What has someone not done for the most ridiculous reason?

[HiyaMeAgain]

I'll start....

My DS didn't do the washing up today as there wasn't any room on the draining board for more dishes!!

Husband : 'I don't even know how to drop his trunks off at school!!'

Say what? You don't know how to drop-off a pair of swimming trunks at a school???

Whaaattttttt

Strategic incompetence - great expression

I have this down to a fine art with a whiney needy neighbour who tries to ambush me in the garden to whinge about something:-

Always go out in cold or wet weather with a hood up so I dont "see" her and hurry off

I dont have my hearing aid in so I dont "hear" her calling out

Best one

No thank you I dont buy at the door!

@DarlingBudsofMarch

I once got a letter (in the post) telling me they couldn't pay the child benefit because they didn't know where I lived . I know it's not about being lazy but the logic of that still makes me laugh! I had to go into the office and when they crossly told me they didn't know where I lived I had to point out I lived at the address they sent the letter to

That's crazy! It's like ringing someone up to ask them what their phone number is.

@Roszie

DS couldn't have a shower as last time he had one he got saturated.

Some of these are very funny tho some are a bit sad...

My DH for some unknown reason is unable to order a takeaway. I have to do it. What's that about? He is btw perfectly capable of using the phone, makes calls a lot for his job, so this one baffles me.

One day DD1 told me she couldn't use the smaller of our cars because it doesn't have a seat warmer built in and it was 5C out.

My DD said that she could not clean her room as it would confuse the cat.

DSis left a wardrobe strapped to the roof of her car for several days because it "makes it easy to find the car in car parks"

Eat your xx food to DC the response I’m too cold to eat it. Basically replace xx with any food they didn’t fancy. Funny how they are very too cold for treats or puddings. Best part is it’s normally a hot cooked dinner that they stare will make them feel colder not warmer if eaten 😂

My 32 year old DH can’t put on bedsheets because he ‘doesn’t know how’

I allow the wilful ignorance purely because he does more housework than me and I can’t be bothered to learn how to put my bike on the turbo trainer so figure we both get a free pass for something.

@clary

Some of these are very funny tho some are a bit sad...

My DH for some unknown reason is unable to order a takeaway. I have to do it. What's that about? He is btw perfectly capable of using the phone, makes calls a lot for his job, so this one baffles me.

Mine’s scared of drive-throughs!

@Spied

I didn't go to work because the coat I wanted to wear was still wet in the dryer.

@Spied 🤣🤣🤣🤣

A sign language interpreter I know was asked to go to Australia by a deaf couple to act as interpreter on their trip.

She turned it down because spiders.

An all expenses paid trip to Australia for, I'm not sure how long, but at least a month.

When I changed from Virgin to Sky Virgin were supposed to pick up the set top boxes. I stayed in all day and the phones, apparently they couldn't pick them up because I didn't have a land line.

They had disconnected the land line the previous day, I have a house, with a front door and a bell but apparently Virgin need a land line.

@Aunthe

Me: DD could you tidy the kitchen table please? DD: in a minute. Repeat. Repeat. Me: DD could you stop skivving and tidy the kitchen table please? DD: I'm not skivving, I just went into the hall to look at myself in the mirror.

Had to be done, that look in the mirror!

@LolaNova

My 32 year old DH can’t put on bedsheets because he ‘doesn’t know how’

I allow the wilful ignorance purely because he does more housework than me and I can’t be bothered to learn how to put my bike on the turbo trainer so figure we both get a free pass for something.

You could show him how, it wouldn't take long. It's a useful skill even if no used very often. You could have to go away somewhere for a while and then he would need to.

I'm glad he does more housework though.

Putting bike on turbo trainer is far more technical.

@UCOinaUCG

My DP always just left their car clock too as they had no idea how to change it. I once changed it for them when I was waiting for them in their car. The panic that ensued when they thought we were an hour late for where we were going was hilarious. They realised very quickly what I had done and although they were amused I was warned to never touch the car clock again!

My dad did that when he borrowed my car! I ended up 30 mins late for school pick up. Thankfully I'm usually early.

Dh used to not be able to sort the washing because he didn't know whose clothes were whose.
Tbf he did once manage to dress Dd1 and dd2 in each other's clothes (they were 4 and 1 at the time, so a good difference in size. Dd1 was waddling like a penguin, and dd2 had about 8"of tights spare at her feet).
I introduced him to the fantastical method of looking at the label. If it said age 5-6, it was Dd1's, 2-3 then dd2's.

It's harder now they're similar sizing, but mostly he's worked it out.

@wingsandstrings

My DH keeps trying to get out of our cooking rota because he 'is not good at multi-tasking, and so finds cooking incredibly stressful' (this is also his explanation for cooking horrid burnt meals and sighing dramatically through-out). He does a highly responsible job in which I imagine he has to do a lot of multi-tasking. To be fair, he does seem to slightly freeze in the kitchen and find it inordinately stressful in a way I just don't understand . . . . and there are other aspects of housework he does without complaint.

Mine is like this too, he does enjoy it but takes a really long time because he is literally incapable of “nesting” tasks. So every single step needs to be done in chronological order and instructions like “while the pasta is cooking, prepare the vinaigrette” have to disregarded. He seems to find the language of recipes really difficult to comprehend as well.

He pulls his weight and actually cooks more than I do, so it’s not strategic incompetence. But I am genuinely baffled (and, I’ll admit, irritated) by this. His dad is exactly like it too.

@makesIlaugh

For 25 years my DH never makes gravy to go with a meal. He will cook a complete roast dinner, no gravy. Chops and mash? No gravy. When I raged at him for the millionth time he said 'I'm not bothered about gravy' so I have to make my own. Fair enough. So why is it EVERY FUCKING TIME I make the gravy he says 'well as you've made it I might as well have some'.

This would give me the rage. I'd make myself just enough gravy and not let him have any.

@Stellaris22

DH hasn't changed the time on the car clock because 'I'll just have to change it again in six months'.

Mine is still an hour out, I don’t think it’s worth changing it now 😊

@33goingon64

I didn't put the bins out once because there were several huge spider webs between me and the bins.

But that’s completely reasonable 😁

My elderly Mum lives with us and was shouting for help with something minor when DH & I were settled on the sofa in the back room. I told him he had to go because I was busy being a dog bed & he did. I actually use this one quite a bit as if I'm sitting down there is nearly alway a dog on my lap & DH is a real pushover with the dogs 😂😂

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut
Mine does that too! Currently 35 minutes behind.

@SummeHoliday

DSis left a wardrobe strapped to the roof of her car for several days because it "makes it easy to find the car in car parks"

I love this

@Marvelwife123

Eat your xx food to DC the response I’m too cold to eat it. Basically replace xx with any food they didn’t fancy. Funny how they are very too cold for treats or puddings. Best part is it’s normally a hot cooked dinner that they stare will make them feel colder not warmer if eaten 😂

My nephew would say that food he didn't want to eat was too chewy 🙄😁