AIBU that my partner is high at 10:30am?

[Bubblyliquid]

When we met three years ago he didn't smoke at all. Two years ago it started becoming a 'thing'. We had quite a few disagreements as I didn't want to be going out with him when he'd be stinking of the stuff (I mean, before going shopping or going out for a meal he'd have to have a joint).

It's got to the point from the minute he wakes up to the minute he goes to bed he's smoking. He's got a new job after being redundant last year so we're not able to say if he's able to hold it down or not.

He says that it's normal that most people smoke it.. nothing to be embarrassed over.

Ok so at age 17/18 I used to smoke occasionally as in once a week or so but by the age of 20 I was no longer doing it. Now at age 36 I don’t know of a single person who smokes it and haven’t for at least 15 years if not more

So not not normal whatsoever at all at least not in my suburban, adult life 🤔

This is entirely unreasonable and I say that as someone who doesn't mind others who smoke despite not doing it myself. Honestly at 10:30am!

Why are you with this guy? It sounds dreadful and he is in denial.

Hang on - just over a week ago you were complaining about him being 'too nice'

My DP is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. Always going out of his way to do nice things for me and I’m sure they’ll be a lot of people telling me to suck it up

What's going on?

I certainly don’t think it’s reasonable that he’s smoking weed all day no. The people I’ve known in my life who have been heavy weed users have experienced long term mental health problems as a result.

Replace the word 'smoke' with the word 'alcohol' - now do you think you're being unreasonable?

He sounds like a pathetic man-child who needs to grow up.

Yeah I like a spliff too, but would you start drinking at 10am?

Things like alcohol and weed are definitely for the evening if you do them at all - not the middle of the morning

I’m certainly not turning my camera off during a zoom meeting to get my fix.

If he’s doing that then I think you probably can say whether he’s going to hold that new job down.

OP, is it unreasonable that you are with a loser? What do you think the answer is?

What 1030am has to do with it i don't know.

He now smokes weed. Hes said he won't stop.

People change.

Stop nagging him and make a decision about whether you accept it or not.

I wouldn't because I made a similar mistake 10 years ago and my life was worse for it. Where do you want to be in 3 years? With him and still going round in circles wprrying about if he can hold down a job or moving forward with life? Married? Pregnant? Own home?

One thing can tell you from experience is men like that don't respect doormat that cajole and ask and beg them to change and eventually he will probably dump you for nagging (unless it suits him better to let you pay for everything and tidy up after him). Or you could dumphim because you're no longer compatible with your head held high. From experience I know what is choose.

Dump this waster

You’re not BU and life is way too short for this shit.

I also have no problem with weed recreationally but all day every day is not recreational.

Get rid.

Honestly I couldn’t be arsed with that shit in my life (your partner and weed) this is a huge amount to do with your self worth! How much do you value yourself and what do you think you deserve?

Good grief. This is really all you expect out of a partner and your life? Why would you settle for this?

You’ve posted two threads about this guy, do you really think he’s the best you can do?

OP yes exactly. The fact is it's just not really a great idea. And going forward - kids? Job? I'm genuinely have very little judgement about the substance itself but all day everyday should be reserved for students or sitting in a hammock on a beach in Thailand, although of course that has its own risks and it's not the 90s anymore so I don't even know if that still happens

Does he smoke cigarettes OP?

Would be a complete deal breaker for me. No matter how cool and non judgemental some people want to appear the supply of drugs is deeply entwined in organised crime. It's not socially acceptable. Get rid.

I don't know anyone who smokes weed. It certainly isn't the norm.

@BIWI

Hang on - just over a week ago you were complaining about him being 'too nice'

My DP is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. Always going out of his way to do nice things for me and I’m sure they’ll be a lot of people telling me to suck it up

What's going on?

Fast turnaround of your DP's behaviour Op!

Tedious, stinky pothead. Get rid.

It's not normal. If he has to get high to this extent then he's lost his sense of proportion and could lose his job too. Sounds like he's on a downward spiral OP and it's up to you if you want to stand by while he gets worse. Not good if he can't see this.

@BIWI

Hang on - just over a week ago you were complaining about him being 'too nice'

My DP is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. Always going out of his way to do nice things for me and I’m sure they’ll be a lot of people telling me to suck it up

What's going on?

Interesting.