Aggressive cyclist encounter

[UrbanRambler]

For background, I'm overweight and do a daily walk, to control my weight and for my mental health (I am prone to depression and anxiety). I walk in my local area (city suburb, mixture of nice and not so nice areas). Over the last year I've increased my walk from 2 miles to 5 miles a day, and this has helped me to lose 1 stone. I'm still a stone overweight, but being tall I carry it reasonable well.

Walking during Covid has become trickier, as the pavements and parks have been busier with more people taking walks, but most people are polite and considerate. All good. I have no issues with pedestrians, but there are a lot more cyclists on the pavements now, and some of them have no consideration for walkers. When they approach from behind, you often can't hear them until they're very close, which can be unnerving.

Today I was walking along a wide pavement (around 8ft) when a cyclist zoomed past me at speed, brushing my shoulder as he went by. He came from behind, and really made me jump, and I muttered "twat" under my breath (it was a reflex action... I wasn't meaning to challenge him, it just came out). Trouble was, he heard it! He stopped a few feet ahead of me, turned around and shouted "Fuck off!" then stood there, glaring at me. He looked about 16 -18, and full of rage. I tried to diffuse things a bit, and calmly said "Well, you were going quite fast, and were too close... some consideration would be nice" then he shouted "Fuck off you c*t!" I was scared, but wasn't going to show it. I said "There's no need for that language... you were going too fast" then he said "Fuck off! Anyway - what do you weigh - about 20 stone?! Fuck off, you c*t!" He then cycled off.

I am rethinking my walking route now, and feel worried about seeing him again. I was quite pleased at my progress, but now I feel shaken and unsure about my walks. The weight comment was just a cheap shot from a stroppy teenager, but he looked me up and down with such contempt that it made me feel absolutely gross. (I don't mean that to be disrespectful to anyone else struggling with their weight, some overweight women are beautiful but I'm rather plain).

I know IWBU and stupid to say that word out loud, and brought trouble on myself - maybe I need to tape my mouth shut in future! But for context, in the southern town where I live, the word "twat" just means "idiot", rather than the ruder meaning that it has in other places.

I can't get this out of my head and feel anxious about it all. I wish there were rear view mirrors for pedestrians... maybe I should just carry a small mirror? AIBU to ask for any suggestions or thoughts about this?

He’s a sad little twat , I bet you never see him again on another walk so please don’t change your routine for this sad excuse of a boy .

So much for personal responsibility. Can't be aggressive behaviour because this was an aggressive person. Must blame it on one of his identities -- Cyclist, Male, Teenager. It's like Identity Politics Bingo.

Cyclists belong on roads not pavements.
On a shared path they should slow down and ring a bell and say excuse me.
And I say that as someone who commutes 50 miles a week on a bike including shared paths.
He was a twat. Ignore him.

@lljkk

So much for personal responsibility. Can't be aggressive behaviour because this was an aggressive person. Must blame it on one of his identities -- Cyclist, Male, Teenager. It's like Identity Politics Bingo.

Well in fairness an old female pedestrian wouldn’t have caused such a problem would they.

As a practical suggestion, OP, I find bikes (and cars, when I'm on country lanes with no footpath) don't buzz as close if I'm jauntily swinging a walking pole. An umbrella would probably do.

He was acting like an inconsiderate prick with how he was cycling. However, you had no right to call him out on his misogynistic language when you'd used a similar word first.

@OppsUpsSide

That’s a bit rude the vast majority of us behave reasonably.

But then, the reasonable majority wouldn’t be riding on the pavement so wouldn’t be affected surely?

Generally correct but there are some instances where cycling on a pavement is reasonable imo, to avoid dangerous junctions is one. I can’t tell from the OPs post whether or not he was unreasonable to be on the pavement, perhaps he wasn’t, but he was still a twat.

He was wrong and he knew it op that’s why he insulted you . He just wasn’t bright enough to come up with an argument hence the abuse. Ignore him and keep walking and well done on the weight loss .

Wow some of these responses are mad!

@kowari he made her jump, what should she have said to him as an acceptable response?!

My comment is that the thread is all about hating types of people.

Choose who you hate & then frame the aggressive kid's behaviour in context of that trait, so you can express your hate of that type of person.

Ugly. Tribal.

Has anyone tallied whether there's more man-bashing or more cyclist-bashing on this thread? I think they might be running neck & neck.

He was a twat and you didn't do anything wrong. He shouldn't have been on the pavement cycling so fast! I don't often cycle but I can't cycle in the road after being knocked off by bike as a teenager. I therefore pootle along the pavement, giving way to pedestrians at all times as I am in their space!

If he was close enough to brush past you then he was far too close. He'd have the rage if a car came as close to him as he did to you wouldn't he?

And why is it always bloody men!

@Killerqueen2244

Wow some of these responses are mad!

@kowari he made her jump, what should she have said to him as an acceptable response?!

Idiot? Dick? Prick? He was either being stupid or acting like an entitled male or both, why use a misogynistic term?

@Killerqueen2244

Wow some of these responses are mad!

@kowari he made her jump, what should she have said to him as an acceptable response?!

Mad indeed.

Everyone knows this boy was out of line, I don't think that's debatable. I certainly don't want to victim blame (yes I believe she's a victim here) but some posters are concentrating on how OP can avoid these situations on future.

Like it or not, she escalated this situation on multiple occasions, firstly by calling him a twat and then by arguing with someone seemingly overflowing with rage.

Was her behaviour unreasonable? I don't think so. Was it likely to lead to a positive interaction? Absolutely never.

We can't control other people but we can control ourselves. There's no excuse for this boys actions but if OP is here for anything I'm sure it's just words of support and encouragement going forwards plus maybe ideas on how to stop these incidents happening again that doesn't mean stopping the walk completely as she's already contemplating changing her behaviour based on this incident.

It's not an issue of pedestrian Vs cyclist, but pedestrian Vs a total bell-end who happened to be on a bike.

He shouldn't have been on the pavement! Even on dual use paths, I'll always slow right down when cycling past people because I don't want to alarm them. His behaviour is not a cyclist thing, it's an aggressive little shit thing.

If she wanted to call something out, she could’ve called;
“Hey!”
“Watch it!”
“Watch out!”
“Excuse me!”
Or something similar, that wasn’t calling him a name.

He wasn't offensive and insulting because he was on a bike, he was offensive and insulting because he was a nasty person.

Move on from it OP - and carry on with the walking.

[quote Ch0c0latechops]@LittleRa

She muttered under her breath. I hate people who don’t think aswell[/quote]
If she muttered under her breath and he was going past at speed, how did he actually hear?

I don’t know what you mean by “I hate people who don’t think aswell”? I assume you mean “as well” but not sure if you’re saying that you hate me?

Generally correct but there are some instances where cycling on a pavement is reasonable imo, to avoid dangerous junctions is one.

No. You get off your bike and walk round.