To have mostly preloved clothes for baby?

[lavonda]

I've namechanged for this.

I'm young and I'm 31 weeks pregnant. I've bought preloved body suits/baby grows. None are brand new. I have brought him a brand new car seat and pram. My mum said I shouldn't have brought second hand as it isn't fair on son and people will think I'm a lazy mum who doesn't like to spend money on my child. I've told her it was mine and my boyfriends decision and he will be wearing newborn at first anyway so I wouldn't want to spend a lot of money on clothes to only be worn a couple of times. She still thinks I'm BU

Aibu?

Sounds v sensible!

There's nothing wrong with second hand. We need more recycling and reuse of resources.

Don’t most people have a pile of hand me downs from friends and relations on the basis that the baby wears them once and then grows?! Also better for the environment and your pocket!

It’s not wrong at all! Better for the wallet, better for the environment and you can pass them on again.

They wear them for a week or so in the beginning, no time at all, it’s sensible to buy second hand and reshare after.

It sounds very sensible. We had mainly second hand for DC. Why waste money and resources on new outfits that will only be worn a few weeks?

I tend to find people who obsess about having only new are showing their own prejudices and how they look down on second hand. Most people who are happy and confident in their decisions don't worry about what someone else thinks about their baby's outfits.

I think it’s really sensible :) they don’t wear things long and you can get lovely nearly new clothes that you can blast in the wash and no one would know they are preloved. You will then have more money to buy him some special items of clothes that you love if you see anything and for days out etc (plus it’s better for the environment). X

The more hand me downs the better frankly, for all the reasons pp have mentioned.

Your mum's bloody ridiculous. 1. How will anyone even know they're not new. 2. Preloved stuff is great quality for babies because they use them for such a short time.

We could have afforded to buy new but have bought nearly all preloved, why waste money?

This is what I did with both my two. We had a few special outfits, given as presents, and a few things I bought because I really loved them. But at 4am when a baby has had a disaster it really doesn't matter if they're putting on a secondhand babygro, does it? And some things I borrowed from friends and family were almost unworn as babies grow so quickly.

I looked on it as saving money I could use for treats when they were older: things they really did enjoy wearing or doing or eating.

YANBU at all. My kids have worn loads and loads of Preloved hand me downs over the years, from cousins, friends, charity shops, eBay.

We have plenty money and could kit them out in brand new everything if we wanted but we don't want to. You are right they get so little wear out of it, especially as babies. As they have got older I've bought more new as my DS will now get a year or more's wear out of something. Then we keep it in the loft for my DD!

I wore a lot of hand-me-downs as a kid and did long for new things so as they get older and start ti care it's nice to let them pick new bits and bobs, school uniform or party outfit etc. But for a baby they need to be clean, warm and comfortable.

We did buy a new 'going home' outfit for each baby just as a sort of welcome to the world type thing. Although DD did a massive shit all over hers before we could take her home in it

Ps you'll get a million new clothes as baby gifts, so enjoy them!

Second most yanbu ever!

The only poster less unreasonable than you was someone asking if she should leave her abusive partner ages ago.

I have a friend whose son is a year older than mine, and I get such a steady stream of their hand-me-downs that I can't tell you the last time we bought him new clothes! I feel very lucky to have this arrangement.

I'm not lazy and I have a good paying job, but I'm not going to spend money when it's not necessary just to prove something.

Your mum is being ridiculous. You sound very sensible.

Very sensible! Babies go through clothes like I don't know what. Why waste money on a whole wardrobe of new clothes?!

YANBU. I buy almost exclusively second hand for my children, because it's better for the environment.

YANBU except for using bollockspeak.

We had mostly preloved clothes, too. How awful for the environment if everyone used clothes a couple of times then threw them away? My only criteria was that they were in spotless condition, no smoking households. Which isn't difficult given they get worn just a few times! I did buy lovely new ones too, just a few special items though.

Congratulations on your baby!

You & your bf have been very sensible! A baby does not care if another baby has worn a baby grow before them and it's not going to cause them any harm!

You have bought a brand new car seat - very sensible.

No one will think you're lazy or don't care about your baby! Anyone with half a brain will think you've both been VERY sensible.

Be very wary of taking any advice from your mother.

Keep buying second hand, they grow like weeds! And babies/toddlers don't wear things out, so make the most of it!!

Do you live with your mum?

God no, both mine have mainly hand me downs or it would cost me a fortune. Every time they go up a size I get them a few new things just for them but the bulk of it is pre loved. Once baby's here as long as it fits and it's (relatively) clean you won't care where it came from. If your mum wants to keep baby in new clothes only she can pay for them! X

DS1 got lots new because first grandchild on my side and his aunties went a wee bit mad, but when he got a bit bigger he also got all the stuff my friends with boys had grown out of - summer baby where theirs are all winter, so not much overlap until six months or so.

The new one will be getting a lot of his big brother's stuff, at least up to nine months or so (he has an amazing gift for putting the knees out of things, so all trousers since he started walking are a write off), some new, and probably a few hand me downs from friends/cousins again.

They neither know nor care and how on earth would anyone tell if they're in decent nick?

Have to admit I bought a pack of babygros, vests, a cardigan and a hat thinking anything else was silly, but I’ve spent far too much on lovely baby clothes. YANBU though, obviously!

I’m due imminently and I cannot for the life of me win one sodding eBay bid for newborn clothes!

Why would you be in doubt? Obviously it’s fine and your mum is talking nonsense.

Very sensible! Your mum is being daft. Not only is it really sensible financially but it’s really environmentally friendly too.
We did buy quite a lot for our first and I felt overwhelmed at how much stuff we had, I kept most of it and have used it for next baby. DC2 has had hardly anything new, all passed down.

I donate as much as I can as well, it’s crazy to spend so much when babies grow out of it so quickly.

I was in my 30s and am financially quite comfortable. Almost all her clothing was hand-me-downs or from consignment sales. It’s just a waste of money to buy new. They wear them for such a short time.

Making wise budgeting choices is part of being a good parent. Save your resources for things that matter and the occasional outfit that is just too adorable to resist.

Your mum is bonkers. You're very sensible.

I'm in my 30s and quite well off. Ds1 is in nephews hand me downs and ds2 will wear them again.