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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is makeup a form of catfishing?

265 replies

qwertykeyboards · 27/03/2021 13:11

Okay hear me out. Before I start this thread I just want to say I’m NOT bashing women who wear makeup - I myself love makeup and wear it regularly. I’m just really interested in other peoples opinions.

Lately I’ve just been thinking about whether a full face of makeup could amount to cat fishing of some sort. I myself look completely different when I have a full face of makeup on. In fact when I wear makeup I am constantly catcalled and stared at by men. Whereas when I go out with absolutely nothing on that doesn’t happen as much. Sometimes I even think, “if only you saw me when I woke up this morning!” 😂

I was speaking about this with a couple of my friends who admitted that their boyfriends have yet to see them without makeup! That’s crazy to me! What if the person you’re with ends up totally not into your fresh face and the makeup kind of tricked them into thinking you look like something that in reality took a bunch of makeup and an hour at the mirror to achieve.

Just a thought.

YABU - don’t be so stupid!
YANBU - to an extent makeup can put out a false image

OP posts:
moochingtothepub · 27/03/2021 13:31

Yabu though I don't understand how you can have more than a very casual relationship before they see you without make up! Within 2-3 hours mine is gone, and funny enough I don't sleep in make up Grin

Original poster
qwertykeyboards · 27/03/2021 13:32

@Lbnc2021

Well my phone face recognition might agree. I only wear make up a couple of times a week and set it up first time when I had make up on. Had to reset it when it didn’t recognise me without make up 🤦🏻‍♀️😂
😂😂😂😂😂
OP posts:
PrincessMaryaBolkonskaya · 27/03/2021 13:33

Hmmmm I myself wouldn’t rate how attractive I am by the amount of men that catcall me or stare at me. Because those things don’t make me feel good about myself. They make me feel icky.

I guess you’re specifically referring to that very face altering, thick make up that some people do? I don’t think it’s a form of catfishing, it’s what they look like with make up on!

Original poster
qwertykeyboards · 27/03/2021 13:34

By the way guys your comments are making me feel BETTER about my makeup. I guess the original post derives from my own insecurities! and as many other posters have said, society unfortunately does play a part in often feeling the need to conform to the unrealistic beauty standards.

OP posts:
User133847 · 27/03/2021 13:34

Catfishing is the wrong word.

A full face of make up, for example in your OLD photos, is the equivalent of the bald man who wears a hat in all his, or always a full beard to cover a weak jaw/chin.

Mother87 · 27/03/2021 13:34

Regardless of catfishing... My DS23 comments every so often about how girls/women look "completely different without make-up and look much better with it" - I KNOW there's something not right with this...And obviously he's seen me without/with (not a 'heavy' make-up wearer) but I DO feel better/look better with some make-up - but that's come from years of conditioning/social mores anyway. Am only happy I'm not of the instagram/tiktok generation as I think there's far more pressure to conform to certain 'perfect' stereotypes

ClarkeGriffin · 27/03/2021 13:35

I can kind of see what you mean, but it's not quite the same. Your friends really need to accept that their boyfriends aren't stupid though. They will know they are wearing make up and you shouldn't be scared of someone who you want to spend your life with seeing your make up free face. It's not a great base for a relationship if you can't be honest with them about something like that. Better for your self esteem too if you can be confident around your partner.

But I very rarely wear make up. My partner has only seen me with make up on once. I'm not confident about my looks though, I'm just lazy to be honest. Takes too long to bother and I own a horse so getting covered in dirt eventually makes it seem pointless.

Original poster
qwertykeyboards · 27/03/2021 13:35

@Mother87

Regardless of catfishing... My DS23 comments every so often about how girls/women look "completely different without make-up and look much better with it" - I KNOW there's something not right with this...And obviously he's seen me without/with (not a 'heavy' make-up wearer) but I DO feel better/look better with some make-up - but that's come from years of conditioning/social mores anyway. Am only happy I'm not of the instagram/tiktok generation as I think there's far more pressure to conform to certain 'perfect' stereotypes
Great point!
OP posts:
StoneofDestiny · 27/03/2021 13:35

I've never worn makeup, detest anything on my face, even creams (occasionally tint my eyebrows though). Never stopped me being catcalled when I was younger. I've just never got the makeup thing at all and find it bizarre anybody would find themselves unpresentable without it - as for not letting your partner see you without it - geez.

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 27/03/2021 13:36

I don't think it's catfishing, no. You can certainly look very, very different with it on though.

I remember being really jealous of a girl in school when I was like 12 because I thought she was really pretty, until one day she came into school without makeup for the first time ever and I realised she was actually average at bestShock

Have people seen those pictures of women without makeup and then with makeup? They're really not the same people.
And I think there was a Chinese guy who divorced his wife when he finally saw her without makeup.

MiddlesexGirl · 27/03/2021 13:36

I think most people can tell that someone with a full face of makeup does not look the same without it.

I do feel sorry for those who wear so much that they look like a completely different person and are bound to the daily routine required to achieve it.

RuggeryBuggery · 27/03/2021 13:36

What about my holdy-in underwear? 🤔

ThatsNotTheTeaHunty · 27/03/2021 13:37

I don't wear make up to look like the same person.

Most men who say we catfish with make up are the ones with small dicks.

WhySoSensitive · 27/03/2021 13:37

@User133847

Catfishing is the wrong word.

A full face of make up, for example in your OLD photos, is the equivalent of the bald man who wears a hat in all his, or always a full beard to cover a weak jaw/chin.

This. It’s giving a different version of yourself.

I rarely wear makeup now but when I first met DH I wouldn’t even leave the house to walk the dogs without make up on.
I look like two very very different people, when I stopped wearing makeup at work I got a lot of comments on how different/sick/pale/insert whatever here I looked.

Original poster
qwertykeyboards · 27/03/2021 13:38

Before other posters come along let me just say I regret the use of the word “catfish” !!! Totally missed the mark with that but didn’t know what to refer it to! Also have heard people in the past using the word catfish to describe people who look completely different in person than to their pictures so I guess that’s where that came from.

OP posts:
LibertyMole · 27/03/2021 13:38

No. It isn’t cat fishing.

Part of what attracts people to each other is how groomed or styled they are going to look on a day to day basis.

Some men want to date women who are going to wear very heavy makeup on a day to day basis.

User133847 · 27/03/2021 13:39

@JesusIsAnyNameFree

I don't think it's catfishing, no. You can certainly look very, very different with it on though.

I remember being really jealous of a girl in school when I was like 12 because I thought she was really pretty, until one day she came into school without makeup for the first time ever and I realised she was actually average at bestShock

Have people seen those pictures of women without makeup and then with makeup? They're really not the same people.
And I think there was a Chinese guy who divorced his wife when he finally saw her without makeup.

It's like a mask.
sunshineandshowers21 · 27/03/2021 13:39

@emilyfrost

YANBU. Make up is very fake and I feel sorry for those who wear it; they’re not comfortable in their own skin and don’t like their natural look. It’s very sad.
what a ridiculous thing to say. i personally like wearing make up. i do it for myself. i couldn’t care less what anyone else thinks. as do lots of other women! i also like my natural look. and i’m very comfortable in my own skin, thanks. you’re not better than anyone else because you don’t wear make up, you know 🙄
Mammyloveswine · 27/03/2021 13:40

"Constantly cat-called and stared at by men"...Samantha Brick is that you?

Original poster
qwertykeyboards · 27/03/2021 13:40

@JesusIsAnyNameFree

I don't think it's catfishing, no. You can certainly look very, very different with it on though.

I remember being really jealous of a girl in school when I was like 12 because I thought she was really pretty, until one day she came into school without makeup for the first time ever and I realised she was actually average at bestShock

Have people seen those pictures of women without makeup and then with makeup? They're really not the same people.
And I think there was a Chinese guy who divorced his wife when he finally saw her without makeup.

I have actually heard of that story of the Chinese man 😭😭😭
OP posts:
BriarsHollow · 27/03/2021 13:40

@emilyfrost

YANBU. Make up is very fake and I feel sorry for those who wear it; they’re not comfortable in their own skin and don’t like their natural look. It’s very sad.
You’ve tried a bit too hard here, even for your normal standards.
Original poster
qwertykeyboards · 27/03/2021 13:41

@Mammyloveswine

"Constantly cat-called and stared at by men"...Samantha Brick is that you?
Ffs 😂
OP posts:
blisstwins · 27/03/2021 13:42

No cat fishing, but I look pretty similar with or without makeup. I in the internet there are people who look like entirely different people and I have wondered how that works, but to each his own.

LibertyMole · 27/03/2021 13:42

A similar situation would be a tattoo.

If you are attracted to men with tattoos you know the tattoos are not natural but you still like them. Some men just like heavy makeup on women.

BriarsHollow · 27/03/2021 13:43

There’s lots of posters here (the ones criticising or even mocking those who wear make up) who are presumably talking from a blindly/wilfully ignorant place of no facial skin conditions and healthy skin.