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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aggressive cyclist encounter

165 replies

UrbanRambler · 26/03/2021 23:37

For background, I'm overweight and do a daily walk, to control my weight and for my mental health (I am prone to depression and anxiety). I walk in my local area (city suburb, mixture of nice and not so nice areas). Over the last year I've increased my walk from 2 miles to 5 miles a day, and this has helped me to lose 1 stone. I'm still a stone overweight, but being tall I carry it reasonable well.

Walking during Covid has become trickier, as the pavements and parks have been busier with more people taking walks, but most people are polite and considerate. All good. I have no issues with pedestrians, but there are a lot more cyclists on the pavements now, and some of them have no consideration for walkers. When they approach from behind, you often can't hear them until they're very close, which can be unnerving.

Today I was walking along a wide pavement (around 8ft) when a cyclist zoomed past me at speed, brushing my shoulder as he went by. He came from behind, and really made me jump, and I muttered "twat" under my breath (it was a reflex action... I wasn't meaning to challenge him, it just came out). Trouble was, he heard it! He stopped a few feet ahead of me, turned around and shouted "Fuck off!" then stood there, glaring at me. He looked about 16 -18, and full of rage. I tried to diffuse things a bit, and calmly said "Well, you were going quite fast, and were too close... some consideration would be nice" then he shouted "Fuck off you c*t!" I was scared, but wasn't going to show it. I said "There's no need for that language... you were going too fast" then he said "Fuck off! Anyway - what do you weigh - about 20 stone?! Fuck off, you c*t!" He then cycled off.

I am rethinking my walking route now, and feel worried about seeing him again. I was quite pleased at my progress, but now I feel shaken and unsure about my walks. The weight comment was just a cheap shot from a stroppy teenager, but he looked me up and down with such contempt that it made me feel absolutely gross. (I don't mean that to be disrespectful to anyone else struggling with their weight, some overweight women are beautiful but I'm rather plain).

I know IWBU and stupid to say that word out loud, and brought trouble on myself - maybe I need to tape my mouth shut in future! But for context, in the southern town where I live, the word "twat" just means "idiot", rather than the ruder meaning that it has in other places.

I can't get this out of my head and feel anxious about it all. I wish there were rear view mirrors for pedestrians... maybe I should just carry a small mirror? AIBU to ask for any suggestions or thoughts about this?

OP posts:
Lalliella · 27/03/2021 00:40

He was a twat. Cyclists shouldn’t be on the pavement unless it is a cycling lane or shared space, and even so they shouldn’t get so close to a pedestrian that they touch them. Plus they should use a bell to warn pedestrians that they’re there.

Also he was such an insignificant and worthless twat that his opinion means nothing and you should really try and forget what he said. He was that type of man who uses aggressive and threatening behaviour to belittle and intimidate women. Probably thick as shit too. Please try not to think about him anymore OP.

Carry on with your walking, and congratulations on your weight loss.

PS I’m a cyclist and we’re not all like that!

Original poster
UrbanRambler · 27/03/2021 00:50

@Lalliella Thanks, it's good to hear things from a cyclist's perspective. Funnily enough a lady cyclist came up behind me yesterday, and used her bell to let me know she was there. I moved over to give her more space and she slowed down and thanked me as she passed. All very civilised. ☺

Thanks for all your kind comments, I appreciate them very much, as I don't have much support in RL. I must try not to overthink this, and not let it derail my fitness plan.

OP posts:
blueshoes · 27/03/2021 01:18

Watch on the video (not pointed his way)

What does this mean. Is there a discreet way to film someone?

LoganBerryFerry · 27/03/2021 01:28

What a little shit. Don't change your route, just sprinkle some tacks down for him.
Well done on losing a stone x

PenfoldPenny · 27/03/2021 01:33

Assuming you are in the UK............ its illegal to ride bicycles on the pavement here so it wasnt you who was rude first at all. His choice to be on the pavement and then zoom past you at speed was illegal and rude.

Flowers
StellaDendrite · 27/03/2021 01:41

You called him a twat so he called you a cunt. Seems fair enough 🤷🏻‍♀️ TBH I think if you are going to feel anxious about things like this then you have to not be so aggressive yourself.

He shouldn’t of brushed past you and you shouldn’t have called him a twat loud enough for him to hear. He shouldn’t of called you a cunt.

I’m at a loss to imagine why the ‘southern town’ you live in has a different meaning for the word twat then the rest of the world. Maybe the boy think cunt has a different meaning too 😂😂

Absolutelyscunnered · 27/03/2021 01:41

@PenfoldPenny

Assuming you are in the UK............ its illegal to ride bicycles on the pavement here so it wasnt you who was rude first at all. His choice to be on the pavement and then zoom past you at speed was illegal and rude.

Flowers

This
Quirrelsotherface · 27/03/2021 06:51

Calling someone a year is going to to get their back up, especially at that age when they are mostly all puffed up ego. YABU to have used that language first, so can't really complain about his language thereafter.

Quirrelsotherface · 27/03/2021 06:51

twat not year. My phone doesn't like swearing

Fairyliz · 27/03/2021 06:55

Well done shouting at him he was totally in the wrong. He was a stupid arsehole hopefully he will be a bit more careful in future although I doubt it.

KaleJuicer · 27/03/2021 06:55

I just came on here to say keep up the walking! I would have been really upset by this.

ZigZaggyZoo · 27/03/2021 06:56

I think you handled it well. He clearly has other stuff going on to be so aggressive

Mollymalone123 · 27/03/2021 06:59

He was a test and he knew it- hence the barrage of abuse- just think to yourself he’s a knob with no knob and you carry on walking exactly where you want to walk- I expect if he sees you again he will keep his distance-I’m sorry this happened to you though as it’s a horrible experience 💐

Mollymalone123 · 27/03/2021 07:00

Twat not test 😂

picklemewalnuts · 27/03/2021 07:02

I'm shocked a couple of people here think muttering 'twat' when someone has 'stealth cycled' past you at speed, so close they touched you, makes it as much your fault as his!

Glad I don't know those folk in real life.

DeadGood · 27/03/2021 07:04

@Happycat1212

Maybe he misjudged the space. I don’t think calling insults after someone who brushes past you is acceptable, but I think the op has probably learned her lesson not to give it if you can’t take it.
Jesus Christ. There is no “lesson” for the OP to learn here. It’s abundantly clear from her post that she is an anxious, overthinking type and your comment is completely unhelpful.

YANBU OP, please put this out of your head and don’t think any more about it. Of course you should not stop your walks. He was a prick.

Bambam2019 · 27/03/2021 07:11

Why was he even on the pavement? He deserved to be called a twat for breaking that law.
I’ve had similar experiences of cyclists on canal towpaths. They do come up behind you fast, although most are polite and ring the bell from a distance. However I have had some come up behind my
Horse who I ride along there to get to bridle paths. They then pass at speed. One of these days she will spook and I’ve been known to mutter something at them
Before for causing a dangerous situation. (And before anyone says I create the situation by riding her on there, I know she will be fine so long as other towpath users pass her correctly!)

Eslteacher06 · 27/03/2021 07:21

I used to have to walk through the Mt Victoria tunnel in Wellington, a mile long tunnel. It SAYS give way to pedestrians, but my hatred for cyclists came from this experience. Many have literally no regard to pedestrians and assume everyone is their enemy because some have bad experiences with cars. Yet pedestrians are also vulnerable!

I once refused to move over the whole length because I was so sick of their behaviour and when we got out, about 20 cyclists with steam coming out of their ears came zooming out.

It was a great day HaloGrin

He was a twat. You could never reason with an arse like that. And well done on losing weight! I'm the heaviest I've ever been due to lockdown! You've done amazingly!

Puddstalk · 27/03/2021 07:29

OP - forget this - you did nothing wrong - he was a twat - keep walking

MiniCooperLover · 27/03/2021 07:32

It's not illegal to cycle on the pavement if it's a dual walk/cycle path. There are a lot of them in our town. Generally you walk on the left and cycle on the right and the newer ones are wide enough to not be near each other.

Thomasina79 · 27/03/2021 07:33

According to the Highway Code it is illegal to cycle on the pavement. Pavements are for pedestrians.

Normal people who brush past someone at speed say sorry and certainly don’t start swearing.

You did nothing wrong here; calling him a twat is not aggressive it is simply stating a fact - he was a twat.

You’ve done so well with your exercise and weight loss don’t let this idiot spoil that and don’t let his comments destroy your self esteem, he’s not worth it.

Ch0c0latechops · 27/03/2021 07:33

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Graciebobcat · 27/03/2021 07:36

He shouldn't be on the pavement unless it's dual use, and even then he should slow the fuck down and take care. He was absolutely in the wrong, and he knew it, which is why he resorted to personal insults.

Ch0c0latechops · 27/03/2021 07:39

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rawlikesushi · 27/03/2021 07:40

He shouldn't have been on the pavement and I might have shouted 'get off the bloody path' or similar. But I also think 'twat', said loudly enough for a speeding cyclist to hear, was rather aggressive and was always going to invite an unwelcome response. Don't you think telling him to watch his language was a bit hypocritical? His weight comment was cruel, and if you'd have been a man you'd have had a more respectful encounter, which is the part that annoys me.