Sorry its a long one:
FIL has stage 4 brain cancer. He is still at home but over the last couple of weeks he has been struggling with steroid induced diabetes and has not been good. MIL (who suffers from depression anyways) has been really struggling this week and has asked in a family WhatsApp group if someone can go sit with him so she can get out for a couple of hours. Not a problem.
Family situations:
DH works 50+ hours a week.
I work part-time compressed hours of 28, but working all through Covid
DD6
DD22m (currently not speaking and going through screaming phase).
SIL 2 days a week currently on furlough and has been since December.
BIL 37 hours a week
DD19 DD14 DS18 (all live at home still).
As soon as the text came through we sent a message saying DH would come down with the DDs for a couple of hours tomorrow. SIL didn't read the original message until after we replied and swiftly replied with a message saying "I'm not the only one in this bastard family, you rely on me too much, I'm depressed and I've got my own shit to be dealing with and want to spend time with my family"
I am fucking fuming. I wouldn't mind, but her own kids don't want to be anywhere near her due to her drinking and drug taking (takes cocaine throughout the week) the kids don't want to be anywhere near her (niece has told me, and she has told MIL and FIL about her). She sucks them dry of money and they have constantly bailed her out over the years. She goes running to them at the slightest hint of financial difficulty but as soon as they need her she turns round and says something like that! After everything they have done for her. With working throughout the week and with DD going through her screaming phase we do our darndest to see him at least once a week. I speak to MIL on a daily basis, but it's not always easy for us to get down more than that once a week and FIL doesn't want a constantly screaming, whinging toddler around him.
I'm fuming for MIL and I'm fuming for us as her comments are also aimed at us. She's not working and has no "dependant" children!! She's on FB everyday saying what sodding new NF series she's watching, or that she's popping to bed for a nap!
Should I message back or leave it be? They have obviously spoken throughout the day and had a disagreement and she's either had a drink or a line and just blown her top.
YABU - We should be doing more and leave it.
YANBU - Text and tell her she's an absolute arsehole.