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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Daughters carer refused covid vaccine

267 replies

Nevic84 · 25/03/2021 20:20

My daughter 6 has multiple health needs mainly a tracheostomy but also a weakened immune system and minor heart defect.
She’s a happy and otherwise healthy child.
But she’s classed as clinically extremely vulnerable.
She has 1:1 carers as her condition is life threatening.
Her main carer has refused covid vaccine.
Not for any religious or health reasons she doesn’t want to be bullied into having it and if she gets it she’ll get it when she wants and not before (her words)
In her personal life she’s not following covid restrictions and having people over her house and going into other peoples house and visiting public places a lot only wearing mask when mandatory.
What’s peoples opinions and how would they deal with it?
Aibu to think if you work in care you would care enough to want to protect those who couldn’t be protected?
I worry about my daughter everyday I feel scared for her.
As an employer I can’t force her to have it.

OP posts:
Skinnytailedsquirrel · 26/03/2021 00:14

She's not a very caring carer is she?

PutItInNeutral · 26/03/2021 01:46

I would be terrified to have her near my medically fragile child. You need a new carer. Is that possible?

orangebay · 26/03/2021 01:57

If she didn't tell you you wouldn't know. You could get a new career and they lie. She's probably not purposefully trying to hurt your daughter it's just so unknown what the problem is really or how it's spread

Cokie3 · 26/03/2021 02:25

This reply has been deleted

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Cokie3 · 26/03/2021 02:29

@orangebay

If she didn't tell you you wouldn't know. You could get a new career and they lie. She's probably not purposefully trying to hurt your daughter it's just so unknown what the problem is really or how it's spread
@orangebay A new carer would have the paperwork/certificate showing they were vaccinated.

It's just so 'unknown'? What the problem is or how it's spread?

Did you seriously just write that? Wtf? Have you been asleep since February last year and only just woke up a few hours ago? NO ONE doesn't know what the problem is and EVERY ONE knows how it's spread.

Cokie3 · 26/03/2021 02:34

@XenoBitch

So this carer has been tending to your daughter throughout the pandemic and you want to sack her now? Sorry if I am confused. How is the carer suddenly at risk to your daughter now the vaccine is available, when she has been caring for your daughter all along already?
OK, what the fuqk??? Are you serious??

No wonder the UK has such terrible rates of infection when posters like yourself don't take this seriously and are willing to play Russian Roulette even NOW there is a vaccine.

I can't believe what I'm reading here. Confused I just can't. The ignorance on this page is terrifying, and makes me so glad I'm not in the UK. Such head in the sand attitudes is why the UK is almost as bad as America.

Cokie3 · 26/03/2021 02:37

@spacegirl86

As annoying as it is I don't think you can insist on the vaccine side. The other things I think are grounds to get a new carer!
If you can't insist of a carer getting something as basic as a vaccine when they are caring for a sick child with a weak immune system, then what can you insist on?
SakuraEdenSwan1 · 26/03/2021 02:37

It's none of your business what she does, good on her for refusing the vaccine.

SakuraEdenSwan1 · 26/03/2021 02:40

@Milkshake7489

(If i remember rightly!) There's a clause in some legislation that means you can refuse to work with a carer on pretty much any grounds.

Fire her. She's putting your daughter at risk.

And then watch legal action commence!

It's illegal to force anyone to have any medical procedure in this country without their informed consent. This vaccine is still in trials, not enough information on long term or short term side effects, and does not stop you getting Covid or pass it it on.

bebarkered · 26/03/2021 02:43

I would sack her with immediate effect OP. Just out of interest, you don't live in the North West do you? I do, and, I know a carer exactly like her!

Cokie3 · 26/03/2021 02:45

@Nevic84

I employ direct with direct payments. 1 pcr test a week. I do like her but it’s so difficult when it’s your child it’s like Russian roulette I’ve had my vaccine as an unpaid carer and it felt like the happiest day or my life (other than having my children) Everyone has different opinions on it. I half expect one day she’ll turn round and say she’ll have it just because she’s chosen the time, she likes to travel so I guess she’ll need it in the end somehow.
Everyone has different opinions on it.

Everyone is entitled to have different opinions on it, but if you are a denier and refuse the vaccine, don't get a job working as a carer.
It's as simple as that.

she likes to travel so I guess she’ll need it in the end somehow.

Woah, don't rely on that! She may not be able to travel for another year or two (maybe 5, the way the UK is going, caused by attitudes like hers of course, that elongate this) but in the mean time she can easily pick it up, give it to your daughter, and your daughter ends up on a ventilator in ICU and dies.

And you are left with that on your conscience, for the rest of your life.

EVERY DAY, even every HOUR she spends with your daughter from this moment on, you are knowingly risking your daughter's life. You are knowingly risking your daughter's life.
I hope you can live with that. For me, I wouldn't have her anywhere near my daughter for one more minute.

Cokie3 · 26/03/2021 02:46

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Cokie3 · 26/03/2021 02:48

@SakuraEdenSwan1 You are deeply ill-informed. Many jobs dictate you MUST have a vaccine, whether it be Tetanus or some strange disease. As a carer, the woman shouldn't be working with vulnerable and sick people if she hasn't had the vaccine, and the mother can't be sued, in fact, the mother can sue the carer if her daughter gets sick and/or dies.

orangebay · 26/03/2021 02:50

@Cokie3 all the carers I know go to clients with Covid. Yes wear PPE but still have same uniform on with next client. How many nurses have actually had the vaccine caring for patients and where have they been. My next door neighbor hasn't left the house in years and still got Covid. There's no escaping it

SakuraEdenSwan1 · 26/03/2021 02:54

@Cokie3 no I am not trolling, enforcing medical procedures you are all happy to go along with, where does it stop?

I am CEV and a trained nurse, I too have refused the vaccine because years of experience tells me that it is not safe or enough know about it. And I also would like to ask how a carer is looking after a trachy? This should be done by qualified staff only.

Cokie3 · 26/03/2021 02:55

@bp300

Has anyone got any figures on what the risks are for a 6 year old with pre existing health conditions? I was under the impression the risk was extremely low.
If anyone, regardless of age, has a pre-existing health condition, the risk is VERY HIGH.
SakuraEdenSwan1 · 26/03/2021 02:56

[quote Cokie3]@SakuraEdenSwan1 You are deeply ill-informed. Many jobs dictate you MUST have a vaccine, whether it be Tetanus or some strange disease. As a carer, the woman shouldn't be working with vulnerable and sick people if she hasn't had the vaccine, and the mother can't be sued, in fact, the mother can sue the carer if her daughter gets sick and/or dies.[/quote]
I am more informed than you on this. It's illegal and you can sack her blah blah, her carer mixing with others cannot be proven and is hearsay. Sacking her over vaccine refusal with pave way for a huge court case.

Cokie3 · 26/03/2021 02:59

[quote SakuraEdenSwan1]@Cokie3 no I am not trolling, enforcing medical procedures you are all happy to go along with, where does it stop?

I am CEV and a trained nurse, I too have refused the vaccine because years of experience tells me that it is not safe or enough know about it. And I also would like to ask how a carer is looking after a trachy? This should be done by qualified staff only.
[/quote]
I find it very, very hard to believe you are any type of nurse. Any nurse would have the vaccine, because it is safe, effective and is the proper responsible thing to do. I know many, many nurses (hazard of having a very sick mum who is in and out of hospitals) and NOT....ONE would have the selfish, immature and downright irresponsible attitude you do. It just does not happen.

Cokie3 · 26/03/2021 03:01

@SakuraEdenSwan1 You don't seem to be informed on anything medical, so you'll have to excuse me if I call out your misinformation. A mother cannot be sued (and it would be thrown out of court, laughed out of court, in fact) for not wanting to keep someone who refuses to have a vaccine and yet still 'cares' for her child in her employ. Even a 9 year old knows this is not legally possible.

Cokie3 · 26/03/2021 03:05

"Will the Covid vaccine be safe?
The vaccines cannot be approved by the UK regulator (Medicines and Healthcare products Regulatory Agency - MHRA) until they have been rigorously tested to meet the highest safety standards. Therefore, at this stage of public roll out, we can be assured that they have met these standards."

GiveMeNovocain · 26/03/2021 03:40

If you want to sack your daughter's Carer please get proper legal advice. The 2 year grace period doesn't apply in every situation and damages can be extortionate if they're covered by discrimination legislation. People 'advising' you here have nothing to lose. You are the employer and are fully responsible if this ends up in court. Proper legal advice now can save you a lot of expense and stress, which I'm sure is the last thing you need.

jessstan2 · 26/03/2021 03:54

Has your daughter been vaccinated, op? I realise she may not be because of her immune system problems.

Lullaby88 · 26/03/2021 03:57

Yeh i wouldnt use her. Get someone new. But iv read that theyre going to make it mandatory for care workers to get the vaccine. Not sure when.

IwishIwasontheN17 · 26/03/2021 03:59

Your home or car insurance may have a legal helpline which could be helpful. Or consult with ACAS.