DH just told 4 year old ‘being a grown up was rubbish’

[UserB]

AIBU to really object to this? DD was playing around saying she wished she was grown up and DH said ‘You don’t want to be a grown up, being a grown up is rubbish’!!! I’m so annoyed with him, what a stupid thing to say! He says he meant enjoy being a child, obviously I agree with that, but why say something so negative? I don’t really know where it came from either, he has a very stressful job, but we have a lovely life and are in general very happy. He thinks I am totally over the top to be annoyed that he said it and tell him it was a silly thing to say. So AIBU?

Well your dh clearly doesn’t love his life...I wonder why

You are being so so ridiculous. This wouldn’t even register on my radar as something to “have words” with my dh about. Is he allowed to make any flippant comments or do you police every word that comes out his mouth?

YABU, so chill out,lots of things people say may come out wrong, and don't need monitoring.

OP: AIBU?

Everyone: Yes.

OP: No I'm not, piss off everyone.

YABU. It is rubbish - objectively - in many ways, in comparison to being a child.

Yabu and very precious.

He is absolutely right. Why are you so angry with his comment and with him?

@UserB

I don’t understand why you’d want your child to dread growing up, and make it seem a negative thing? And no I personally don’t think being a grown up is rubbish, I love my life!!

Why would a child dread growing up, they usually can't wait to grow up. We always told ours it was rubbish. Ds1 having little sleep atm with baby and a 2 year old reminded us we warned him, just a couple of days ago.

Good lord OP, of all the things in the world you're upset about this. Well being a grown up is rubbish a lot of the time - work, responsibilities, money worries, kids driving you crazy etc etc. Why do you want your DH to lie to your kids? I think it's better to be honest. You sound like really hard work. He has a stressful job, stress is rubbish. Maybe you have an easier life than him, I don't know.

You want them to be excited about life.
Isn't that setting them up for diapointment when they realise there is only a small percentage of grown up life that's exciting.
You'd be better off instiling a sense of being their own person and achieving their goals in a way that makes them happy in life.

YABU

@UserB

I don’t understand why you’d want your child to dread growing up, and make it seem a negative thing? And no I personally don’t think being a grown up is rubbish, I love my life!!

She's not going to 'dread' it!

You are way over-reacting.

I think this is about you. You're pissed he's not skipping around the garden with you.

My children never listen to my pearls of wisdom anyway!

He isn’t wrong! I don’t want to be a grown up. It IS rubbish!!

You’re overreacting IMO. Just a silly comment, I wouldn’t have batted an eyelid.

He's not wrong. And yes, you are totally over reacting.

It is rubbish!

He is right being an adult absolutely sucks sometimes. I have a wonderful life, and wouldn't change (much if) anything about it but still I would love to go back to Nursery and play with the paints, go home to a very 80s beige 'tea' and play outside with my friends. Yes, please!

I don't think one comment is going to make her dread growing up.

I would hate to be a child again, personally. I can think of little worse.

Sorry but it is rubbish compared to being a child :)

You’re over reacting and probably taking it as a personal slight as his life is with you and you feel a bit like he’s saying his life with you is rubbish
Not true! Don’t you wish you were a kid sometimes?? Someone to run your life, no worries, massive pleasure in a Disney film and a chocolate biscuit? No cleaning , cooking, money to earn, stuff to organise? Learning about stuff because that’s what you need to do? Being a kid is great, being a grown up is a lot harder obviously!

I am amazed at how many people think being a grown up is rubbish! I have a pretty shitty hard life compared to most people I know (though lots have worst lives, I just don't know those people ). But even I can see there are loads of great things about being a grown up compared to a kid. Autonomy, choices, loads of interesting things to do and go to that you can't do as a kid, no homework, more ability to deal with or get away from bullies - even if you have to change job - and the bullies are far less likely to beat you up. Sex. Pubs. Being a grown up is great! And I don't even have a job I like!

I tell my 8 year old DS this all the time. I would much rather be 8 than be a grown up.

I found being a child was fairly rubbish. On balance, adulthood has been a lot better than childhood. I do see your point, OP. There’s a time and place for a ‘life occasionally sucks’ comment and it’s maybe not when someone’s very small. I’d have maybe said ‘yes, there’s a lot of fun stuff about being a grown up, but being a kid is great too, what do you like most etc’ and maybe then said ‘it’s also very serious and responsible being grown up’. I got the message clear as day that my folks really struggled with adulthood, which was sad.