A different take on wearing PJs outside the house

[Smartiesmaltesers]

I started reading a thread about wearing PJs to the supermarket and just commented on it. Admittedly I haven't read the whole thread yet or any similar threads.

I just wanted to offer a different perspective on this that perhaps people may not have considered, and I would be really interested to know what others think. I've never started a Mumsnet thread before so I hope I'm doing it right.

I have fibromyalgia, sciatica and about six different mental health conditions that severely impact my life. I try very hard but I barely function.

I find getting dressed extremely difficult and stressful no matter how much help I get from the mental health team or how hard I try. PJs are far more comfortable for me than regular clothes. Leaving the house is like climbing Mount Everest. Having the stress of getting dressed AND leaving the house or going to a Zoom call makes me avoid doing these things.

If lots of other people started wearing PJs and dressing gowns outside or on Zoom calls, I would feel it was acceptable for me to do it too without feeling judged. I did once go out in my pyjamas and a coat for a walk at night but felt like everyone was looking at me and judging me.

I would bet a lot of people with mental health conditions and/or physical heath conditions feel the same as me and avoid going out or joining Zoom calls for this reason when it could in fact be beneficial for us to do these things.

In fact I feel so strongly about this that I would like to make wearing PJs outside a thing!

AIBU?

Does anybody else see any parallels between clothing and sexual assault and pyjamas and judging. Victim blaming if you like.

None whatsoever. And as a repeated victim of sexual assault I find this comment very insulting.

@Feedingthebirds1

The problem I have with most people wearing pjs in the supermarket is that the pjs (and the dressing gown, and the slippers) often look filthy. It's one thing saying but my pjs are clean, why does it matter, compared to whole families who look like they've been wearing the same clothes for days. (Yes, I judged.)

I have not been wearing PJs to the supermarket but have been in the same unwashed clothes for the past week as my depression is bad right now. I have not taken them off at all. I don't care.. I am not capable of caring right now. Judge away.

It's pretty rare to see people outside wearing pyjamas generally. I don't think it's much of an issue. Doubt a few people wearing pyjamas outside makes much of a difference to anyone. Yes some people will judge, but those that judge will enjoy the feeling of being judgemental anyway. I don't see a massive trend towards people wearing pyjamas outside. It's a bit like seeing women breastfeeding outside in public areas. People have really strong opinions but in reality hardly see it.

@PleaseStopExplaining

Big hugs *@Smartiesmaltesers* Mumsnet can be a terrible place to share disability stuff. I hope the ableism on this thread hasn’t upset you too much.

There have been lots of people who also say they are disabled, express sympathy but shared why they feel there is value in not wearing pj’s outside. It’s just opinions.

Amber You are quite right. I was trying to be helpful but it just shows how far outside most people's experience this is.

PJ’s at the school gates has nothing to do with MH and everything to do with being slovenly.

I have ME but if I don’t have the energy to get dressed then I won’t have the energy to go out either.

@justanotherneighinparadise

I suspect it’s not about not having any loungewear it’s the discomfort and mental effort that is required to ‘get dressed’.

See this @ZeroFuchsGiven? Empathy. An excellent quality.

OP if you want a totally different take on wearing PJs to the supermarket it might cheer you up slightly to know there is a whole religion based around it Dudeism or at least we venerate The Dude from The Big Lebowski who is first seen wearing his PJs and bathrobe in a supermarket whilst buying some cream for his white Russian cocktail. So if you get tired of the uptight squares of MN and want to chill with some dudes then join us.

Really hope wearing PJs out and about isn't something that becomes normalised.

It's cruel to judge people going out in nightwear??

Okay then

I havent read the whole thread but I'm sorry you're struggling OP, it sounds really tough.

Genuine question, taking the physical disabilities/limitations out of it, every therapist I've ever seen suggest getting washed and dressed every morning actually improves mental health. Do you agree?

@Bloodypunkrockers

It's cruel to judge people going out in nightwear??

Okay then

I agree. It's also apparently uptight.

There are clear physical and psychological benefits to getting washed and dressed of a morning. If you can’t manage that, then wearing lounge wear to bed would be far easier than trying to change the rest of society.

This is the problem with progressive politics and I say that as a progressive. The so-called solutions are always some cack handed stream of consciousness crap that someone just made up off the top of their head that they insist you not look too closely at by just interjecting about shame and being judged.

It's literally bad for people's mental health to wear pyjamas out of the house. For some section of the population the physical health limitations outweigh the mental health effects but in order for the OP to feel better we need to normalise something that is dirty, slovenly and bad for people's mental health.

@Gwenhwyfar I know. I'm still reeling from the news that nearly half the population is "infested" with threadworms!

@DudeistPriest

OP if you want a totally different take on wearing PJs to the supermarket it might cheer you up slightly to know there is a whole religion based around it Dudeism or at least we venerate The Dude from The Big Lebowski who is first seen wearing his PJs and bathrobe in a supermarket whilst buying some cream for his white Russian cocktail. So if you get tired of the uptight squares of MN and want to chill with some dudes then join us.

Now that sounds like a thread I can get on board with! I LOVE the Big Lebowski! I might rewatch it to cheer myself up. Thank you! 😁

@DudeistPriest

OP if you want a totally different take on wearing PJs to the supermarket it might cheer you up slightly to know there is a whole religion based around it Dudeism or at least we venerate The Dude from The Big Lebowski who is first seen wearing his PJs and bathrobe in a supermarket whilst buying some cream for his white Russian cocktail. So if you get tired of the uptight squares of MN and want to chill with some dudes then join us.

I realise I need to adopt a Dudeist attitude of 'Well that's just like, your opinion man!' It would certainly make my life a lot easier in all respects!

@Smartiesmaltesers Far out dude! Another convert to the world's slowest growing religion!

Apologies to everyone for being a pain and sorry for starting the second thread which has now been deleted. I was asked why I'd started another thread. I have schizoaffective Disorder which causes me to get episodes of psychosis and hear voices/feel that people are talking about me all the time, etc. It's bike and I fight with it every second of every day. I realise that I should be posting on mental health boards and not bringing my problems to Mumsnet. Sorry everyone x

I meant vile, not bike! X

There are excellent Mental Health boards on here too @Smartiesmaltesers, don't feel like you're not welcome!

How about an evening shower and change of clothes OP? You could wear something like a baggy t shirt and leggings/yoga pants to sleep in so you don't have worry in the morning about sorting things out.

I don't think the issue is PJs exactly, more that unless you're physically incapacitated you should be having a wash and changing your clothes every 24 hours.

@EvilOnion

There are excellent Mental Health boards on here too *@Smartiesmaltesers*, don't feel like you're not welcome!

Thank you, that's very kind. I'm really embarrassed about all this. Thank you.

@Feedingthebirds1

The problem I have with most people wearing pjs in the supermarket is that the pjs (and the dressing gown, and the slippers) often look filthy. It's one thing saying but my pjs are clean, why does it matter, compared to whole families who look like they've been wearing the same clothes for days. (Yes, I judged.)

You’ve seen multiple entire families wearing overtly dirty pyjamas to the shops? Where on earth do you live that this is a common sight?

I can’t imagine feeling anything other than sad to see that.