To ask what your biggest regret in life is?

[SylviaPlath1984]

Or even what you feel you might regret in the future if you don't do it soon?

I regret not taking school more seriously or trying harder, not making more of myself.

What about you?

[quote DishingOutDone]@Iamtheway me too with regard to leaving a bad marriage I was too scared about him having unsupervised access to DCs but then I think thousands of women have the same fear but they still manage to leave so
I blame myself. Still trying to leave and eldest is 20 next month. What have I done.[/quote]
@Countdown99: I saw this and thought of you! 😓 x

@goingpearshaped

I regret not being as paranoid as I should have been about monitoring both twins' hearbeats and mine whilst in hospital. They reassured me it was tricky to track all, turned out they did not say my daughter was at risk of a difficult position and she sadly died shortly after an crash section. If they had shared that info, it would have been so different.

Oh no.. this should not be your regret. Thereis no way you could have known. You are putting way too much on yourself. I am so sorry about your loss, you have nothing to feel bad about, xx

Opened the third bottle of wine...

Being careless with money when I was younger - not understanding the negative affects missing credit card payments has. I had a well paying career so could easily afford payments but I just kept forgetting, not thinking it was a big deal. Spent instead of saving & paying things off. Had lots of great holidays & memories but other then that, I wasted alot on clothes and pointless things!
My DH was the same, both had a poor credit history that's taken years to build up. We come from families where money was always scarce and no-one talked about it, so we buried our heads in the sand abit.

We finally bought our own house early last year but it was a tough 5/6 years struggling to save and pay things off whilst renting too.

We have learnt from it and we will definitely have conversations about money with our DC when she's older.

Other then that - no regrets.

I regret dropping out of specialist college at age 17.

I regret spending so much on credit cards - I was ridiculous honestly.

Otherwise, I am happy with where I am.

Not being brave enough when I was you get to train to be a veg. Had the brains but just chose differently.

To have taken more pictures with my mum as she died in January

Stressed less/spent more

Marrying XH.

Not leaving him sooner.

Though I can't be too sorry about marrying him, as I wouldn't have had the DC, who are the best thing I've ever done. But he's a knob.

I also wish I had qualified as something different, to which I could have returned after 15 years as a SAHM.

Getting married

Having kids

Not having ambition

Not getting therapy earlier. I am sure that my marriage would have survived. Several times I looked up counsellors with a vague idea I wasn't ok but never followed through.

Oooooh great question OP. No regrets because if I’d done things differently then I wouldn’t have my DC but...in terms of advice that I’ll be passing onto them: (1) intelligence only gets you so far; hard work, determination and perseverance are key; (2) (controversial but) think carefully about who you partner up with - are they your equal in every way? Are they as ambitious as you? Will they hold you back? What is the point in working super hard and getting a super job only to saddle yourself with a lazy / unambiguous partner? and (3) focus on what you enjoy at school and try and pursue something related as a career. I’m quite people focussed; I’m interested in people problems so why oh why did I read law and qualify at a corporate law firm??? I should have read medicine.

Unambitious

Not insisting that my parents and secondary school dealt properly with severe bullying. I started comp as a straight A* student and left with no GCSEs because of daily bullying, abuse, assault and theft by a small group of bullies. When I reported it, I was fobbed off with the usual "victim blaming" answers of "ignore them", "fight back", etc - i.e. making out it was my fault and I could do something about it. I can't believe that neither my teachers nor parents didn't see my performance deteriorate year by year (don't teachers check year on year results and flag up trends??).

It's left me with life long low esteem, being introverted, having literally no friends, etc., as I simply can't trust people.

And no, it wasn't just "banter", it was sustained abuse, particularly fag burns on my arms where I was held down, theft of my school bag/books, damage to my school bag and coat. All reported to teachers who simply didn't give a shit.

Not completing a Google job app in 2003 (back when they weren't evil).

I started it then thought "ah, they are a US company, they won't want to bother with overseas hiring".

A lot of the experimental stuff I was working on back then has since become mainstream so I think I might have been the type of person they were looking for.

I might not have got it of course, but I wish I'd at least tried.

Marrying ex DH.

Living further away from my parents than I wanted to (close to his instead) so I didn’t have their support when bringing up DCs. Not sure I would have chosen to have DCs at all if I had known what it would be like without them around.

Not starting running till I was 40 - love it now and wish I’d started earlier and travelled to places for it - feels there isn’t the time now to fit in all the running trips I would love to do.

Giving up my career when I couldn't cope with caring for my elderly, dying father and also supporting a DC with SEN. I was just overwhelmed and couldn't see a way through it all, so I just resigned. I never got back into proper work after that.

I wish I had asked to take compassionate leave to buy me some time and found help/other ways of managing everything.

SchadenfreudePersonified

Is that you, Edith

Oui. C'est moi. Sur le bord de Ouija. (sous le ciel de Paris)

Not really a regret but just what I wish I could change...

On my birthday one year I accepted a drink that turned out to be spiked. A lot of bad things happened after that and I was left with PTSD that seriously affects me every day, 10 years later.

I often think what would have happened if I just hadn't accepted that drink.

I have a wonderful life in the country I live in (not the UK), but I wish I hadn’t moved here because I miss my family everyday, even after ten years. But moving back now seems selfish because the rest of my family want to stay.

Spending a year of my life with a loser ex boyfriend. I knew he was wrong for me but I ignored my gut instinct. He was emotionally abusive and I lost myself. Thank god it all ended and he was only ever a boyfriend. If I hadn't of met him, I wouldn't have met my wonderfully kind husband so it all worked out well. Even so, I still wish I never agreed to a 2nd date when I knew deep down he was wrong. So I regret ignoring the red flags!

Oh kazzy . You were really let down. I’m so sorry.

Not getting Irish citizenship and a passport while living there forfifteen years. Never occurred to me we’d leave EU.
I was so homesick, so not sure I regret returning, but would definitely have thought twice if I’d known what the U.K. of 2021 was going to be like.

@Kazzyhoward

Not insisting that my parents and secondary school dealt properly with severe bullying. I started comp as a straight A* student and left with no GCSEs because of daily bullying, abuse, assault and theft by a small group of bullies. When I reported it, I was fobbed off with the usual "victim blaming" answers of "ignore them", "fight back", etc - i.e. making out it was my fault and I could do something about it. I can't believe that neither my teachers nor parents didn't see my performance deteriorate year by year (don't teachers check year on year results and flag up trends??).

It's left me with life long low esteem, being introverted, having literally no friends, etc., as I simply can't trust people.

And no, it wasn't just "banter", it was sustained abuse, particularly fag burns on my arms where I was held down, theft of my school bag/books, damage to my school bag and coat. All reported to teachers who simply didn't give a shit.

None of that is your fault or anything to regret on your part. Bullying wasn't taken seriously a few decades ago.

"This is such an important message to teach our daughters. Be a structural engineer, not the administrator.

Some of us 'administrators' are doing fine thanks and chose this path over the many others available because they wanted to do it."

I would have argued the exact opposite - that there's no point pointing out that certain jobs earn more than others because everybody knows this. I'm in an admin job and believe you me, hardly any of (there probably are some) are in it having had the opportunity to be an engineer etc. and chosen it. Most people take the job they can get in life - it's not a free choice.

I posted this after musing my own regrets this morning, I never expected so many honest and thought provoking replies. Thank you to everyone who is commenting, you never know if something you've said will strike a chord with someone reading and help them avoid making the same mistakes ❤️

studying law instead of history. Hated every second of my degree but didn't want to quit / be a failure. Then went on to do a masters degree and professional legal course. But didn't become a solicitor. I wasted my time, qualifications and money. What was I thinking !?!