Friend offering money so a group of us can go on holiday! AIBU?

[Cinderstella]

DH’s friend and partner - have a lot more in terms of material things than DH and me. Bigger house in better area, cars, motorbikes, electric bicycles etc. He is always offering us stuff and it’s getting out of hand now. Thing is we have enough money to buy these things if we wanted them but we don’t. We like to live as simply as possible, not wasting money or resources but we feel that they only see us as the poorer couple which we are not by any means. They won’t be told either. At first we saw it as him being kind but since the latest gesture we are extremely irritated and annoyed.
He actually offered to buy my DH a better vehicle than he has so that we could go on holiday with them. DH quietly declined his request but privately he was furious as was I. DH, friend and partner have known each other a long time and DH doesn’t like to upset the apple cart but I really don’t want to have anything to do with “friends” like this. I feel that they are taking the piss big time. AIBU?

Let Dh and him go on holiday together then. And leave the wife's out of it.

18:29Cinderstella

I think you are one of the few who understand our predicament@snakeface. Hallelujah! 😊

Doesn't help much though, does it? 🤔😊

We were 'lucky' cos they didn't live that near us, so we could avoid them.

Maybe, just maybe, this friend came from a family who expressed affection through "stuff," and this is just a natural expression of affection for the pair of you.

Regardless, you and your DH probably need to have a gentle talk with him, telling him that, although you deeply appreciate the things that he offers you, you also find that it puts the friendship on an unequal footing, and that you fear it will eventually strain things...which you do not, under any circumstances, want to happen.

Next time they offer something hand them details of your favourite charity and say 'if you have income to spare we would rather you helped someone who really needs it - here is details of a charity we support'

'He’s very pushy ...partner looks down her nose at me...can be nasty on the sly '
These are not the descriptions of friends!

Going on holiday with them would be miserable for all of you.

I think that you are right - this is a friendship for your DP not a couple thing.

Maybe your partner and the original friend need to see each other alone. If the DP isn't nice to you then why are you spending time with them anyway?

It certainly isn't a kindness if the OP and her husband don't wish nor need their "generosity".
Why shouldn't the OP be entitled to say no thanks.

Sounds to me like the OP has boundaries and these people do not and can't accept NO.

Why are THEIR feelings more important.

They have offered and been told no thanks repeatedly.

The sound vulgar and obtuse.

His ego and wish to be the big generous man is NOT the OP's problem.

Coupled with the girlfriend being a PITA the OP is perfectly reasonable in not wanting to go on holidays with them.

Leave your husband to his friendship and tell him crack on.