DH just told 4 year old ‘being a grown up was rubbish’

[UserB]

AIBU to really object to this? DD was playing around saying she wished she was grown up and DH said ‘You don’t want to be a grown up, being a grown up is rubbish’!!! I’m so annoyed with him, what a stupid thing to say! He says he meant enjoy being a child, obviously I agree with that, but why say something so negative? I don’t really know where it came from either, he has a very stressful job, but we have a lovely life and are in general very happy. He thinks I am totally over the top to be annoyed that he said it and tell him it was a silly thing to say. So AIBU?

He's right mostly. Some bits are good but there's a lot that isn't.
Lots of responsibilities. When you're little mum and dad look after you and take care of you (for most kids anyway).

Being a child is also a bum deal though, they have their own worries and sometimes I worry about the world they're growing up in (a world I helped fashion).

It may help her grow up with a dose of reality and not be a snowflake

I've told my DS this many times! Being a grown up is completely rubbish.

He's right. Being a grownup is crap beyond belief.

I hated being a child.

I don’t understand why you’d want your child to dread growing up

Oh ffs you're being ridiculous now.

And one of the best things about being a grown up is that you don't have to deal with other kids as your peers. They can be brutal!

YABU, sounds like he hit a nerve!

Your overreaction is interesting. Was there something vicious in how he said it? Do you have difficult memories of unhappy/struggling parents (as some PP on this thread? Do you feel like you (or DD) are having to take too much emotional care of your stressed partner?

On the surface of it, YABU.

For god's sake, is that one comment going to make your child 'dread growing up'? Imagine all the things he'll hear when you're not around... you'll have a heart attack!

YABU and totally precious

YABU being a grown up IS rubbish

I don't think a 4 year old is going to be dwelling on this. You're overreacting to a light hearted throwaway comment.

Well this is a wild thread, I didn't realise so many people found being an adult 'rubbish'. I find being an adult infinitely better than being a child.

YANBU OP, it's an unnecessarily negative thing to say to a child.

Wow, there are a lot of people here who had wonderful childhoods and shitty lives now. How odd!

I agree with your DH.

Being a human being is shit. I'm coming back as a cat next time.

I don't think you're being unreasonable, OP. I found it extremely depressing as a kid when adults told me "school days are the best days of your life." I was miserable at school and that definitely didn't make me less miserable. You know your kid best, but I would have probably taken that quite literally as a child and been disheartened by it.

I thought being a child was rubbish and I love being a grown up! Sounds like maybe you're worried he's unhappy with his life and you're upset by that. I can kind of understand where you're coming from.

YABU He's preparing her for the future.

You sound unreasonable and hard work.

I try to teach the children to have a positive mindset

This has to be authentic though. It comes across that you would rather your DH lied, rather than say what was true for him in that moment.

YABVU unless he preempted the conversation by saying

“Now sit down son, I’ve got something very important to tell you that you must remember for the rest of your life....”

I had a shit childhood and a happy adulthood. I still don't think there's the slightest problem with this popular lighthearted joke with a child.

I quite enjoy adulthood. I'm still aware that there's a lot of responsibilities I have as an adult that a child (in this country at least) doesn't have.

It's a flippant comment. It's unlikely she'll remember it, never mind take it to heart. You are massively overreacting.