Aggressive cyclist encounter

[UrbanRambler]

For background, I'm overweight and do a daily walk, to control my weight and for my mental health (I am prone to depression and anxiety). I walk in my local area (city suburb, mixture of nice and not so nice areas). Over the last year I've increased my walk from 2 miles to 5 miles a day, and this has helped me to lose 1 stone. I'm still a stone overweight, but being tall I carry it reasonable well.

Walking during Covid has become trickier, as the pavements and parks have been busier with more people taking walks, but most people are polite and considerate. All good. I have no issues with pedestrians, but there are a lot more cyclists on the pavements now, and some of them have no consideration for walkers. When they approach from behind, you often can't hear them until they're very close, which can be unnerving.

Today I was walking along a wide pavement (around 8ft) when a cyclist zoomed past me at speed, brushing my shoulder as he went by. He came from behind, and really made me jump, and I muttered "twat" under my breath (it was a reflex action... I wasn't meaning to challenge him, it just came out). Trouble was, he heard it! He stopped a few feet ahead of me, turned around and shouted "Fuck off!" then stood there, glaring at me. He looked about 16 -18, and full of rage. I tried to diffuse things a bit, and calmly said "Well, you were going quite fast, and were too close... some consideration would be nice" then he shouted "Fuck off you c*t!" I was scared, but wasn't going to show it. I said "There's no need for that language... you were going too fast" then he said "Fuck off! Anyway - what do you weigh - about 20 stone?! Fuck off, you c*t!" He then cycled off.

I am rethinking my walking route now, and feel worried about seeing him again. I was quite pleased at my progress, but now I feel shaken and unsure about my walks. The weight comment was just a cheap shot from a stroppy teenager, but he looked me up and down with such contempt that it made me feel absolutely gross. (I don't mean that to be disrespectful to anyone else struggling with their weight, some overweight women are beautiful but I'm rather plain).

I know IWBU and stupid to say that word out loud, and brought trouble on myself - maybe I need to tape my mouth shut in future! But for context, in the southern town where I live, the word "twat" just means "idiot", rather than the ruder meaning that it has in other places.

I can't get this out of my head and feel anxious about it all. I wish there were rear view mirrors for pedestrians... maybe I should just carry a small mirror? AIBU to ask for any suggestions or thoughts about this?

@Ch0c0latechops

She didn’t shout aggressively at the top of her voice. Can you not just half imagine the scenario? Can you not half imagine it was you who he did it too? Well, just try doing that for a moment please. And just think about a typical, ‘muttering of ... twat’ at a low-level volume. What exactly do you THINK she should have said then? It was a natural, surprised reactive gut response to the shock of something done by a twat my friend

Why have you asked “what exactly do you THINK she should said?” when my first post that you responded to was my ideas for what I think she could’ve said? She could’ve said: “Hey!” “Watch out!” “Watch it!” “Careful!” “Excuse me!” Or similar, to alert attention to the fact he’d got too close and she wasn’t pleased about it.

Cyclists are a danger to pedestrians and shouldn’t be on footpaths or pavements unless it’s designated shared space (which around here are too dangerous to walk on).

He was a twat, he was in the wrong not you. The posters who would just carry on their merry way and have no reaction to a speeding cyclist doing this with no warning.....yeah right. The fright itself would invoke a reaction in most people. He should have slowed and sounded his bell to let you know he was there. Why was he so close if the pavement was wide.....deliberate??

@Ch0c0latechops

Right ok. Well I totally overlooked that comment. In one ear, out the other, because I totally disagree with what you say. You’re ‘picking’ a fault that I don’t see as a problem in the CONTEXT of the scenario. And you can’t change someone’s natural gut reaction to an incident like this

Ok, I guess we’ll agree to disagree then.

The opening didn't do anything wrong at all. I had a twat bang my wing mirror on my car the other day. He was male too. I did wonder how nice it would be to see the bastard hit by a strapping bloke.

@Ch0c0latechops

Holier than thou, up on my high moral pedestal, I will dish out my shite advise, correct the odd mid-spelling and change the fundamental flaws that I see in society.....and totally ignore aggressive male behaviour against women. I don’t like the word twat. Is exactly what you are saying there 👏

I’m a bit confused as to why you’ve chosen to single me out, say that you hate me and generally insult me, especially when you later admitted that you didn’t even read my first post which you chose to respond to. But I was literally just suggesting some other things the OP could’ve said to call the cyclist out which would have still drawn his attention to the situation without calling him a name. As I’ve said, let’s agree to disagree and leave it there.

Sorry this happened to you. I had a guy almost knock me over cycling down the pavement once. I got a shock and stupidly said you should be on the road and he stopped turned round and shouted in my face he was going to knock my teeth out next time he saw me. I was shaking and when I got home burst out crying at the sheer aggression of it. Sadly some aggressive men take pleasure in being abusive. I was scared for a while walking around but never saw him again.

Why have you asked “what exactly do you THINK she should said?” when my first post that you responded to was my ideas for what I think she could’ve said?
She could’ve said:
“Hey!”
“Watch out!”
“Watch it!”
“Careful!”
“Excuse me!”
Or similar, to alert attention to the fact he’d got too close and she wasn’t pleased about it.

Do you if she had said “excuse me!” she’d have got a significantly different reaction from this kid? I strongly doubt it.

Recently I had a near miss when crossing the road with my DC and a car came round the corner too fast - I spontaneously yelled out “FUCKING HELL! YOU FUCKING IDIOT!” (and I never swear in front of my DC). Should I have just “oooh careful now!”

[quote UrbanRambler]@ErrolTheDragon I'm not sure whether it's dual use, but a lot of cyclists treat it that way. I was right over to one side so there was no need for him to zoom past so close. He seemed to ooze aggression from every pore.[/quote]
OP please check this

I don't use those shared paths, I've seen some near misses and a lot of confrontation

Sorry this happened to you.

I thought cyclists are not allowed to cycle on pavements unless there is a cycle pavement attached? Either way, he was being a twat. He is an aggressive twat as well. Oh and congratulations on your weight loss btw Don't let one idiot dishearten you, you've obviously been doing really well so far

He was completely in the wrong. Even on dual use paths cyclists have to take care.

That looking up and down thing - he’d have done it to any woman. Probably practised it at home. Probably does it to girls his age in order to “neg” them - and it probably works! Don’t give it a moment’s further thought but it won’t have been genuine just for you.

And women should not have to watch their spontaneous, justified and rather mild words in order to avoid an aggressive onslaught from a male - a young healthy male at that. That the OP feels she brought it on herself or should modify her behaviour is exactly what’s wrong with the world.

Absolutely this. I’m sick of do-gooders blaming/attacking women for ‘slightly less than altruistically perfect’ responses to aggressive male behaviour. Think about his over the top aggressive response. Who created the fear here? And whose to say he didn’t do it on purpose because he’s a power-hungry twat who has deliberately created the situation in the first place. If I was riding past someone, I would be extra extra careful, there wouldn’t ever be a ‘brushing past’ someone at all! How people can ever be so stupid as to not see through this aggressive behaviour (and ultimately blame the woman, pedestrian, whoever) is how men get away with being abusive

Yes. He. Was. A. Twat. And. No. You. Didn’t. Start. It

THIS. He was a twat, an aggressive, entitled little male who never would have behaved like that if you were a 6’4 man. People judging you for not behaving like the perfect submissive woman, are part of the problem.

This is just typical cyclist behaviour IMO. They whinge endlessly about their rights and how motorists don’t respect them, but then have zero respect for pedestrians. Bunch of entitled twats.

@LaBellina

What a twat. Funny how it’s always men who behave like this, eh?

Except its not. A woman started the encounter by swearing at an innocent cyclist.

He was wrong. Little fuckwit. Even if he had a bell it’s not a bloody warrant for you tonHAVE TO MOVE out of the way. You have as much right as he. Although when I encounter selfish cyclists, I do wonder- they take up the road, slow traffic, don’t use the underpasses at roundabouts , don’t pay road tax and piss off drivers. Then they zoom about on paths and EXPECT you to GUVE WAY TO THEM. there’s not really a happy solution other than them to be civil and courteous in their use of paths just like walkers, joggers, dog walkers etc etc. Don’t change your route. He probably went home and I guarantee it will have played in his mind. Probably feels a right arse about it now.

He wasn’t an innocent cyclist of he was riding on the pavement though was he? Pavements are for pedestrians not for people on wheels. Interesting that cyclists are always the first whinge when cars get too close to them, riding about in their Lycra with those wanky helmet cams so they can film and then moan on social media about inconsiderate drivers. Maybe pedestrians should start wearing cameras to catch out these twats who cycle about like they are in Tour De France with little consideration for others?

Oh and when are they going to start paying road tax and taking tests like drivers have to?

I had a cyclist zoom past me too fast and too close on a walkway.. Amusingly he was also going to fast for the bend and ended up on his bum. As he didn't hurt anything but his pride, I quite enjoyed the moment. He called out to his mate that there were leaves on the pavement. I said no it's because you were going too fast. He ignored he but I was prepared for him to be mouthy back.

I don't mind cyclists on the pavement/shared pathway as long as they give way to pedestrians and cycle slowly and responsibly. Just like on a road I give way to cyclists/pedestrians when I'm driving.

Unfortunately there's a certain sort of aggressive cyclist/jogger who thinks everyone should give way to them.

Except its not. A woman started the encounter by swearing at an innocent cyclist

An innocent cyclist who was on the pavement going too fast and too close to pedestrians?!! Poor little lamb.

Almost the same thing happened to me recently except the guy was older, riding a small motor bike and coming toward me. The path was very narrow so I stayed on it expecting him to swerve onto the grass but he didn't move until the last minute and then I got a mouthful of abuse.
Total jerk.