What has someone not done for the most ridiculous reason?

[HiyaMeAgain]

I'll start....

My DS didn't do the washing up today as there wasn't any room on the draining board for more dishes!!

@Longingforatikihut

Me...

I had booked a hire car to pick up first thing in the morning. Part of my morning/leave the house routine is a head count of pets and checking of food and water bowls. Someone was not in their tank. I looked behind all the furniture, under the sofas, behind the curtains, Everywhere. After 90 minutes I gave up, flopped on the chair and looked up... There, stuck on the inside of the lampshade was Marge, my giant African land snail. Needless to say the car rental place hadn't had that excuse for being late before. She still likes to escape but now can normally be found stuck to the back of the telly.

This has really tickled me. Marge is the perfect name for a snail, and I have no idea why 😂

Years ago, a temp started in the place I worked at the time.

Day one, she doesn't show at all - calls to the agency didn't pull anything up, decision was made to wait and see what happened the following day.

Day 2, she arrives at 11am despite the 8:30 start time. Reasons given were vague.

Day 3, she was let loose on the computers. And couldn't type. Her fingers were too sore.

When she was asked not to come back, she told me 'I'd have worked really hard for you.' Evidence to date would suggest otherwise!

DM once told me she’d have made me a birthday cake if she’d had more notice. Apparently 25 years wasn’t enough.

Years ago DM went to Japan for 3 weeks. Asked me what I'd like her to bring back for me, I asked for a kimono in red or pink. She brought me back a navy one, with the excuse that 'they' didn't have any pink or red...at all. In any shop in any of the cities she visited . Eventually admitted she couldn't be bothered to look for me and just picked up the first one she saw in the duty free on the way home.

My Dh can't go into the shop if I'm with him because I'm apparently "better at that stuff" I also get sent to pick up the takeaways because he doesn't know what I ordered.
He can't order because he doesn't know what I like🤣🤣🤣 we've been together 11 years. I always order the same stuff. 🤦🏻‍♀️

My husband had a new one this morning. Washed out the child's lunchbox but then proceeded to tell me he couldn't make his lunch because the box was still wet. He'd left said lunchbox on top of freshly wash/dried/folded tea-towels . I'm putting it down to him being in a rush rather than just being a dick, but still could have bloody dried it.....

I was out with Ds1 yesterday when ds2 text me to ask the size of a particular cake tin in our kitchen. He was approximately ten steps from the kitchen and I’m pretty sure he could see a tape measure. I ignored ds1’s suggested reply of “go measure it” and sent back “20cm”. Ds2’s reply? “Good to know!” I’m not sure I even want to hear the explanation for that one..