To ask what your biggest regret in life is?

[SylviaPlath1984]

Or even what you feel you might regret in the future if you don't do it soon?

I regret not taking school more seriously or trying harder, not making more of myself.

What about you?

I have too many regrets. My 2 main regrets are not sticking up for myself when I got bullied I. High school and eventually dropping out. My second is not doing everything I wanted prior to getting ill. I wanted to travel the world and explore then I got ill at 25 and my life’s been different ever since. I’m on constant medication that I get every month so can’t bulk prescribe it and therefore can’t go travelling or anything.

Wasting so much money....repeatedly...

I have so many. It is too late to fix any of them now though.

It makes me very reflective reading all these regrets people have. Sure I have some as well. But there is so much time left to live and you can still make positive changes. Take care everyone! X

Moving back to the UK from NZ...I will be regretting it forever.

Gosh life is so bloody difficult. I wonder if any of us actually get it completely right?

The decade I spent in a misogynistic sexually repressive religious cult.

The fact I was actively part of indoctrinating others into it.

The abusive marriage that resulted - mitigated by my resulting amazing 2 DDs, but still.

Changing my fucking surname.

I’m not sure as I do think every decision was possibly meant to be. I’ve always been sad that I never went away to university, I stayed at home and went to university in my nearby city, I always feel I missed out on that whole life. I also sort of regret not following through with becoming an air stewardess (I always wanted to travel for work) it was literally before starting my very first job with an airline that I moved abroad and went into teaching...I often wonder what would have been, my life would have turned out completely different,
I also wish I’d had much more fun (o had a lot! But if I could go back, I’d have so much more!) I wouldn’t worry so much, especially about a career at such a young age and I’d probably spend years bumming around the world 🤣
Finally, I wish I’d slept with more men whilst I was young and hot! I got with my Dp very young and therefore missed out on meeting lots of different men 🤔

Not loosing weight and getting fit when I was younger. I am now around 10 stone overweight and very unfit. So hard to do it now.

Not too much, but 1) staying with my first serious boyfriend for 10 years. 3 years would have been perfect. I wish I'd dated more men (not for sex reasons, I've slept casually with plenty!) but to experience more types of relationship during those years when you can experiment! 2) not living and working in new York in my 20s/30s for just a couple of years. Think that would have been fun and eye opening.

Not buying a house when I should have.
Believing my dad / best friend etc with their frankly shit financial advice.
Being a doormat for most of my life. Not any more.
Other than that no regrets.

Finishing with the loveliest man I ever knew. Think about him every day. He was the love of my life. The one who got away. We've both moved on and married other people but the what ifs remain. I guess we will never know.

Believe me uni is overrated.

Moving in with my 'd'p after living singly for many years. Why the hell did I give up my freedom and independence to come live with someone who behaves like he does.
I almost left at the end of last year but we went back into lockdown just before I could.

However, my plans are afoot...and I'll hopefully be gone to my own place come summer.

@Popcornbetty

Believe me uni is overrated.

Unfortunately, thanks to Blair, it's become a necessity for most half decent jobs as a degree is now often used to "filter" applicants, whether the job requires a degree or not.

Even if you have an equivalent professional qualification, the fact you didn't get a degree at a university goes against you sometimes. Loads of jobs say "graduate" as a minimum requirement, even for pretty low level admin work.

Not writing a book. I've thought for decades that I'd like to write one. Don't care if no one likes or reads it, or if it gets published. Just to complete one would be an achievement.

And not losing weight. I have lost some but not enough. I know life is easier and people are nicer to you when you are slim. I was slim for most of my adult life and had no idea how much meaner and more dismissive people are when you are fat until I gained weight.

@Derrymum123

Finishing with the loveliest man I ever knew. Think about him every day. He was the love of my life. The one who got away. We've both moved on and married other people but the what ifs remain. I guess we will never know.

Why did you do it? I'm intrigued by women who finish with lovely men. I spent my twenties trying to find one and when I did I stayed put!

Very few of these posts resonate with me because I am so much older than most of you, But I think of my son's first girlfriend She is a very talented artist and had offers from some of the best art schools and universities in the UK (way better than DS) but she had to be persuaded to take one up. She did, eventually, and while they are no longer a couple, I still think it's a bit harsh that DS (who is very commercial) is going to out earn her several times over during their lives, He is brave, and she isn't. She will teach; he will be successful.

I think probably regret not being nicer to my parents, grandparents and fellow children growing up. I hope I was a nicer person then my memory suggests! Otherwise nothing in particular. I would like to have my own home now but at least that’s something to aim for.

Not working harder at school, doing better with the education I was given and not focussing enough on working towards a decent career.

"Oh don't be so prickly. I've been an administrator in my time too and it's a perfectly ok job but that wasn't my point. It's important that girls are brought up knowing that they don't have to be a nurse/secretary/receptionist/beautician etc and that they should explore options that will earn them serious money."

Yes, but girls don't end up in those jobs because they were childhood dreams (apart from nurse maybe). It's usually because of not being able to be be a surgeon, manager, chartered accountant, etc.
Five year olds are free in their chosen dream jobs, but by 15 teenagers know the wage difference and limitations for different types of jobs.

Living so far away from my family.

I regret getting married and having kids at age 21/22. Of course I love my kids to death but I kind of wished I had waited and found the right person to have them with. I regret not leaving my husband sooner than I did.

I'm 40 and have never worked.

I regret having DC so young. Giving up further education and becoming my dcs carer when we found out they were disabled. I mean someone had to do it, I know that. I also know having both parents working is a massive luxury in carer households....... I just regret it being me and for so long.

@SylviaPlath1984

I posted this after musing my own regrets this morning, I never expected so many honest and thought provoking replies. Thank you to everyone who is commenting, you never know if something you've said will strike a chord with someone reading and help them avoid making the same mistakes ❤️

I think what the thread shows is that there's no point having regrets. You could not have known what the future was going to bring and there are plenty of regrets here that are the opposite of each other e.g. more focus on academics v less focus, more boys/drugs in youth v fewer. Whatever you do could end up being something you regret so there's no point worrying about it.