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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Neighbour won't half in for fence

476 replies

thunderandbangs · 18/03/2021 20:36

I spoke to my neighbour over the back from me about a year ago to see if she'd be willing to half in for the back fence (fence at back of her garden, fence at back of ours) and she said yes that would be fine and to give her a quote when we had it.

Then Covid happened so we have just gotten round to it. I went over to give her quote (150 each) the other night. She then said that actually the fence at the back was our priority to fix and pay for as the posts are on her side of the garden! Confused

I said I don't think that's how it works and she said that the two fences at the left and right of her garden were her responsibility as the posts were in the neighbours garden therefore she gets the 'pretty' side of the fence meaning it's her responsibility. But as the fence at the back of the garden posts are in her garden and we get the 'pretty' side of the fence it is our responsibility.

She said she can't just go around halfing in for the upkeep of other peoples things and when the time comes she won't ask her neighbours to on either side either.

AIBU to think this is absolutely bonkers? Trying to find out if there's anything I can do to ensure she pays half as that is not how it works. She has a responsibility as well as we do.

OP posts:
GabsAlot · 20/03/2021 01:21

[quote Desnol]@GabsAlot
You never heard about party wall agreements? Here's a link for you:- www.gov.uk/party-walls-building-works

As for the rest of your post, please stop embarrassing yourself. It doesn't do much for your self image.[/quote]
what are you on about. Read your own link dear

Desnol · 20/03/2021 02:04

@Haydenjaydenokayden The more you squirm, the more I laugh. Visions of aggressively squawking chicken come to mind. LOL! How old are you really?

Hollyhocksarenotmessy · 20/03/2021 07:16

Am I the only one who thinks the 'ugly' side is the best side?

  • more visually interesting
  • less like being trapped in a stalag compound
  • You can fix things to the fence (plant supports, bird feeders, whatever)
  • Come the zombie apocalypse, or burglars, they can't easily climb in, but you can climb out if need be.
Allington · 20/03/2021 07:26

You'd happily create years of unpleasantness with a neighbour, harass them over 1" of land, just because they have chosen not to pay for the fence you want?

Wow.

Thank goodness you're not my neighbour.

orangecinnamon · 20/03/2021 07:39

@Desnol

Oh just stop harrassing the OP! There's a strong element of a vicious mob mentality in many of the posts I read over the last 10 or so pages, these posters should be ashamed of themselves.

Everyone seems to have forgotten that a year ago the owner of the fence agreed to share the costs of a new fence with the OP. And then she went back on her word. Her explanation was wrong - she claimed that the fence wasn't hers because the posts were on her side. If I were the OP, I would have felt aggrieved - by a capricious "girl" who doesn't take her own commitments seriously.

Perhaps some of you are right to call the OP out for referring to the woman fence owner as "the girl", but this woman has demonstrated her immaturity by agreeing and then going back on her word without a proper explanation. A mature person would certainly have done that! This woman didn't. If immaturity isn't the explanation, the only other explanation is that the fence owner is a liar, deliberately provoking upset!

What do these vicious posters have to say about that? Nothing - they conveniently ignore that fact, because they're enjoying the act of collective bullying.

The story is now clear for anyone who followed it:- the whole argument is based on a misunderstanding and ignorance of legal facts - now we know that the offending fence belongs to the woman across the back fence, and it's entirely up to her whether she wants to replace it or not, as long as it is not infringing on OP's property.

The OP will be doing the woman a favour by going round to tell her that the fence in fact belongs to her and she can do with it whatever she wants.

If the OP wants to build her own fence, of course she can - on her own property - all she has to do is to build it one inch on her side of the fence. One might say that the woman on the other side will benefit - all she has to do is remove her old rickety fence in order to get a new one. But that isn't quite so simple - she will never be allowed to paint it - it's not her fence and is one inch beyond her property boundary. Also, the OP could legitimately complain about any encroachment on her land - all the one inch of it - be debris, e.g. leaves, or pets, or even plants.

Therefore, in my view, it isn't really in the interests of either party to have a second fence which is entirely on OPs land. Just imagine "F OFF" could be painted on the other side of OPs fence for "the girl" to discover if she takes her fence down... only joking :-)

The OP would be wise to go over and talk with the woman owner of the fence, say that she looked up the title deeds, that the fence is in fact her property. She can then say that it's her choice whether to replace the fence or not - but if she doesn't, then the OP will build her own fence on her own land, and the "girl" or woman, if you prefer, will not be allowed to touch it, paint it, encriach on it in any way, and the only way she can reasonably do so is to maintain a second fence of her own on the boundary line. Which would be a waste... not green, not good for hedgehogs or other wildlife, etc.

OP could also say - if they can agree to replace the old fence with a new one - they could share costs and save themselves a lot of future hassle. If the owner of the fence agrees, get it in writing, call it a Party Wall Agreement (look it up). The OP could then produce a quote - but the fence owner might want to get more quotes, which is OK, as long as they can both agree on a budget and the look of the fence.

Ultimately, the OP is in a better position - if the fence owner strings her along, there's nothing to stop her from building her own fence on her side of the boundary.

Good luck OP.

How unnecessary.. you seem quite invested in this!

Then Covid happened so we have just gotten round to it. I went over to give her quote (150 each) the other night.

I'm sure it is not so terribly urgent after a year that it needs sorting straight away. It was a simple misunderstanding about boundaries. No drama , gloating or extra visits required from OP a simple note through the door will suffice.

The fence has waited a year so far.

Seymour5 · 20/03/2021 08:29

We've installed concrete posts with panels that slot in, easy to replace in the future. The posts were sunk on our side of the boundary, because we wanted a fence that looks decent, and the neighbours get the same view, aren't they lucky!

butitsmyinsurance · 20/03/2021 09:01

When I bought my house one of the fences was in a poor state. My neighbour came over one day and said I own the crumbling fence and he wants me to pay to replace the entire fence.
I had only lived in the house a couple weeks at that point and I told him I would look into the situation. I and he could clearly see their trees and shrubs growing into the fence and pushing it into my garden breaking the panelling. They also have ivy growing all over their side and coming into my garden which I have to constantly cut back but it's breaking up the wood in the fence. On my side there is nothing but gravel (no plants near that fence nothing causing the fence damage). Over the next few months I saw their adult son (who still lives at home) and his friends kick things into the fence. When they had a tree on the boundary line felled (without warning me at all) the tree bits were falling all over the fence damaging it further. Bits also fell into my garden, onto my garage and house and they said nothing to me at all about the mess they had made at my property. I had to clear it all up.
I've looked on my deeds and I can't see who owns that fence. My deeds show I own other ones on the other side of my house. They have damaged what they are saying is my fence and they didn't even offer to go halves they expect me to pay for the whole thing. I've refused. Not only do I not feel I need to replace a fence they've clearly damaged, but any new fence I install I think they would continue to damage. They're angry trying to tell me I HAVE to pay for this fence. I don't.
As other pp have said OP have a look at your deeds and see who owns the fence but even if the neighbour owns it you can't force her to put up a new fence. If you want a new fence then you'll likely need to pay for it yourself or maybe think about shrubs.

FoonySpucker · 20/03/2021 09:16

As other pp have said OP have a look at your deeds and see who owns the fence

Alternatively you could RTFT.

Cheeseandlobster · 20/03/2021 09:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LouMumsnet · 20/03/2021 09:48

Morning everyone.

We're just bobbing on here to, ahem, remind folk that troll hunting is very much against our Talk Guidelines and will be deleted when reported to us. Troll hunting serves no purpose except to derail threads and upset folk. As always, please contact us directly with any concerns so that we can take a look ourselves.

Thanks all.

SimplyMarvellousDarrrrrrling · 20/03/2021 10:01

@FoonySpucker

As other pp have said OP have a look at your deeds and see who owns the fence

Alternatively you could RTFT.

Noooooooooooooooooo, Where's the fun in that? We need to see if we can beat the 'cancel the cheque' record 🤣 Chants

Check the deeds

Check the deeds

Check the deeds
😊

Ohdobequiet · 20/03/2021 10:11

Too funny that you think she’s going to replace it for you Grin

FoonySpucker · 20/03/2021 10:28

@SimplyMarvellousDarrrrrrling Grin

RaginSpice · 20/03/2021 10:34

That’s not embarrassing for her at all it’s embarrassing for you.

She owns it ergo she doesn’t have to pay for it to be repaired unless she wants to. Very obviously, people don’t have to replace their own things because someone else wants them to.

Buy a new fence if you want one.

PhilCornwall1 · 20/03/2021 10:56

@thunderandbangs

Well, we have the deeds. How embarrassing for her, she owns the fence Blush. She didn't answer this morning but will be straight over once she's back from work.
It's embarrassing alright, but for you, not your neighbour. They don't have to do a thing about it and you can't make them.

Looks like you won't be getting your nice new fence then.

AuditAngel · 20/03/2021 11:49

For those saying you can never share ownership of a fence, it is unusual, but you can. In my first house the side fences were jointly owned with the relevant neighbour and I owned the end fence.

The fences were all damaged in a storm, we were discussing repairs and i read the deeds stating shared ownership. I had an appointment scheduled anyway with the solictor, so I asked him to confirm my reading of the deeds. He initially said I was wrong, but when he looked at them, he had to concede that i was right,

WombatChocolate · 20/03/2021 12:03

Shared ownership probably still doesn’t mean anyone has to pay for fence replacement at any point or pay halves.

It will still be individual choice. You can allow the fence to fall down and not replace it if you wish. A row of flower pits to mark the boundary is sufficient. If one person wants to replace that fence, then they can. The other person isn’t obliged to contribute.

The difficulty with these fence issues which come up again and again is that people have different tolerances for delapidation, damage and repair. They also have different financial positions and sometimes the timing of the cost doesn’t work for everyone involved.

The best thing that people can do regarding fences if they hope to cost share, is to talk about the fence needing work a year or two years ahead of when work will need doing. When people gave advance warning and a chance to think about it and save, they are a bit more likely to be willing to get involved. A key thin people don’t like is someone approaching them and TELLING them to contribute or feeling pressured, especially if it’s a short time frame.

Too often, people only talk to a neighbour when the fence has essentially fallen down already. It’s too late and not the right moment to have the conversation, especially if there will be sudden and immediate cost implications, especially if the neighbour had no sense that they might be asked to contribute or any responsibility.

Even by talking well in advance, you cannot compel someone else to contribute to fencing. It is all voluntary and based on goodwill. Asking in advance is more likely to help someone decide the job needs doing and consider paying and be able to pay, but it’s by no means certain or guaranteed.

If you want it done, you have to accept you will need to be willing to pay. If the neighbour Chios in, that’s a bonus.

GabsAlot · 22/03/2021 21:23

Did you get your money then op

mummylovesthesunshine · 28/03/2021 17:47

Did you get your money op, Grin

MolyHolyGuacamole · 28/03/2021 19:30

Oh, no update? 🍿

Haydenjaydenokayden · 28/03/2021 21:36

32 and someone who works in this industry, not some dumb chick on Mumsnet with a wrong opinion, stupid girl.

Haydenjaydenokayden · 28/03/2021 21:37

That was to @Desnol who has clearly deleted their profile as you can't reply/at them. Stupid little girl.

Vetyveriohohoh · 28/03/2021 21:42

Pretty sure the ‘best side’ goes to the neighbours when you own it so it’s probably hers, but bad news for you she has no obligation to do anything about it if she doesn’t want to

Whoopsmahoot · 28/03/2021 22:01

You learn something new every day 🥴 I have 2 shared fences and one on a roadside. My neighbors and I have always gone 50/50 with repairs/replacement and I have paid for the roadside one solely. Thank god for good neighbors!

Bbee29 · 28/03/2021 22:49

Check the deeds. If there’s nothing on the deeds saying who owns fence imo it should be halves. We’ve had the same issues. One side we went halves with no issues but the other side is a pain. I’ve always understood that the person with the posts are responsible particularly if it’s a problem with the actual posts.

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