Aggressive cyclist encounter

[UrbanRambler]

For background, I'm overweight and do a daily walk, to control my weight and for my mental health (I am prone to depression and anxiety). I walk in my local area (city suburb, mixture of nice and not so nice areas). Over the last year I've increased my walk from 2 miles to 5 miles a day, and this has helped me to lose 1 stone. I'm still a stone overweight, but being tall I carry it reasonable well.

Walking during Covid has become trickier, as the pavements and parks have been busier with more people taking walks, but most people are polite and considerate. All good. I have no issues with pedestrians, but there are a lot more cyclists on the pavements now, and some of them have no consideration for walkers. When they approach from behind, you often can't hear them until they're very close, which can be unnerving.

Today I was walking along a wide pavement (around 8ft) when a cyclist zoomed past me at speed, brushing my shoulder as he went by. He came from behind, and really made me jump, and I muttered "twat" under my breath (it was a reflex action... I wasn't meaning to challenge him, it just came out). Trouble was, he heard it! He stopped a few feet ahead of me, turned around and shouted "Fuck off!" then stood there, glaring at me. He looked about 16 -18, and full of rage. I tried to diffuse things a bit, and calmly said "Well, you were going quite fast, and were too close... some consideration would be nice" then he shouted "Fuck off you c*t!" I was scared, but wasn't going to show it. I said "There's no need for that language... you were going too fast" then he said "Fuck off! Anyway - what do you weigh - about 20 stone?! Fuck off, you c*t!" He then cycled off.

I am rethinking my walking route now, and feel worried about seeing him again. I was quite pleased at my progress, but now I feel shaken and unsure about my walks. The weight comment was just a cheap shot from a stroppy teenager, but he looked me up and down with such contempt that it made me feel absolutely gross. (I don't mean that to be disrespectful to anyone else struggling with their weight, some overweight women are beautiful but I'm rather plain).

I know IWBU and stupid to say that word out loud, and brought trouble on myself - maybe I need to tape my mouth shut in future! But for context, in the southern town where I live, the word "twat" just means "idiot", rather than the ruder meaning that it has in other places.

I can't get this out of my head and feel anxious about it all. I wish there were rear view mirrors for pedestrians... maybe I should just carry a small mirror? AIBU to ask for any suggestions or thoughts about this?

For those implying that I deserved all I got because I used a swear word, I would point out that in the south of England the word "twat" is used to mean "idiot", and does not carry the same meaning as "c**t". I did not shout the word, I spoke it involuntarily as he made me jump. When he stopped and turned on me it was immediately obvious that he was a nasty type, so I spoke really quietly and calmly, trying not to provoke him further, trying to reason with him. I picked the wrong person to call a twat, but I honestly think even if I'd just said "you're too close" I would have got an aggressive response, he just had an entitled attitude.

It's worrying that so many people have experienced similar things... I don't know what the answer is. This type of behaviour, along with dropping litter and spitting, is all part of the anti social behaviour that is depressingly common. Maybe there should be something on the school curriculum, to teach people how to be good citizens?

I like the idea of carrying a stick to swing along beside me, as a sort of personal space protector. It would be great if I could be shielded by an invisible forcefield, like they have in Star Trek... that would be mighty handy, especially during a pandemic. 😊 I've done my walk today, but did avoid that pavement, and was looking behind me a lot more frequently. This memory will fade and my weight will drop if I persist with my routine, but he will always be a twat.

I hate cyclists on pavements, especially when they are coming from behind me and think that they can ring a bell (or worse, blow a whistle -which I have had several times) and think I should jump out the way. They get angry and upset with me when I don’t. The problem is that I am deaf and have no clue that they are there when they approach from behind. And, why would I expect them to be there? Legally they should be in the road. They have absolutely no consideration that not everybody knows to or can get out of their way when they are riding at speed. I have had a couple of near (and potentially nasty) misses.

He sounds like a fucking twat so you weren't wrong

I often cycle on a shared use cycle path the etiquette is the cyclist slows down and rings bell or shouts “coming through” and the pedestrians keep left so space for cyclists. Lots of smiling nodding and “no after you” etc. This broadly seems to work quite well.

My bug bear is bloody dogs running about - dh came off his bike nasty cuts and bruises to avoid an off lead dog on busy cycle path at commute time 🙄🙄 and got a mouthful from the owner!

You met a person who insulted you. You've never met them before and you prob never will again. Move on.

For those implying that I deserved all I got because I used a swear word, I would point out that in the south of England the word "twat" is used to mean "idiot"

Sorry but that’s just rubbish. I live in the ‘south of England’ and twat is much more offensive than idiot or anything similar.

It's not like calling someone a cunt though

Also SE

For those implying that I deserved all I got because I used a swear word, I would point out that in the south of England the word "twat" is used to mean "idiot"

Umm, no it's really not!

@Quirrelsotherface

For those implying that I deserved all I got because I used a swear word, I would point out that in the south of England the word "twat" is used to mean "idiot"

Umm, no it's really not!

It is where I grew up. It is on a par with wanker and bellend. Not something you’d say to a child but not really a swear.

Just think... You can lose the weight, he will be a twat forever!

Surely no one is meant to cycle on the pavement at whatever speed?

@Quirrelsotherface

Calling someone a year is going to to get their back up, especially at that age when they are mostly all puffed up ego. YABU to have used that language first, so can't really complain about his language thereafter.

I should think it was an automatic reflex.

It's bloody painful being hit by a bike and it must have felt like a very close shave

Bikes are not for pavements unless they're clearly marked and then pedestrians can be aware to watch out for them

• It is where I grew up. It is on a par with wanker and bellend. Not something you’d say to a child but not really a swear.*

I'd have said it was milder than those, more like just a twit or twerp really.

It's a word which did have a vulgar original meaning of 'vulva' but that seemed to have generally passed out of knowledge by the time Browning misunderstood its meaning as 'nuns headgear' and used it in a poem. He thus inadvertently caused it to be included in dictionaries thereafter. And it's considered less offensive than other swear words for film certification.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twat

@Pedallleur

You met a person who insulted you. You've never met them before and you prob never will again. Move on.

Fair point.

I'm grateful for the feedback on this thread, it's good to see things from a different perspective.