What has someone not done for the most ridiculous reason?

[HiyaMeAgain]

I'll start....

My DS didn't do the washing up today as there wasn't any room on the draining board for more dishes!!

I've also worked with someone who couldn't possibly make a round of drinks in the office as they only drink tea and dont know how to make (instant) coffee.
We quickly gave them a lesson and printed illustrated instructions to hang in the kitchen!

I asked my father to find out a piece of personal information about my step-mother (her favourite poem) so that I could make her a special 80th birthday present. I wanted it to be a surprise so asked him to do it discreetly.

He just asked her straight out and told her why because, apparently, it was "too complicated" to do as I had asked

@XenoBitch

Went on a self catering holiday with my parents. My dad refused to lift a finger to help cook, wash up etc because he was "on holiday". Lazy bastard left it all to me and my mum.

I'd have just cooked for myself and let him fend for himself

I told my younger sister (early secondary school age) the name of the Prime Minister and the country's two main political parties. Pure fact, not my opinion on any of them. She got angry with me because as 'a child' she shouldn't be in possession of such information.

I'll never forget it because it was so odd. I'd have understood if she didn't care much about the topic, but she was very specific that she was too young to know basic political facts.

@ClawedButler

Once had a colleague who emailed in to say he would be an hour and a half late for work that morning because he needed a poo.

I think I can top that. A former work colleague was late for work for several days in a row because his little girl wasn't having regular bowel movements. He said he had to wait at home until she'd "been" before he could set off.

@dontsaveusername

Dh can't do the hoovering because there's too much stuff in the understairs cupboard and he can't get it out. I have to get it out for him

Just think about this @dontsaveusername. You don't have to. He's being a prat. Please don't do it again.

I didn't put the bins out once because there were several huge spider webs between me and the bins.

When my son was about 2, I asked him to pick up the cushions which he'd thrown onto the floor, to which he replied, "I can't. I'm too big." in a very melancholy voice.

(I think he was inspired by The Snail and the Whale by Julia Donaldson: " 'I can't move on land, I'm too big,' moaned the whale".)

DS(8) always asks me to get him some grapes in a bowl. When I say that he can get them himself he tells me he can't be trusted not to eat the whole punnet so I need to get them.

@XenoBitch

Went on a self catering holiday with my parents. My dad refused to lift a finger to help cook, wash up etc because he was "on holiday". Lazy bastard left it all to me and my mum.

My MIL did this to me when I was 6months pregnant on a SC holiday!

@Livpool

DS (5) couldn't help me make the cakes (that he asked for) because he is an eater not a maker

My dp has just announced this is his go-to excuse going forward

DS1 once downloaded a low resolution, spanish subtitled film he had the dvd of because he didn't want to walk downstairs to get the disc. That was his peak of teen laziness!

@Aunthe

Me: DD could you tidy the kitchen table please? DD: in a minute. Repeat. Repeat. Me: DD could you stop skivving and tidy the kitchen table please? DD: I'm not skivving, I just went into the hall to look at myself in the mirror.

Better than Me "Can you do that thing" DS "OK" Me ten minutes later "Can you please do that thing" DS "OK" Me a further ten minutes down the road "PLEASE CAN YOU DO THAT THING NOW" DS "OK" Me in another ten minutes, while doing that thing "....." DS watching me finish "I was just. going to do that"

I’ve not been permitted to have a coffee table in the sitting room because ‘you’d only put things on it’.

A friend said she couldn’t meet up after all as she had some sausage meat that was going off that day and she needed to make sausage rolls with it!

DS when little, asked him to go upstairs and start getting ready for bed. He was tired and asked me to carry him. When asked why, he said he couldn't walk as his legs were snoring!
ExDP, as he was going out i asked him on bin day morning to put the neighbours rubbish bin out (I always did ours and had done it the night before), why do I have to? (they was at hospital having a baby!), which one is that? (colour) I said 'really, just look around at all the others!" (lined up 2 foot away by the kerb)

Haha I can be like this.

*Disclaimer, am a full adult with a responsible job and keep a (mostly) spotless house.

Clocks take a good while to change over as I cba. I do the bins currently as housemate is ill but otherwise claim I can't go outside as I'm in my slippers. I figured out the optimal time period between cat litter changes when one of the cats peed on my foot (no reasoning with them).

My best one was getting my exP to change the litter tray for years by convincing him toxoplasmosis was bad for women omitting the fact it was only really dangerous if pregnant.

@thevolturi Asda did that to me with bread 3 times before I finally threw my toys out of the pram and went elsewhere. But... I switched to Morrison's, and they did exactly the same. Argh!! Clearly I should get off my arse and go to the shops more often.

@Covert19 that is so cute.

My DS on his primary school residential decided that changing into PJs was a waste of effort. He simply put them on over his clothes, slept in all the layers and removed the PJs again the next morning. He genuinely thought he'd discovered a shortcut everyone else had missed, and tried to carry it on into home life too.

I’ve avoided making myself dinner before because the kitchens just been cleaned and I don’t want to mess it up again...

Stellaris22 I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how to change the clock on my last car. It was in the garage for something else and mechanic took it upon himself to do it for me (very kind of him), but added another hour the wrong way so it was then two hours fast and I spent months feeling like I was horribly late. Worked it out eventually.

DS couldn't have a shower as last time he had one he got saturated.

A school told me they couldn't look at my formal complaint because it had to be in writing. When I pointed out that the email was in writing they argued that in writing was in letter form. I printed off the email and handed it over and HT still refused to answer it because she didn't believe I had any grounds to complain. I managed to do a three stage complaint without the reason for my complaint being, at any stage, mentioned much less addressed. Funnily enough Ofsted felt I had reason to complain and said my complaint raised serious concerns about leadership and management.

1. My DH told me when we first moved in together I should do all the hoovering because I am 'so good at it.' (his words). I laughed. Nice try! He now does most of the hoovering actually.

2. My aunt and her husband said they wouldn't stay the night for a family wedding because they had just bought new mattresses and they wanted to get the wear out of them rather than spending on a hotel 🤔

My dc cant get a shower because they have p.e and will get sweaty anyway (argument they never win shower every morning)

A lady I lived with at university claimed she was "too short" to carry the bin bags out on her turn on the rota. She was 5ft 3in.
She also claimed she was too little to buy milk at the shop to replace the communal milk she happily consumed in huge quantities (porridge, cereal, coffee) as the bottles were too heavy to walk home with.