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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is makeup a form of catfishing?

265 replies

qwertykeyboards · 27/03/2021 13:11

Okay hear me out. Before I start this thread I just want to say I’m NOT bashing women who wear makeup - I myself love makeup and wear it regularly. I’m just really interested in other peoples opinions.

Lately I’ve just been thinking about whether a full face of makeup could amount to cat fishing of some sort. I myself look completely different when I have a full face of makeup on. In fact when I wear makeup I am constantly catcalled and stared at by men. Whereas when I go out with absolutely nothing on that doesn’t happen as much. Sometimes I even think, “if only you saw me when I woke up this morning!” 😂

I was speaking about this with a couple of my friends who admitted that their boyfriends have yet to see them without makeup! That’s crazy to me! What if the person you’re with ends up totally not into your fresh face and the makeup kind of tricked them into thinking you look like something that in reality took a bunch of makeup and an hour at the mirror to achieve.

Just a thought.

YABU - don’t be so stupid!
YANBU - to an extent makeup can put out a false image

OP posts:
Alsohuman · 27/03/2021 13:44

@emilyfrost

YANBU. Make up is very fake and I feel sorry for those who wear it; they’re not comfortable in their own skin and don’t like their natural look. It’s very sad.
Wow. How incredibly patronising.

I feel sorry for people who don’t wear it, they have no interest in looking their best. It’s very sad.

PeggyArmstrong · 27/03/2021 13:45

In fact when I wear makeup I am constantly catcalled and stared at by men. Whereas when I go out with absolutely nothing on that doesn’t happen as much.

Sorry OP but this really tickled me!

Mammyloveswine · 27/03/2021 13:45

Sorry op lol just teasing!

To answer your question I wear a full face of make up everyday but my make up is very natural compared to the make up looks I see younger women wear (which I love but in my mid 30s doesn't love me).

When I go out out (obv not at the min!) I wear a push bra, Spanx, false tan, high heels, lashes, much more make up and hair extensions..and I feel GREAT!

My husband does sometimes look a bit shocked and remarks "wow you look nice!" as he is used to be at home without make up (I tend not to bother if we are just in the house).

But I'm definitely more comfortable not wearing make up as I get older! Or not wearing as much generally day to day!

RaininSummer · 27/03/2021 13:49

I understand what you mean OP though maybe catfishing isnt the right term. I have thought before about a lad meeting a girl and at some point the make up, contouring, fake lashes and nails, tattooed brows, chicken fillets in bra, shape wear etc comes off. He would be a bit amazed no doubt.

Original poster
qwertykeyboards · 27/03/2021 13:51

@PeggyArmstrong

In fact when I wear makeup I am constantly catcalled and stared at by men. Whereas when I go out with absolutely nothing on that doesn’t happen as much.

Sorry OP but this really tickled me!

Glad to have amused you Grin
OP posts:
Original poster
qwertykeyboards · 27/03/2021 13:52

@Mammyloveswine Grin

OP posts:
emilyfrost · 27/03/2021 13:52

Wow. How incredibly patronising.

I feel sorry for people who don’t wear it, they have no interest in looking their best. It’s very sad.

@Alsohuman 😂

I feel sorry for people who don’t wear it, they have no interest in looking fake.

Fixed that for you Wink

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 27/03/2021 13:53

It's only catfishing if you're an incel/MRA/misogynist.

Plates · 27/03/2021 13:54

Yuck! Sounds like you like being catcalled Envy < not envy

Turtleturtle81 · 27/03/2021 13:55

@qwertykeyboards

Everyone is missing the point Hmm
No, it’s just you.
Original poster
qwertykeyboards · 27/03/2021 13:57

@Plates

Yuck! Sounds like you like being catcalled Envy
Oh give me a break. I was making the point of the obvious difference in wearing makeup as opposed to when I don’t. Didn’t imply that I enjoy the gross and perverted comments/whistles.
OP posts:
Original poster
qwertykeyboards · 27/03/2021 13:58

@Turtleturtle81 get back in your shell “turtle” Wink

OP posts:
Happycat1212 · 27/03/2021 13:59

You must be wearing a lot though to look totally different; I only wear foundation eye liner and brow pencil and I don’t look “completely different” most women that wear make up don’t look like a completely different person without it

Goldenbear · 27/03/2021 14:00

When I met my DH mid 00's I don't think make up was as professional so it wasn't possible to dupe him. I would only wear a bit of mascara anyway so not a great difference. I only used to wear it to darken my eyelashes not lengthen them as they are already quite long. I was a teenager in the 90's and certainly in my circle of friends you just didn't bother, unless it was deliberately showy for a night out or festival event so bright coloured eyeshadow with star glitter in. It was more about the natural thing. I am therefore not used to wearing much. I would say that I look younger without mascara on now I'm early 40's. So in answer to your question surely it depends how much and whether your attracted to that look as a man.

Popcornbetty · 27/03/2021 14:01

Make up enhances the features you already have so i would say yabu. If somebody is wearing enough makeup to look dramatically different you'd definately be able to tell!

Original poster
qwertykeyboards · 27/03/2021 14:01

@Happycat1212

You must be wearing a lot though to look totally different; I only wear foundation eye liner and brow pencil and I don’t look “completely different” most women that wear make up don’t look like a completely different person without it
I wouldn’t say I wear a lot but I do notice a big difference. As I said that’s probably me being totally insecure about my natural face.
OP posts:
CounsellorTroi · 27/03/2021 14:02

Some people do look drastically different with a full face of make up, to the extent they are unrecognisable bare faced. I'm not one of them but then again I have only ever worn a little very basic make up. Never contoured or put false eyelashes on or anything.

Original poster
qwertykeyboards · 27/03/2021 14:03

@Goldenbear

When I met my DH mid 00's I don't think make up was as professional so it wasn't possible to dupe him. I would only wear a bit of mascara anyway so not a great difference. I only used to wear it to darken my eyelashes not lengthen them as they are already quite long. I was a teenager in the 90's and certainly in my circle of friends you just didn't bother, unless it was deliberately showy for a night out or festival event so bright coloured eyeshadow with star glitter in. It was more about the natural thing. I am therefore not used to wearing much. I would say that I look younger without mascara on now I'm early 40's. So in answer to your question surely it depends how much and whether your attracted to that look as a man.
Interesting point. I do think social media does play a part in today’s attitudes towards beauty/makeup.
OP posts:
CounsellorTroi · 27/03/2021 14:03

Never even worn eyeliner only eyeshadow and mascara.

IEat · 27/03/2021 14:03

So we should all go around naked and unshaven. On the basis of your argument clothes could be a form of catfishing. No shaving means others don’t see the real you. Maybe we don’t want others to see us as nature intended. Bring on the foundation, false eyelashes, bra , pants, hair dye, straightners, curlers, eye brow plucking

Happycat1212 · 27/03/2021 14:03

I guess it’s more of the fake eyelashes and contouring stuff then which I’ve never done. I can’t stand fake eye lashes I’ve never seen anyone look nice wearing them!

Changemaname1 · 27/03/2021 14:04

No I get you op

I say this as someone who wears make up and also has botox and filler so I aren’t judging or laying any blame at women’s feet etc

Some people look insanely different with make up , lashes hair etc done . Most relationships begin as a purely physical reaction whether people like to say that’s shallow or not . If someone looks like a completely different person then yes it could cause issues

tangerinelollipop · 27/03/2021 14:05

YABU OP

There's nothing wrong with natural looking make up which makes you look better. I personally don't like it when it's too heavy or too obvious, but it's a question of preference, I wouldn't criticize those who do

HowManyToes · 27/03/2021 14:06

@BriarsHollow

This just sounds like you’re trying to lay yet more responsibility and blame at the door of women.
My first thought too.
Goldenbear · 27/03/2021 14:06

To add to that as that's not a boast- 'younger' but not necessarily better, I think make up generally needs younger skin than I have now to carry it off. For me and friends late 30s/early 40's more about the skin routine now, using creams or oils etc. That are not abrasive, eating the right stuff for the glow, basically quite dull stuff that I didn't have to think about even 5 years ago!