To have mostly preloved clothes for baby?

[lavonda]

I've namechanged for this.

I'm young and I'm 31 weeks pregnant. I've bought preloved body suits/baby grows. None are brand new. I have brought him a brand new car seat and pram. My mum said I shouldn't have brought second hand as it isn't fair on son and people will think I'm a lazy mum who doesn't like to spend money on my child. I've told her it was mine and my boyfriends decision and he will be wearing newborn at first anyway so I wouldn't want to spend a lot of money on clothes to only be worn a couple of times. She still thinks I'm BU

Aibu?

It's sensible for my first I had lots of secondhand newborn and it's just as well because the baby was big and newborn didn't fit , so I was glad I didn't waste money so I could spend that on other things . Next baby was tiny and I had been told that it would be just as big as first baby so I had no newborn stuff 🤣 for him

Much better for the environment.
It is the sensible choice when children grow out of clothes rather than wear out the clothes.
My children at 7 and 9 wear a mix (the boy gets more hand me down than the girl, boys clothes are more durable!) No one knows if they are wearing second hand or new, and no one care.
When we have finished with clothes we hand them down / donate to charity as well. I keep intending to sell on eBay but I'm not in the habit yet.

Most of DD's first sleepsuits were hand-me-downs and DD was baby no. 4 in them. They were lovely, washed so soft and they went then to baby no. 5 (and maybe even no. 6). The baby doesn't care, most parents don't care especially the ones who know how fast they outgrow an item or how often you have to change them.

I did buy some new stuff because it is nice to browse in the shops but mainly because I put her into outfits (dungerees and tops) quite fast. Then the next NCT sale came up and I re-stock and also sold a lot. That was until DD was out of nursery for the majority of items. I joked with another NCT volunteer that some items do reappear all the time, especially nice outfits.

You’ve made a smart and conscious decision. Pat yourself on the back and ignore your mum.

Buying new is nice. But buying second hand hits the sweet spot and feels much more rewarding in many different ways.

Environmentally friendlier and financially better off. And the baby actually doesn’t care. They cry, poo, pee and vomit over their clothes.

And if you didn’t care about the environment or financial aspect of it then the other perspective is, your baby, your choice. Doesn’t matter what anyone thinks. They’re the problem not you.

Nah I think you’re being dead sensible. It’s what I do as well. I’ve bought 90% of DD’s clothes in bundles from Facebook marketplace, I’ve bought a 0-3, 3-6 and a 6-9 bundle for a tenner each. I’ve added a few extras, tights, some vests and we were bought things when she was born. Yeah not everything is to my taste, but then I just don’t dress her in those and I pop them back in the bag to sell once she’s outgrown them.

YANBU. You are prioritising spending money on things that matter. Like a car seat you know will be safe. Second hand baby clothes will do exactly the same job new ones will. And will be better for the planet.

Op I admire your sensibility! We went overboard with our first. Family and friends spoilt him with new everything. It was a crying shame when I sold all the stuff and realised HOW MUCH money we basically threw away. And now there are so many preloved sites that sell clothes that are in excellent condition at a fraction of the cost. If only we knew better!!
And what does laziness have to do with this?
Seriously, I think you have the absolutely right idea here. Save your money for all the more important stuff.

And hand me downs had a very different meaning back then. It was usually passed on so many times, worn down and so out of date. Now you can find in season, almost new items for a fraction. Please stick with your idea, very wise of you!

I hope you continue to be so sensible OP. Nothing wrong with second hand. My two continue to wear mostly second hand clothes at almost 9 and 6 and will have very healthy bank accounts when they turn 9 partly due to our attitude to what it is and isn't worth spending money on. We also used reusable nappies.

£40 on a pair of Nike trainers when they cant even walk and will grow out of in weeks could be £40 in a junior ISA.

Theres a massive environmental impact on buying new clothes. We have always bought new clothes too but they are fewer and far between. We pass clothes down to family and friends too. Talk to your mum about the circular economy!

YANBU , this is very sensible. They go through clothes so quickly in the first year, it's crazy, they'll be wearing sth one week and then too big for it a few weeks later. It does feel very wasteful. Most second hand baby clothes don't look second hand anyway as they've only been used for a short period of time. And you will probably receive new stuff as gifts anyway.

A brand new car seat is the right decision as a second hand one could be worn or weakened and not safe enough in the event of a crash. All totally up to you really .

My second son is dressed in hand me downs most days except his socks and underwear, school uniform and shoes.
I did buy him a set of clothes (babygro, cardigan, hat) for him to wear home that I've kept in a memory box with his baby things. Perhaps you could do similar or suggest your mum buys all new stuff if she's so bothered!

As PPs have said you will get plenty of new clothes as gifts anyway

That should say when the kids turn 18 not 9 whoops!!

With my first DS I bought all new, and then realised how quickly they outgrow them and can have poo explosions and ruin them baba.

With soon to be 2nd DS I've got most secondhand stuff from DS1 and I bought more
Secondhand stuff too

YANBU. For all the reasons given already. I did exactly the same.

Yanbu. Tell your mum you’re protecting the environment for your baby you can always suggest to her that she can buy a few nice new outfits if she wants.

YANBU. I wish I was abbit wiser with my first. I bought so much new stuff that was outgrown so quickly, some of it not even worn once! I am ashamed to think that all this money was wasted. This includes heaps of toys that babies only played with for a while before they move to the next developmentally appropriate thing.
I am more environmentally concious now and buy a lot more second hand stuff for myself and for the kids too. It’s better for the purse and the planet!
I did pass on all the baby stuff and toys on, so at least it was used again (and again as I was told).

Your mum is mad. Don't buy anything new unless you have to for safety reasons. After all, the second your baby's shat on it, it's not new any more, is it? Does she think you should throw stuff away after one wear?! Your baby won't care - in fact, they'll be happier if you save the money to spend when they are older and DO care.

Babies tend to move up from newborn clothing within a month (if they fit in it at all- mine didn’t!) then the next sizes last 2-3 months max. There’s honestly no point buying expensive baby clothes for that reason alone plus they often ruin them with poo explosions anyway... You sound very sensible to me.

Sounds like a great idea!! Won't make any difference to your baby and will make a difference to your pocket and the environment. And who's to know, even if it wasn't a sensible thing to do? I buy a lot of second hand clothes for myself, I get better quality than I could afford new and it saves waste. What's not to like?

My new year's resolution this year was to only buy secondhand clothes so my 6 week old (and my toddler, and me) only has secondhand stuff - most of it from his brother but I've bought some odd 'new to me' bits too. He's been given a couple of outfits as presents, but that's it (and he's not big enough for any of them yet). I actually can't believe I didn't do this much earlier - it was a resolution for environmental reasons but we've now all got better quality clothes for less money, so there is absolutely no downside. It's also much easier than it would have been a few years ago to get really nice stuff - I buy it all online so no rooting through loads of charity shops to find one gem.

Very sensible. Sometimes they have things on for precisely five secs before pooping or vomming. I bought a few nice things, time they were washed, dried, aired continuously they do not look so nice anyway! How on earth is anyone going to know if they’re second hand?! Your mum is being very unreasonable, but if it bothers her tell her to feel free to buy new stuff lol

My DS has just grown into 18-24 month old bracket and 75% of his clothes are now pre-loved eBay bundle bargains. Wish I had discovered it earlier! Facebook market place is great for second hand toys too.
It’s much better for the environment.

Secondhand baby clothes are often much softer and nicer for tiny ones to wear, too. Good choice!