To ask what your biggest regret in life is?

[SylviaPlath1984]

Or even what you feel you might regret in the future if you don't do it soon?

I regret not taking school more seriously or trying harder, not making more of myself.

What about you?

Got a sisters post in ICU, could do the job fine but let jealous bullies get to me and stepped down after 4 years when I had ds2.
Had an emotionally, verbally and occasionally physically abusive partner, took me years to pluck up courage to leave him, best thing I ever did. New partner of 7 years couldn't be more different.
Wish I'd gone to live in germany with my friend in the mid 80s. She's still there. I loved the language and culture, some of my best memories are from visits as a teenager.
Wish I'd looked after my dad for the last few months of his life. He was main carer for my mum who had dementia. I lived a good hour away so couldn't do much. Mum went into a residential home for respute when he was ill with pneumonia. In retrospect she should have stayed in there whilst I cared for him. Will always regret it.

Staying in a relationship with my boyfriend from school all throughout my uni years, during which he became incredibly insecure and possessive, only to find out afterwards that he'd been sleeping around behind my back.

Having children earlier, was scared to give birth. Had my two aged 38 and 39. Both are 9 and 10 now
Learning to drive. Passed at 40. Should have done it years before

Regret taking crap and poor treatment from men due to self esteem issues.
Wish I’d have worked on self esteem issues earlier!

I regret not feeling more confident and assertive in my life choices. I should have worked harder at Uni and got a better degree (although i have an interesting career anyway). I regret only having one DC - should have tried to conceive earlier but too scared (emetophobe) and ran out of time.

Can I ask what career you are in?

Having my daughters as 'early' as I did. I don't regret having them at all, far from it, I love being a mother to them. But wish I had them a couple of years later

Breaking up with my first fiance
Marrying someone who didn't fancy me
Being bullied into an abortion
Comforting eating as a result of the above
Not making a good career for myself

Please do not think it’s Karma. I did the same. I regret it hugely. But then we really wouldn’t have had the life we’ve had or people the people we are now. That event has so many lessons in it for us, it’s our soul’s journey in this life. You need to forgive yourself. I have. Our emotional life is very much caught up with our physical one. Perhaps you feel you don’t deserve a child now because of what you did? You should visualise yourself saying goodbye to the memory, making peace. Who knows what might happen xxx

Very low self confidence throughout my life. Went to grammar school, but was in the ‘middle tier’ so not clever enough to be clever, but not struggling enough to get help. Worked for 3 years before uni, loved uni, but have never used my degree despite it being in science as never thought I was skilled enough to apply for degree level jobs.
Rather existed through life. Had part-time supermarket job which I loved, but got fired for an error on my part. Bitterly bitterly regret this. They were right to fire me (about 7 years ago now) but I still miss that job. Regret not asking for supportwith my eldest son. He has autism. I’m sure it is due to some of the actions I felt I had to take when he was little(too scary and shameful to admit here).
So many regrets.

I wish I'd never met my abusive ex husband at 15
He destroyed my confidence and self belief which had an impact long term.
Free again by 40 though so the last 8 years has been making up for lost time 🙂

Listening to my parents too much
Wanting to please my parents too much
Not pursuing music and drama properly in favour of 'academic' subjects (to please my father)
Other than that I'm pretty solid on the decisions I've made and I don't regret too much. Maybe dying my hair really really dark brown in my twenties was a bad idea...

I regret not going abroad and learning a foreign language when I was young.
Not working harder at piano when I was at school. My experience of taking it up 20 year later has been that although one might improve a bit as a mature student, the real learning and advances happen as a child and teenager.

@willithappen

My biggest regret is being so focussed on boyfriends from a teenage age. To the point I lost out on good opportunities. I'm 28 now, I know I still have time ahead of me but yeah. I went to the university nearest me so I could stay home and be with me boyfriend at the time (who of course was cheating on me the whole time). Got accepted to all my choices and realistically would have moved to Edinburgh and went to halls if boyfriend wasn't in the picture.

Went to work at a summer camp in America shortly after, best experience of my life, but of course I got involved with someone over there too. Most intense summer romance, love at first sight type pthing. Turns out he wasn't the best either (I have a whooole story on this). I was meant to go back to camp the following year but decided not to because the guy I had met was continue to pursue me (long, intense emails declaring love). I knew if I went back I'd have gone back to him and felt at the time that I needed to avoid that and move on. So yeah, never went back to that camp.
It's shut down now, or I'd have tried to get back a couple years ago.
I also fell pregnant with him, ended up having an abortion because of the distance, how he was, how young I was and how I felt at the time. That is 100% the biggest regret of my life.
I'm now in the happiest relationship but unfortunately have been unable to fall pregnant and doing IVF. I will always feel this is my karma for the abortion.

I have two friends who had 7 abortions between them. Both have children. My cousin never had any abortions but can't get pregnant, even with IVF. Don't be hard on yourself.

'fertility waster' Yep, I had one of those too.

@willithappen I had an abortion when young (I regret that I couldn't have that child but it was very much the wrong circumstance) and always thought the same - for years - and was secretly consumed with grief. I did have a child in the end. He has some SEN and sometimes that old karma thought comes back to haunt me. But trust me - if karma was really a thing we'd see the truly bad people (dictators, arms manufacturers and so on) coming to grief, not those of us who once had an impossible decision to make. You're not alone on this one, and you're not a bad person for choosing an abortion.

Not emigrating to New Zealand 20 years ago when I had the chance to relocate with job I often wondered how my life would of been 😞

Giving up 20 years to follow DH around with his career and bring up my children.

I am now trying to get a career off the ground in middle age.
The DC’s have left home and feel I came up short as a parent.
DH hates being the sole bread winner.

I tried very hard to please everyone other than myself. I pleased no one and have nothing to show for my life.

you regret having a child or not having a child?

Putting silly men before myself. Not having the confidence to be on my own. Not standing up to my parents and doing the degree I wanted to do. Letting a man f#ck up my finances when I was 22 and taking 10 years to sort it out.

I regret having the hope and belief that if I worked hard enough that things would just “work out” for me, that bosses I had would reward me, that men I invested time worth would see the light and offer a more emotionally fulfilling relationship. I failed to realize how inherently manipulative and selfish people can be. I spent way too much time with men who were terrible for me and to me. I wasted too much time trying to gain my (small town mentality) family’s approval when they were never supportive of me (only petty and jealous). I regret not trying harder to move abroad when I was younger. I’ve worked so hard, gave 110% to my jobs and relationships, saved for pension, traveled a fair amount but I just feel like I’m always behind people who just happen to marry rich or inherit a LOT of money. I am tired of working so hard and still stressing about money. I regret not figuring out how to have an easier life.

Not getting proper treatment for a teenage ED leading to years of extreme weight gain / loss and shite teeth

some of you are so hard on yourselves.. 'nothing to show for your life'... feeling stupid - uneducated... I know that feeling. i was a late starter, at uni at 35... ignorance is not stupidity but a difficult transcending of knowledge.... my lack of education nearly was the end of me... not just for feeling stupid, but for not knowing what 'real' thinking was, to be able to hold and process information, having wonderful things to remember, to carry about in one's head as if one has a treasure chest 'up there'... having to depend on instinct and reflex... feeling vulnerable - feeling ignorant is not a nice feeling...most people if educated could do very well... most people are capable... more than capable... so there are alot of wasted amazing minds out there... some people don't want education and they come from personality orientated families, which is great.. but some like me,, were not... very difficult.. my family full of high acheivers... but of course... we realise finally that we can do something and find our goals that are possible, still possible

I applied for a ‘proper job’ when I came out of uni and also an internship with the BBC to work doing the stuff of my dreams.... I got offered both and could only take one because of start dates.... I took the proper job.

I don’t really believe in having regrets. But that.... I absolutely regret.

what is an emetophobe?