DH has told me of a rumour...

[daffodilcity]

DH is a teacher and just called on his way home to say there's a rumour in the year 10 and 11 class that he's an item with a female teacher in his department (he's the only male in his department).

Now, I have OCD and get very anxious about this kind of thing. He's been at the school less than a year, but I still think it's weird. Especially as he says people know about me. I also have a video that went somewhat viral and so the kids at school have mentioned seeing me on that (nothing weird or bad). So it feels odd.

Is this just typical jokey kid rumours or is there something more to this?

I’ve just remembered there’s another rumour that DP killed someone, so maybe I’m being like this purely because of my overthinking. However, I do know how they got that rumour and whilst ridiculous there is a weird logical thought path.

DP told a story of how he was hurt one time. The person that hurt him was murdered. So I can see the link.

but then I think “no smoke without fire

Oh you're one of those. You and your man are well suited.

@PyongyangKipperbang

And thinking about it.....our PE teacher was rumoured to be a lesbian and shagging another member of staff. Then we came back from summer hols one year and she and a totally different (male) teacher had got married, which stunned us all as there had never been any rumours about them!

Similar happened in our school, except the PE teacher WAS a lesbian and had a fling with one of the students.

I’ve just remembered there’s another rumour that DP killed someone, so maybe I’m being like this purely because of my overthinking. However, I do know how they got that rumour and whilst ridiculous there is a weird logical thought path.
DP told a story of how he was hurt one time. The person that hurt him was murdered. So I can see the link.

Maybe he did murder the person?
You seem to be concerned that he's having an affair because there's a rumour about that - so why would it cross your mind that this rumour might be true but not the murdering rumour?

I thought this was a genuine OP but now I'm not sure. On the off chance you are genuine, then I would suggest talking to someone about the issues and problems you have as this kind of obsessive thinking does need therapy.

When i was at school we thought the history and science teachers was having an affair (different surnames) it wasn’t until my sister went to college ( briefly ) she ended up with my old science teacher. And the teacher told her that she was married to the history teacher and she used maiden name

The reason he’s commented about her looks is the only time I’ll defend him. He is obsessed with teeth, think it’s what is most important from a looks perspective and attraction. He recently was in a car accident and his front tooth was knocked out so now it has a bruise thing on it. So does hers. He says he’s now ugly (so is getting it fixed) and Alice has the same issue. Probably still not the right or nice thing.

I think he needs to stop commenting on her teeth. It's even worse that he has a similar issue. I presume he would hate people looking at his teeth and commenting on them to others behind his back therefore he should have some empathy and not do the same.
Not nice of him at all.

I'm irritated on your behalf that he phones you when he's stopped working, and that stops you working. Can you just not answer your phone?

Yup, it's a rumour. Schools are the least sexy place on earth. He will have been chatting to her in front of kids.

There was a rumour I was having an affair with a male teacher for years. It was a bit aggravating and entirely untrue. Neither of us are straight.

I think everyone’s right, it’s ridiculous that I’m thinking like this regardless of if it’s true. A rumour could be true or false. I will see if anything else comes from it (of course all second hand from DP).

I’m just not good at handling this type of thing. I’m trying to get better. It just brings back the very ugly past and I’m still so easily shaken by it. I’ve never had someone make accusations / rumours about anything to do with DP before in this way so I don’t know how to think or act and I’m aware I don’t seem like the most sane person

It sounds like he needs to try to leave his work at work a little bit more.

I'd find him going on day after day about people you haven't met and every minute detail of his day, tiresome.

OP I had an especially irritating twatty colleague who underperformed, yelled at the kids and was eventually fired. I really disliked him and struggled to hide it. He was also 20 years younger than me and I am a not very hot 50 year old. He used to fuck me off by coming into my lesson looking for stuff he'd lost. Dithery shouty knob.... I stuggled to hide my distain. My year 10 class decided he had a huge crush on me. Kids are BONKERS so yes, stupid rumours are rife in schools. Of course they remain OBLIVIOUS to my very-senior-indeed colleague who ACTUALLY shags all the pretty dance teachers 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I wouldn’t be worried - kids love spinning stories like this. Neither do I find it weird that he felt the need to call and tell you. If he calls you regularly on the way home it’s just part of the conversation about the events of the day - also is he aware of your OCD, because if so, he may have been anxious to tell you himself instead of you maybe hearing it from someone else.

@pam290358 yes he is aware of OCD but doesn’t understand it and gets easily angry at me for it. I know it is difficult to live with.

Mmmmm...

IME, kids talk rubbish .

However, the telling you is odd. Especially the ringing you.

I remember three affair rumours at school and all turned out to be true. One was quite out there - a teacher and a student - which I didn’t believe until the teacher hit on me after hours when I was 18!

Doesn’t mean it’s true in this case though. Same as it could be true if no other rumours are. Nobody knows and teenagers aren’t exactly the most reliable sources. Just keep an eye on it and make your own mind up.

I’m so curious about the video you were on that went viral?!

Because the principal even said in front of the school she was surprised he was a priest. This was Irish school 20 odd years ago. There definitely should have been some phone call to wherever she thought he had been beforehand. Sorry I meant no one knew not even the staff, not that they would have all had that.

It does happen quite a bit, I've known several teachers who had affairs and it broke their families in the end.
However, I remember so many rumours like this at school, maybe just be cautious but not paranoid, if that makes sense.

Surely he wasn't still a practising priest though, @RuggerHug?

My late husband was a social worker and often put in the position of being alone with some pretty dodgy women - he was always aware of the danger that any one of them could accuse him of abusing them, and it would be his word against theirs. And a good friend of ours, a very honourable man and also a social worker, was accused - many, many years after he'd retired - of exactly that. He hung himself. So I'm pretty sure that your husband is telling you of this rumour so that you are warned from the outset that he's being falsely "paired" with this other teacher, and you won't hear it out of the blue and take it seriously. I also think, from your post, that you need to rather urgently seek help for your OCD, unless you want to eventually wear your husband down and drive him away - nobody can live with constant suspicion from their partner and not snap one day.

HollowTalk He was! His way of announcing it (Def outing to anyone else who went there at the time) was to say "Girls, I can marry you all now you know!!!"

I agree with @SecondBabyGirl on this one xx

Once had a rumour the male old (50s) music teacher was shagging the young (20s) music teacher in the music cupboard

One girl in my year was rumoured to be seeing the English teacher because they’d be seen one Saturday in a cafe... he was well fit too

@crochetmonkey74

Hang on, who is the 'guy' who came in? Is it a teacher? If yes, why is a teacher spreading kids gossip? Something smells off about this to me OP- the very least is that he is working in an overdramtic and unprofessional school/ department

Overdramatic pretty much describes every school I've ever had any connection with! I think mixing with over dramatic young people day in, day out seems to rub off on the staff. It certainly keeps things interesting.

YABU but I mean it as a kind YABU. School kids say this thing all the time. They make things up to be funny or invent situations in their heads. They start rumours for no reason whatsoever just because they can. I’ve seen this done hundreds of times and even did this when I was a school kid myself.