Neighbour's afternoon nap

[hollytrees25]

Hi, we are a family of 4, two DS under 10. We live in a small semi, next door lives a lady, 66, by herself. We get on quite well. Till recently she complained she got woken up from her afternoon naps by the boys. She has nap everyday 2-5pm. Apparently her bedroom is at the front of the house facing front garden on ground floor.

Last week after school the boys' friend down the road came to play with a basketball. Two of them patted and bounced the ball on our drive. This must be quite loud and woke her up from her nap.

She came out to tell me that my son's friend played basketball on the drive and woke her up, (ie not my boys but their friend, think she was being nice) when I got home from work that day. I said sorry I will ask them not to bounce the ball.

This afternoon was good weather the friend came around with the basketball again, I asked the boys to play on the green across the road, they did, but got carried away and the friend bounced the ball on the street a few times, opposite the house, coupled with children's laughters and chattering, which are just high pitched. The lady came out and told the boys calmly 'You woke me up' to which DS said sorry immediately.

DH believes bending over backwards to get on with neighbors, he thinks we should bake her some cakes/cookies to make up. Part of me agree with him, however part of me thinks it's our front garden on a Saturday afternoon, the children were not being particularly disruptive, WWYD?

Why is someone only 66 sleeping for 3 hours in the afternoon? It's only just retirement age! Is she unwell?

@RedactedTaeFeck

I like hearing child noise from normal playing, running around, hide and seek, a bit of football, scooters and bikes, nerf wars, water pistols all perfectly fine.

I'm not elderly and don't have an afternoon nap.

BUT, bouncing basketballs in the street is really fucking annoying. I couldn't be more glad when the basketball net across the street from me got hit by the bin lorry.

Should be back gardens only, never the front or the street. However that wouldn't help someone who sleeps at the back of the house!

I don't think the op's next door neighbour has grounds for complaint, really. You don't expect grown up people to be sleeping in the afternoon (though I would, quite happily, given the opportunity), they are either shopping, houseworking or at work. The lady either naps in another room or buys good earplugs, assuming she doesn't have tinnitus.

@MathildasMum

Why is someone only 66 sleeping for 3 hours in the afternoon? It's only just retirement age! Is she unwell?

I can nap for England (am older than the neighbour).

If I'm out and about I'm fine, but if I'm sitting down I'm gone.

Nothing to do with being unwell

You can’t play basketball on grass 🏀.

I don't think the op's next door neighbour has grounds for complaint, really. You don't expect grown up people to be sleeping in the afternoon (though I would, quite happily, given the opportunity), they are either shopping, houseworking or at work. The lady either naps in another room or buys good earplugs, assuming she doesn't have tinnitus.

As I say, i have no issue with normal noise and I work from home so am usually working during the day when kids might be playing in the holidays and obviously when they've been off school so much.

I've gotten really close to saying something about the ball bouncing as a PP said, it's like water torture, especially if it's a few kids with a ball each. I didn't as, in principle as long as it's a reasonable time of the day, kids should be out playing. Usually just as i've reached the end of my tether, they've stopped.

Dreading the summer though if they get a new net - we live about 500 yards from a playground with basketball and football nets. the DC involved are all old enough to go there - no roads to cross.

I don’t think they should be playing on the front drive at all, especially bouncing a ball when she’s asleep. It will drive other neighbours up the wall too especially if they park on their drives and the ball could hit their car/window.

Back garden for playing.

I think ball games should be restricted to proper ball courts or football pitches though, not bounced off brickwork or roads or sent flying over neighbouring fences. It’s an incredibly annoying noise!

@HikeForward

I don’t think they should be playing on the front drive at all, especially bouncing a ball when she’s asleep. It will drive other neighbours up the wall too especially if they park on their drives and the ball could hit their car/window.

Back garden for playing.

I think ball games should be restricted to proper ball courts or football pitches though, not bounced off brickwork or roads or sent flying over neighbouring fences. It’s an incredibly annoying noise!

This.

Ball games. Be considerate. Lots of people working from home. Writing reports, and having to read document a and apply that to doc b, c and d. Some of those documents are 1 page. Some are 100 each.

The ball games can be incredibly distracting to anyone trying to do something like that.

The new parent up with their baby half the night, trying to doze when their baby dozes...

There is *no telling who is trying to sleep when.

No one is telling anyone when their kids shoud be allowed to play. What we *are saying is "Be kind". When someone makes it clear they are struggling, consider that.

Why does "Be kind" go out of the window when real life rears its head?

@CourchevelCornichon

I've RTFT, she's batshit, carry on as you were.

Kids need to be kids, and playing in the street, during the day, is totally reasonable.

If she needs that level of quiet, SHE needs to adjust. I suggest she needs to move to a more rural house, or wear earplugs.

I've RTFT, she's batshit, carry on as you were.

You're a MH professional? If not, don't even think of making comments about people's mental health. WTF happened to "be Kind"? Does that only apply when it's something you agree with?

Bouncing balls are torture to those enduring them.

Working, resting, anyone. That, and households aren't supposed to be mixing. Adults *or kids.

You don't expect grown up people to be sleeping in the afternoon (though I would, quite happily, given the opportunity), they are either shopping, houseworking or at work.

jesstan2 I am a grown-up person who has paid work, shopping and housework to do. I also have to have naps in the daytime because I have a long-term illness. It's not that unusual.

Nope, its a her problem! Children playing in the afternoon is not to be stopped because a full grown adult wants a nap! She needs earplugs if she doesn't want to be disturbed.

@jessstan2

You don't expect grown up people to be sleeping in the afternoon .

That comment is ignorance personified.

You don't expect grown up people to be sleeping in the afternoon

Have you never met anyone that works nights?

You don't expect grown up people to be sleeping in the afternoon

I’ll tell my DH that when he goes to bed in the morning after night shift. I have to say, we never whinge about noise when he’s on nights, because people are entitled to live their lives. I wouldn’t expect the neighbours to warn us about work on their house or anything. It’s life, tough.

Why does she need an afternoon nap, I’m over 60 and still got plenty of energy, you should put some leaflets for care homes or community volunteering through her door!!! 😂

@TomHardyAndMe

You don't expect grown up people to be sleeping in the afternoon

Have you never met anyone that works nights?

Yes of course and I am fond of an afternoon sleep, I said that. Most people, however, aren't sleeping in the afternoon.

You didn’t say most people. You said grown up people. Hospital wards aren’t staffed with children overnight.

The small estate I live on, is full of children playing. It’s the reason I bought a house here. My DS used to be out playing all the time. We now have a lot of new families and there are always children out playing - bikes, scooters footballs etc.

I like the odd nap on a Saturday/Sunday afternoon for an hour (I am not disabled or ill - I just need lots of sleep). I would never complain if the children out playing woke me up. It’s the afternoon for goodness sake and they are entitled to play. Most of my neighbours know if I am having a nap - I shut my front blind but they all know I would never, ever expect their children to be quiet.

Next time she complains, I would just say ‘it’s the afternoon and the children are playing - just move to a different room or get ear plugs.’

Seriously, if I ever told any of the children off near me for playing, then I would expect the parents to tell me to piss off and stop being so entitled.

I think if I was disturbed at the front of my house, I'd sleep at the back.

I would never choose to live anywhere that has children playing out in the street, never have. Back gardens, yes.

(I get your point, TomHardy, my bad)

For goodness sake.

Yes I’ve worked nights. I did it for two years. I did not expect the world to adjust for me. It was my responsibility to ensure I got my sleep. My neighbours had building work done during that time and I still didn’t complain!

I live on a busy road. I invested in blackout blinds, ear plugs and a face mask that I could connect to my phone to play relaxation music.

3 hour nap??!! Swap your kids for the 2 girls who live near me who scream/cry/shout their heads off in the garden all summer along with their mum who gees them up to do it! Think she's being a bit unreasonable really.

I often work nights and sleep during the day. I would never expect people to be quiet during the day because i am sleeping. I just close the windows and curtains and wear ear plugs! Kids playing is a normal daytime sound.

@Bunnyrun5 and? Everyone is different. Invisible illnesses? I'm 36 and have to nap after work to be able to function at all, it is what it is

It's difficult trying to combine children's normal daily life with an elderly neighbour. But YANBU. Children like to play outside and it's not an antisocial hour!

Why is she napping 2-5 anyway. SIBU

66 is not elderly!