AIBU that my partner is high at 10:30am?

[Bubblyliquid]

When we met three years ago he didn't smoke at all. Two years ago it started becoming a 'thing'. We had quite a few disagreements as I didn't want to be going out with him when he'd be stinking of the stuff (I mean, before going shopping or going out for a meal he'd have to have a joint).

It's got to the point from the minute he wakes up to the minute he goes to bed he's smoking. He's got a new job after being redundant last year so we're not able to say if he's able to hold it down or not.

He says that it's normal that most people smoke it.. nothing to be embarrassed over.

Are you being unreasonable that he is high at 10.30 am? Did you make him?
He is unreasonable. And an addict. Do you want to live with him like this?

He’s an addict. Break up with him.

It’s not normal! He’s a loser who’s going to fuck up your life.

I loved a smoke back in the day so not judging him as such but as an adult this would not be acceptable for me in a relationship at all. Do you have kids? That would be a major issue then.

Of course, it's not normal. I wouldn't hang around waiting to see if he can hold down that job - get rid of him.

Not reasonable behaviour from him at all.

He will not change unless he wants to AND gets help.

Who’s funding this habit? Is this how you want your life to be?

Not normal at all. Assume that you have no future together.

Unless he grows his own he supports gang crime, cuckooing and county lines. As well as being a drugged up saddo.

I think you can do better. Dispose of him.

Not a relationship I’d want to be in, if he wasn’t willing to seriously cut back. I take recreational drugs occasionally but, you know, in the evening before going clubbing, not at 10:20 in the morning before my team meeting. Marijuana smells grim at the best of times, let alone if you have to smell it on him all day long everyday.

Raise your standards and dump this loser.

No judge about recreational use of weed here really but 1030am and all day? Yanbu. You wouldn't have a vodka at 1030 and I know toxicologically their completely different but still.

I would encourage him to think about cutting right back, therapy or break up with him. They'll be a reason he's doing it.

I know lots of people who smoke - some of them smoke a lot. None of them smoke like that. IME it is definitely not normal.

He's got a new job after being redundant last year so we're not able to say if he's able to hold it down or not.

1 - WE? You mean "So I have no idea if he'll hold it down or not"

2 - Who has been paying for his weed for all of this time?

3 - Has the same person also been paying for his other living expenses, rent, food etc?

Is this what you want for the rest of your lfe?

You'd be crazy to stay with this guy.

Been there and ended it and hes never changed! Same with other friends. Would you get up and have a wine at 1030 or a line of coke at 1030?

I am no angel but no one needs to be smoking day and night 😴

it unreasonable that he's high... end of!

Get rid, my personal experience is he stopped smoking of his own accord and pretty much overnight became an alcoholic. After 4 years of hoping he could stop, I am now a single mum

He's a loser.

Definitely NOT normal!!

Dump him now.

I know a lot of people on MN have strong feelings about weed, so I thought I'd post from a smoker's perspective. I enjoy smoking weed the same way most people enjoy drinking alcohol. However - smoking all day every day is not normal, it's a sign of psychological dependency. Imo he either needs to cut right back himself, quit entirely if he can't manage to regulate his usage, and/or seek therapy to address the root of his issues. For a lot of people, if they are smoking too much there is a reason they are trying to avoid sobriety/normal life (much like drinking too much). If it's affecting his ability to hold down a job then that would be ultimatum time for me.

He's a loser. Get rid.

Eugh the smell alone would be enough for me to have bagged his stuff up and put it on the driveway. He’s an addict now- you’ve lost the guy you first met.

Get rid he’ll only bring you misery.

@blackcurrantjam

We’ve had so many similar discussions. He says I enjoy a drink and he has a joint to ‘relax’.

I say that I’m not hiding around the back of the garage taking shots. I’m not drinking during the day and I’m have a couple of glasses of wine a couple of evenings a week. I’m certainly not turning my camera off during a zoom meeting to get my fix.

Apparently I can’t judge as I wouldn’t be able to quit alcohol —I could but I have no need to, or want to—.

He’s used every excuse in the book that he’s ‘not a typical stoner’ as he does chores around the house when he’s high and doesn’t watch cartoons. Apparently everyone smokes it and he’s promised not to smoke it directly near me.

Eww he sounds gross! Stinking of weed all the time, potentially not holding down a job?! Not much of a life partner and very very unsexy.

I hope you don't have kids seeing this. Raise your bar and dump the stoner before you get pregnant.