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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

‘D’H has announced that Covid doesn’t exist.

423 replies

OutOfLine · 27/03/2021 11:05

Name changed for this.

One year since lockdown 1 began and DH has announced that Covid does not exist.

The illness is ‘no different to flu’, he is not having the vaccine because ‘he doesn’t need to’ and if he falls ill with any symptoms listed as Covid he will not be taking a test and will phone in sick with backache or some such nonsense.

AIBU to think WTF?
Apparently he has thought this all along and decided to let us know as he is sick of ‘having his freedom taken away from him’.

What started as a chat about weekly testing ended up with this.

I don’t know what to do with this information. All year (pre. weekly testing /vaccine rollout) he’s just gone along with it all.

So, along with AIBU to think he has lost his mind, WWYD or say in this situation?

OP posts:
Hesma · 27/03/2021 20:01

He is a knob! I survived Covid and it definitely isn’t “nice different to the flu” ... serves him right I’f he gets it although I wouldn’t wish that heartache on you OP. Sending you a big hug 💐

Original poster
OutOfLine · 27/03/2021 20:07

There is a middle ground Mona - That’s the point.
I don’t have a hand washing, shopping bleaching spreadsheet on the wall, I have worked throughout and due to my job social distancing is zero but there is a vaccine and there are tests and I take advantage of what Scientists are doing for us.
Denying that there is a virus is a bit too much the other way.

OP posts:
Original poster
OutOfLine · 27/03/2021 20:08

@MonaCorona

We crossed, *@OutOfLine*

If that's the case, why are you and your husband at loggerheads over it? Why can't you laugh about your mutually extreme positions? Why can't you meet in the middle?

I consider myself to be in the middle. DH is teetering on the edge (of sanity) I believe.
OP posts:
Scottishskifun · 27/03/2021 20:10

Please show your DH my post.....

My family tested positive on Thursday as there was a case in my sons nursery.
Wednesday night I had a tickly throat no cough nothing.
Thursday afternoon I started with a cough bit tired. Thursday night my lungs felt like they were on fire and I had a constricted feeling in my chest.
By Friday lunchtime I had a fever of 39 with paracetamol, my oxygen levels had dropped from 99 to 93/94 (I have an oximeter so measuring at home) fire lungs ten times worse and short on breath.

I have now been put on steroids to help my lungs as well as a stronger inhaler.
Only a few hours ago I got out of bed to try to help my DH with my toddler (all covid positive) I had an asthma attack after 8 stairs. Helped back to bed and inhalers used.

I'm 34 years old, I walk every day, paddleboard, ski and enjoy going up mountains often carrying my son in a backpack. I'm not over weight and have usually very controlled mild asthma. I can't even walk the 10 paces to my bathroom without being out of breath and having to use the wall for support. It takes me 2-3 minutes after doing so and being back in bed to even say a few words.
I can't even lay down in bed as my oxygen levels drop too much so have to try and sleep propped up.

My son thankfully has no symptoms and my DH has mild symptoms.
I didn't think I would fall into the moderate symptoms catagory verging on serious at points until steroid treatment kicked in due to my age and general fitness and health. Definitely wrong there!

This virus is like roulette for some no issues but for others it hits hard even the likes of me who don't fall into high risk groups.

If your DH still argues it doesn't exist then sorry but he's a massive dick!

Mmn654123 · 27/03/2021 20:15

[quote bearandowl]Don't be so hasty in dismissing your husband's views. There are highly qualified doctors with views similar to your husband's. Most surprising perhaps is Dr Geert Vanden Bossche a very eminent vaccine specialist who has called for all covid vaccination to stop. He says the vaccine teaches the virus how to mutate and to become stronger and more deadly. dryburgh.com/geert-vanden-bossche-open-letter-to-who-halt-all-covid-19-mass-vaccination/[/quote]
He’s not an eminent virologist. He authored a handful of low quality papers over 20 years ago. How do you conclude eminence??!

PurpleMustang · 27/03/2021 20:17

So if he does fall ill, with covid or 'flu' is he saying then as its fake he will refuse NHS treatment? I think if you refuse a vaccine it should be an automatic refusal of treatment if you do get it. I would glue his butt down to watch Kate Garraways documentary on her husband. Sorry but I would (and have) lose respect for people that talk like him.

VestaTilley · 27/03/2021 20:22

Oh dear- sounds like he’s been reading the crazy stuff on the internet.

I’m not sure there’s much you can do other than try and reason with him, show him WHO articles and links to academic websites/Govt Covid site.

What does he think all these people died of?! I had it in Jan- it was grim, and is most definitely not ‘flu!

pointythings · 27/03/2021 20:23

Geert vandenBossche is a has-been who is using COVID to get himself some fresh publicity. His views are endorsed by such eminent anti-vaxx organisations as Children's Health Defense. He could tell me the sun was warm and I wouldn't believe him.

Doctors are not necessarily the best experts on vaccines - the health scientists whose vaccine uptake is high are.

Mmn654123 · 27/03/2021 20:24

@KFB1978

Those with the best understanding of the pharmacology of the vaccine are the least likely to take it - doctors.

www.bmj.com/content/372/bmj.n460

Across all staff, take up was lowest among doctors (57%, 1721 of 3001), and highest among administrative and executive staff (73%, 2537 of 3465) and healthcare scientists (73%, 634 of 871).

Quoted out of context.

We know BAME individuals are less likely to accept vaccination for many reasons. And young people less likely too as they see themselves as low risk.

In the particular hospital this study is reporting, most doctors are young and BAME.

Doctors nationally are not rejecting the vaccine in large numbers.

Be more careful how you present information. Your post was irresponsible.

VictoriaBun · 27/03/2021 20:27

My dh whilst not denying covid exists , was saying there is no way he is having the az vaccine as it is not as good as the Pfizer one and he wasn't about to become a guinea pig for the UK government.
We are 5 weeks into our first as jab

VictoriaBun · 27/03/2021 20:27

AZ jab !

Umbivalent · 27/03/2021 20:37

@MonaCorona

We crossed, *@OutOfLine*

If that's the case, why are you and your husband at loggerheads over it? Why can't you laugh about your mutually extreme positions? Why can't you meet in the middle?

How can you "meet in the middle" when one side is nonsense? If her DH was saying the earth is flat, would you suggest that she "meet him in the middle"?!
MintyMabel · 27/03/2021 20:38

I’d kick him out if OH started with this bullshit.

Someone so willing to ignore science to suit what he wants would have no place in my life. Someone so lacking in critical thinking is not someone I could spend much time with, let alone be married to.

Umbivalent · 27/03/2021 20:38

And how, @MonaCorona, is believing that Covid exists an "extreme position"????!!!

MintyMabel · 27/03/2021 20:43

Again, a classic case of someone thinking that "objecting to the loss of freedom" = "Covid denial".

Or, a classic case of reading the OP where she said her DH says Covid doesn’t exist.

Gin4thewin4 · 27/03/2021 20:53

There actually is more deaths linked to the flu worldwide before there was a flu vaccination (50million)
Covid has killed 2.77million worldwide.....

That is just info from a quick google search. Whether its actually right or not I don't know.

I do remember seeing a lot of posts online stating that the flu is just as deadly.

Regardless, I got the jab and do think your husband should do his bit.

KFB1978 · 27/03/2021 20:54

Enjoy your vaccines, boosters, no doubt further lockdowns and your divorces lol

MonaCorona · 27/03/2021 20:57

@Umbivalent

And how, *@MonaCorona*, is believing that Covid exists an "extreme position"????!!!
Obviously, that isn't an extreme position, any more than saying that Measles doesn't exist would an an extreme position.

However, the problem with Covid is that it has become loaded with so many hysterical and destructive views that it would almost be tempting to deny its existence, however bananas that might be.

I stand by my theory that the OP's husband has been harangued by the media and the people around him to such an extent that he has lashed out, a bit like an angry toddler.

Denying the existence of Covid is a non-starter. However, being angry and frustrated and lashing out verbally at all the things that have happened as a result of Covid is perfectly reasonable.

I would actually find it impossible to be married to anyone who badgered me about having a vaccine or following the rules. That doesn't mean I am the equivalent of a flat-Earth-er.

Sparklesocks · 27/03/2021 21:23

@KFB1978

Enjoy your vaccines, boosters, no doubt further lockdowns and your divorces lol
This made me laugh out loud at how overwrought it is.
PersonaNonGarter · 27/03/2021 22:15

OP, you sound very sane and level. And on this one there is no ‘grey area’. There are facts and you have them right and he has them wrong.

But he does sound like this is a desperate response to feeling very powerless. He needs to believe other people are stupid/beneath him.

StanfordPines · 27/03/2021 22:31

I think the problem with Covid is that at the level that most of us experience it it isn’t that different to flu. I had Covid two weeks ago and am still recovering. Had this not been a pandemic and I just got ill I would have put it down to flu or similar. I possibly wouldn’t have even bothered the doctor.

If Covid had a unique symptom, like a very obvious rash, your ears go blue or you bleed out of your eyes (like we see in films about pandemics) then there would be no chance to brush it off as something else.

ilovebagpuss · 27/03/2021 23:11

Type him out a little card to carry to give to A & E that says “don’t treat me if I develop serious Covid I don’t believe in it”
Laminate it and make him keep it in his wallet.

kirlali · 27/03/2021 23:53

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Original poster
OutOfLine · 28/03/2021 05:23

Mona: I would actually find it impossible to be married to anyone who badgered me about having a vaccine or following the rules. That doesn't mean I am the equivalent of a flat-Earth-er.
I think I made it clear upthread that I don’t badger anyone to ‘follow the rules’. DH has been compliant with Government rules & restrictions throughout.
I also haven’t badgered him to have the vaccine or do tests and again, that is clear from my previous posts too!
He can do what he likes but he can’t tell me that it’s all been for nothing because ‘Covid doesn’t exist’.

OP posts:
Original poster
OutOfLine · 28/03/2021 05:25

@PersonaNonGarter

OP, you sound very sane and level. And on this one there is no ‘grey area’. There are facts and you have them right and he has them wrong.

But he does sound like this is a desperate response to feeling very powerless. He needs to believe other people are stupid/beneath him.

Control in a situation where we are all powerless. Yes, I think this is very true.
OP posts:
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