Hen Party Abroad

[Strawbfields]

Hey,

I am a bridesmaid for a good friend who is absolutely insisting on having a 4/5 night hen party abroad in the summer holidays next year. Like the majority of us, I have been unable to get away with my OH or family due to the pandemic and I'd rather prioritise my family. The cost is looking to be in the region of £1000PP by the time we factor in the holiday cost, spending money and all the added extras that come with hen parties. (The brides DM is covering the brides cost)

I just think with everything that we have all gone through over the last year, it would be far better to hire out a lodge with hot tub etc and have a great time in the UK at a 1/4 of the cost.

It might also be worth mentioning the wedding has been postponed by a year due to the pandemic and a few of the girls circumstances have changed. If the wedding itself was abroad then that would be completely different, but I think it's a bit much just for a hen weekend. AIBU?

I'd rather spend the day having the boiler serviced

Is that a euphemism? 👀

It would be more honest for them to send out cards saying 'Save the date, and at least two grand'.

@Strawbfields

UPDATE

Bride has messaged me and I've been demoted from Bridesmaid duties. I won't post her message word for word because it's really upsetting but she's mentioned the fact that I've missed "wedding talk zoom nights" (there has been 3, for 2 of them I was working nightshift in hospital and the 3rd I had just gotten home from a 12.5hr day shift and regrettably fell asleep) so she said my lack of interest in the wedding coupled with my "lack of enthusiasm and pessimistic attitude towards the hen" means I am not what she expects of a bridesmaid and would prefer I wasn't involved going forward. She did however say I was "welcome" to attend as a guest.

I'm waiting for a camera crew to burst through my front door and tell me I've been punked

This is hilarious. Fantastic entertainment. She's gone bridezilla mad. I assume she was sane once

So if you’ve been demoted and cast out of the group why is the groom now involved and telling you off from the sidelines via OH?

Surely they don’t think this will persuade you to change your mind!! It’s clear this is the end of the road - it looks as if Gemma is just turning up the drama. Not a good look for her.

OMG what bitches and a what a twat of a fiancée. Sod them. Better off miles away from them xxxxxx

You will be able to spot them a mile off at the airport in their matching hen party t-shirts with "no ifs, no buts" hen party catch phrase printed on the back. No doubt
, grooms mothers can get shirts printed for a bargain price of another £50....

Congratulations OP for your lucky escape!

This is is bat shit behaviour.

“You’re welcome to attend as a guest”
“No ta.”

I love your OH's thumbs up reply, that's so ambiguous.

Out of interest, was the hen night in a hotel or villa, maybe the reason they're extra mad is they'll now have to pay more for their share (rather than because they'll miss you).

It's absolutely flipping mental! I've read posts and articles plenty of times about bridezillas but never expected I'd be ones target lol!

I am almost certain they must have had a few drinks today/tonight because this whole carry on has just become such a pantomime that I can't picture any sane sober person behaving like this!?

Hey @crankysaurus it was self catering apartments in a hotel, the price was based on 4 sharing a room, 1 double bed and 1 sofa bed.

So that will be the same costs split fewer ways, unless a few more drop out to be fewer apartments, or maybe they've already booked them?

She must be FIZZING someone had the audacity to say.... No 🤣😂

I'd love to have been a fly on that wall today when she was told you pulled out 😂

@Notaroadrunner (I think it was you: apologies if it wasn't): RTFT? 27 pages? Are you shitting? Who in the actual *fuck has that much time...?

Bullet dodged OP! Thank you so much for updating us. Personally I’d be quite happy with how things have turned out.

What - a grand for 4 or 5 nights on a sofa bed.

Bloody hell

I cannot believe their behaviour. People never cease to amaze me.

Keep is updated! Good entertainment! And give your oh a high 5 from me! True legend he is!!!

So first BZ (bridezilla) got her mummy to try to make you go along and then when that didn’t work got her husband to be to get your husband to fall into line. You’ll be on Santa’s naughty list soon, and the bogeyman will get you. Do they let children get married these days?

Yep I agree with everyone saying you dodged a bullet - to be honest, if you haven't already had a wedding invitation, I have my doubts that you'd get one now anyway, which will save you having to think about going - but yeah, if you do, stand firm and decide you're washing your dog that day or something.

I can't stand bridezillas. Or anyone who thinks that "their special day" should come at the expense of everyone they know!

She'll invite you to the evening do with a tacky poem telling you to hand her cash.

Just nope out of that one, too. Gotta get the boiler serviced or file your nails or something.

@Strawbfields

It's absolutely flipping mental! I've read posts and articles plenty of times about bridezillas but never expected I'd be ones target lol!

I am almost certain they must have had a few drinks today/tonight because this whole carry on has just become such a pantomime that I can't picture any sane sober person behaving like this!?

I absolutely can

The things I know of from weddings I've been to

A couple who stropped because someone from another country didn't come after a death in her family. They actually sent an email, which I saw, saying how disappointing it was for them AND that they couldn't get back the cost of her food, which they listed as about £140. Her husband was going to come alone but cancelled after that. We were angry on their behalf and did a charity donation in lieu of gift.

A couple who cunningly passed all the hen and stag do costs to individuals saying "can you just get this, I'll pay you later". They had told the invitees that everything was paid for. It was written on my invitation as well as being told in advance. I realised we'd been had so I said "oh, I only brought my travelcard because you said no costs." Lie - I always carried cash back then. Called in sick the day of the wedding. Never heard from them again.

Numerous bridesmaids stories of being lumbered with huge costs.

Sorry to say, people I am still friends with did that thing of an 11am wedding with no food till about 6pm. But this seems to be a norm.

Two friends also tried to get angry with me for refusing to help hand decorate hen night invitations. I was working about 60 hours a week at the time.

By the time I hit 25, I had told my friends, I won't be your bridesmaid or help with your wedding.

I know for sure that one friend wanted me to do it, and she wouldn't even let the BMs wear pashminas on a freezing day. I did help with photos on the day, but that didn't need prep and I was well wrapped up!

Well done op for what you’ve done. She can enjoy her hen and wedding. She might fall off her pedestal at some point. Others can pick her up

@Marilla27

I had this a few years ago where the bride & her sister had arranged the hen for 4 days in Nice and when we there they'd arranged an expensive spa day with treatments, booked top restaurants, etc. The bride's sister who has a boutique had taken our card details and arranged it all - in settling up she hit us up for just under £4K. The gift list was really expensive too. Later we found out as an influencer she'd got deals but basically fleeced us and hadn't even asked for permission to plaster our faces all over instagram. Luckily not all brides are so mercenary.

What would have happened if you physically didn't have £4k? I mean, you just didn't have that kind of limit on your card, not that I'd ever handed over my card details for a thing like this, but what if you didn't have that limit?

Jesus Christ. I just can't believe people like that actually exist.