or even what you feel you might regret in the future if you don't do it soon?

I regret not taking school more seriously or trying harder, not making more of myself.

What about you?

I’m sorry for your loss

Have you tried HRT for the brain fog?

How’s your thyroid?

@Weemovitchski I’m so sorry you went through that. It’s frightening, the biggest killers of pregnant women are their husbands

Not following my chosen career..
Following my heart and never my head
Leaving my last job.. huge regrets, worst decision I have ever made..
Not telling my Mum face to face how much I loved her
Never becoming a mother.. though not by choice

@caringcarer same here, I hope you are well

@GoinSouth I also regret 2 abortions but I was living in squats in London and pretty much homeless at times. Regret having tokophobia because of abuse in foster care & CPTSD. I would love a child or more but I have extreme fear of doctors and anything to do with my private area.

@LittleBoPeep95 oh you poor sausage, that’s awful and I’m sorry for you. This is why I have tokophobia and had to abort. My bladder and vagina are messed up anyway and have Interstitial Cystitis which is a bane! It’s awful cause you can’t even talk to people about it cause it freaks them out.

@numberoneson I’m glad you’re getting better. please can you recommend the professionals helping you? I also have CPTSD and NHS are zero help

Not learning to drive, I'm now early 30s and scared to learn

I learnt in my 30s ( passed aged 35 now 45), it's life changing you can do it.

Funnily enough, I regret going to university & getting a degree! Prior to this I was working, although not earning a lot of money, but my employer sent me to do an HNC course, which I did well in. I could have left it at that, but instead decided to go off to uni. This was a big shock to the system, as I suddenly had no money, and the whole experience changed me from an easy-going person to an arrogant, unhappy one. This gradually alienated me from my family, and the relationship was never the same. I came out of uni with debts (although not at the levels experienced by students these days). I've been in & out of work since, and have changed career a couple of times. I'm currently not working, and spending most of my time doing up my house. I don't really know what I want anymore from life, but have a big urge to travel, when this is possible again... In short, I'm just generally unsettled & unhappy with my life.

I regret not talking sooner about some childhood sexual abuse I experienced when I was about 12. It left me confused and mixed up for a long time. Finally spoke about it and have moved on from it. Alert from that I don't think I regret anything, every bad decision I have made has led me somewhere else but I suppose if anything, I would regret opportunities that I didn't take because of lack not courage. As they say, you tend to regret the things that you didn't do.

Oh regrets, well not learning to drive at 17.
Not insisting on a gap year aged 18, but instead going straight to university.

This next one is difficult; I believe I met the love of my life shortly before falling pregnant with DS (aged 27) . I wanted to keep the baby and so stayed with DH , married and had Dd. I love my children and quite like my life but I can't help but wonder what if ?

It's hard, because all the decisions I made, seemed right at the time.

I really wanted to go to university. But if I'd got a job after a levels, I could have bought a house before crazy prices. I may also not have ended up in a graduate career that pays less than other jobs. My parents' career advice was always:"go and work for the council".I actually wish I'd followed it.

But then, I'd be here regretting not going to uni and marrying some bloke from the pub.

Not having more children. Even though I divorced the father of my two who was totally wrong for me, plus I stayed with him for too long. Got a great life now, grandchilden and an amazing hubby., so wouldn't actually change anything, even if I could.

@Fountainsoftea

It's hard, because all the decisions I made, seemed right at the time.

I really wanted to go to university. But if I'd got a job after a levels, I could have bought a house before crazy prices. I may also not have ended up in a graduate career that pays less than other jobs. My parents' career advice was always:"go and work for the council".I actually wish I'd followed it.

But then, I'd be here regretting not going to uni and marrying some bloke from the pub.

That's so wise. We might regret what we didn't do but if we had done it, regret not living the life we did end up having. For years I thought my degree was a waste of time. Then I changed careers and it became vital. For years I felt I'd wasted my twenties, career driven and single and lonely, but then I met DH who I'd not have clicked with when I was younger, and we have been happy for 25 years. For every thing I wish I'd done differently, I'm aware that I may have taken a path that led me to a less happy future - who knows?

All my ex-boyfriends.
Not adopting sooner, then maybe I'd have had more kids.
Not working harder at school.
Smoking.

LittleBoPeep95.

Don't give up. It took me 6 gynae ops over ten years to put things right. My biggesrt regret was not getting enough rest after each operation and undoing all the hard work. I was a single mother (after a divorce) and didn't have anyone to help me look after my kids. I had a new relationship by the time I had the last one and he wouldn't let me lift a finger and finally it worked. My advice to you is if you can, get some one to help you with all the house work, all the lifting we do like lifting a laundry basket can put strain on internal stitches. I hope all goes well for you in the future.

Not telling him I loved him when I had the chance

There are many many little things I regret that haven't (thankfully) greatly impacted my life.
My biggest regret is not trying hard enough with 2 of my sisters. I have 4 altogether, I'm the oldest by 7-9 years. 2 sisters with my mum, 2 with my dad.
My dad was mentally abusive and sometimes referred to me as a financial burden. To my face. I've been estranged from him for 17 years. This put a huge strain on my relationship with my sisters. One flat out refused to come to my wedding. The other just couldn't forgive me for not being at our dad's bedside when he purposely overdosed on drugs over a women that he also mentally abused for years. I tired hard to keep our relationship alive. I really did. It just couldn't continue. I wish I'd tried harder to make them understand my position. I wish I told them how much I love them more.
I'm now completely estranged from that side of my family, including a nephew I'm not allowed to see and a niece I've never even met. It's been 7 years this year since I saw them.

@ThebirdsAndBeesWhereThere

I have no regrets.

Good and bad experiences make me who I am today. I like who I am.

Agree with this. The choices I made, I made for reasons that made sense at the time.

I haven’t had the easiest life (loads of physical and mental health problems, never had a long-term partner, don’t have any support) but I always believed I was doing the right thing at the time. Or at least the best I could, with what I knew.

I've made a fair few mistakes in my life, luckily none that have affected anyone but myself. I think many would regret some of my life story but to be honest if I hadn't of gone through all I did, I wouldn't have learnt so many life lessons, I wouldn't know as much about myself and be as self assured and have as much confidence and self love as I do now. My life is near perfect now and I can't regret anything from my past as it has made me who I am and have the life I do, I wouldn't change my husband or children, my life for anything in the world.

As they say it's better to learn lessons from regrets and grow, than to live your life with what ifs? Surely life is to learn and grown, not to be perfect from the get go.

@Poptart4

Not making more of an effort to keep certain friendships going.

When I met my partner at 21 we were so in love, I thought that he was all I needed. So neglected my friends. Then I fell pregnant quickly and our son had disabilities which meant I really didn't have time for friends as he took up all of my energy. Plus being in our early 20's most of my friends didn't have children and really didn't have the patience or understanding for what I was going through.

20 yrs later, I'm still with dp and ds, while still disabled, is doing so much better. I have alot more time on my hands these days but few friends to spend it with. I look back and think I could have made a little more effort with certain people.

I wouldn't change my life for the world but I realise now that I didn't appreciate how important friendships are when I was younger.

I don’t know if this is helpful or if you feel it’s possible, but if I got a message like yours from someone I’d been friends with 20 years ago, I’d be really touched. I’ve happily reinvigorated old friendships during lockdown. Just wanted to say that maybe it’s not too late to reach out

Hmmm, not exactly regrets but some things I would have done differently:

• getting involved in a long distance relationship in my early 20s
• spending too much of an inheritance, not on useless expenses just living, would have a house now.
• should have chosen career in law (it was my number 2 choice). Was PA to a top lawyer who told me out the blue to study law, that I could even do the practice work at her firm, that she could tell I had the perfect mindset to be a good lawyer...

@Cowbells

Not writing a book. I've thought for decades that I'd like to write one. Don't care if no one likes or reads it, or if it gets published. Just to complete one would be an achievement.

And not losing weight. I have lost some but not enough. I know life is easier and people are nicer to you when you are slim. I was slim for most of my adult life and had no idea how much meaner and more dismissive people are when you are fat until I gained weight.

Genuine question: what’s stopping you writing a book now? My 73 year old friend is writing one for her grandchildren. She’s not aiming to get published, just to finish it.

I stayed with my first boyfriend for far too long, had quite a miserable time in my 20's went to the wrong uni and I don't feel like I've had the career I could have been capable of and I've been crap with money in my life, as well as starting a family later than I would have liked. So lots of mistakes
But I'm very happy with where I am now. I'm (mostly) happily married, I love where we live, great friends and most importantly two amazing kids. So no real regrets because I wouldn't change them for the world.
I do wish I'd started exercising sooner - I really enjoy it now after resisting it for years and I feel so much healthier for it

What is the point of regret?