To ask what your biggest regret in life is?

[SylviaPlath1984]

Or even what you feel you might regret in the future if you don't do it soon?

I regret not taking school more seriously or trying harder, not making more of myself.

What about you?

I regret having poor self-esteem and letting men treat me so badly in my teens and early 20s. I regret being promiscuous as a result of poor self-esteem. I regret having a terrible relationship with alcohol as a teenager and young adult - I had an accident which scarred me permanently. And I regret not protecting my skin from the sun.

@willithappen

Thanks *@timewilltellsontrushit* that's interesting to hear of others with the same. They always say an abortion won't affect fertility but I really wonder otherwise I have a healthy BMI, but I do know I eat far too much sugar! I am just awaiting a frozen transfer, luckily got 4 embryos in the freezer after a cycle last month and should be starting the transfer process on my next cycle (in a day or two if it comes on time)

Just wanted to send a hug and wish you luck @willithappen. I have been there and it’s so hard. It isn’t you, karma, or how much sugar you eat, or anything like that. It’s just bad luck and a medical issue.

Not going travelling when younger. Tied myself down with a mortgage at 21 years old....

My friend said she regrets wasting money on University on a course that didn't really help with employment and having to repay the debt years later

Coffee together in the garden! Yippee

@LavenderLollies. I was in a very similar situation, kept being told that he was fine and that I'd get the hang of it. Even when expressing I could only get about 25ml out. He ended up jaundiced (hospital didn't notice this, friends did) ' dangerously low blood sugar, and in SCBU for 6 days. It was a hideous time. I stopped trying soon after we left hospital, for the sake of my sanity. I only realised something must have been wrong when I had my second, tried to BF and was terrified he was not getting enough too and stopped. I then became engorged - that never happened with DS1.

[quote PolaDeVeboise]@LavenderLollies. I was in a very similar situation, kept being told that he was fine and that I'd get the hang of it. Even when expressing I could only get about 25ml out. He ended up jaundiced (hospital didn't notice this, friends did) ' dangerously low blood sugar, and in SCBU for 6 days. It was a hideous time. I stopped trying soon after we left hospital, for the sake of my sanity. I only realised something must have been wrong when I had my second, tried to BF and was terrified he was not getting enough too and stopped. I then became engorged - that never happened with DS1. [/quote]
I’m so sorry ❤️ And thanks for the reply. It’s surprisingly common but people are so desperate to encourage bf and not ‘put people off’ they don’t talk about it, like it’s a huge taboo.

I sincerely wish I’d had the strength and courage to just stop trying to bf after a few weeks and move to EFF, it would have made our first year infinitely more enjoyable, I still can’t believe I dragged myself out of bed (baby awake or not) at 11pm and 3am and 7am every single night for over half a year to pump 15ml, somehow believing that it would help my supply... because that’s what people say.

It was a form of madness on my part, I don’t plan more kids but if I ever have a second I will be happily formula feeding from day one and telling anyone who asks about my feeding plans that it’s private.

So glad both our children survived

Place marking! Interesting thread

Not being assertive enough and allowing people to treat me like shit-stems from low confidence. Taking a performance enhancing drug for sports which left me covered in acne and other things I have never being able to get rid of. Drug binges in my youth, treating people badly....

I’ve done things that I’m deeply ashamed of and which still make me cringe 10+ years later but I don’t regret them because they made me who I am and have knocked away any smug feelings of superiority that I might have hung onto if I hadn’t done such stupid things myself. I never judge people for making stupid mistakes (unless they keep repeating them again and again).

I think my only regret is not going to the police about a university acquaintance who sexually assaulted me and later tried to suffocate me with a pillow for no reason. He was a liability, I never felt safe around him, and my housemates (all male) and boyfriend were seriously pathetic about supporting me with my very reasonable request to not allow him in our house after these incidents. I had to deal with it on my own (the only person who actually supported me was his housemate, who I barely knew, but will forever be grateful to) and tell him personally that he wasn’t allowed in my house... on,y for him to ignore it and turn up anyway 6 months later... it was extremely stressful and I was terrified of him, and furious with my so-called friends for being such cowards. And worried about what he could still do to me and other women. He’s now living in another country permanently so there doesn’t seem any point in reporting him now.

@skirk64

Biggest regret is not putting all my money into Bitcoins when I first heard about them a decade or so ago.

Snap! A relative has made over a million

• being a complete wimp from day one when my DC was born and not standing up for myself with an ex. It set a precedent that has completely damaged me for years+
• not looking after my teeth as much
• letting myself get fat
• generally neglecting myself
• wasting money on stupid pointless things when I had it

My biggest regret is not having more children. I have one DD I love so much but still wish I had more. too late now due to age and finances.

Having children with an alcoholic. I wouldn't change my children for anything, but I feel terrible regret and that I've really failed them as their dad cares more about alcohol than them.

Not living more before I settled down. My childhood was very controlled by fear . I left that and didn't have the confidence to live and enjoy my life. Then I had my beautiful children who I love and don't regret and settled down.

😢😢🌹

Not having more children. My dear Dad passed away the year I had my second son, it was really traumatic and I just shut down from anything like that for years. I’m now 45 and too old

Eating too much chocolate!

Debt at a young age- mainly clothes, a big wedding and travel, so nothing to show for it now, and still paying it off and can't have clothes and travel now!

I did badly at school and was diagnosed dyslexic at uni. Wish I'd asked for help earlier and got more help with exams

Failed my third year at uni and didn't resit it. So three years wasted there too.

Wish I'd been nicer to my late mum.

Wish I'd known my nephew was depressed before he took his life at 14....

Wow this is a dark road to walk down. So many regrets.

Not seeking help with my anxiety and depression until my 40s. In hindsight it has blighted my life. I have underachieved massively as a result in my career, my love life, my relationships with friends and family, and my health. I've been angry with myself for decades which has made the depression worse.

Not paying attention and trying harder at school. Was very bored and found the work easy, just imagine if I’d really knuckled down.
Met and married too young. Had children too young ( wouldn’t be without them now but still).
Got fat, neglected my physical appearance.
Wasted money, now I live alone children all grown, I’m late fifties and I think this is as good as it gets.
Wish I had a time machine go back 45 years and really crack I at school.

Taking too long to realise that I don't necessarily have to say Yes to every request.

Not being braver in life/ work.

Not taking a great job I was offered early in my career that would have taken me down a very different career path.

Not applying to Oxbridge (to stick one up at my smug husband...).

Generally I try not to have regrets though.

Marrying the man who is stbxh even though I had misgivings just before the wedding. Having children when I didn't want any and do ending up staying with him for far too long. Not leaving when I first wanted to, before kids, just because he said our parents would not accept divorce and they'd be upset about the £s they'd spent on the wedding (which was much bigger than I wanted because his parents took over). Not continuing my career when children came along I should have been more forceful in making OH do his fair share of house/kid stuff. I've now left him and can't believe how much happier I am so really do regret not doing it all those years ago.

Oh my lovelies. You cannot regret the past. It is another dimension. You don't live there anymore (coursety of my best friend). Look at what you would want to do if you had 12 months on this earth. Hurt no one if you can avoid it, but be kind to yourself. I am not a life coach but live by Beverly Knight's song,-coulda, woulda, shoulda. The words of a fool. Don't be one. We all have a gift, something we can do better than others. Find it, do it. You might be able to make a business out of your talents.

My gut feeling is to say changing careers but who knows, it felt like the right thing to do at the time. It's so long ago that I would have to retrain now anyway.

I definitely do regret getting into debt in the belief that having the right material things would make me happier and more popular. I am still clearing the debts now.

I regret working so hard that I didn’t get chance to say goodbye to my grandfather before he died... that made me realise life’s too short for working so much. I also regret, and this is a tough one as there are so many reasons NOT to regret it, spending almost 20 years with a narcissist...
my only other regret in life is living mine for other people and not putting myself first, but I have time to turn that around.