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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Neighbour won't half in for fence

476 replies

thunderandbangs · 18/03/2021 20:36

I spoke to my neighbour over the back from me about a year ago to see if she'd be willing to half in for the back fence (fence at back of her garden, fence at back of ours) and she said yes that would be fine and to give her a quote when we had it.

Then Covid happened so we have just gotten round to it. I went over to give her quote (150 each) the other night. She then said that actually the fence at the back was our priority to fix and pay for as the posts are on her side of the garden! Confused

I said I don't think that's how it works and she said that the two fences at the left and right of her garden were her responsibility as the posts were in the neighbours garden therefore she gets the 'pretty' side of the fence meaning it's her responsibility. But as the fence at the back of the garden posts are in her garden and we get the 'pretty' side of the fence it is our responsibility.

She said she can't just go around halfing in for the upkeep of other peoples things and when the time comes she won't ask her neighbours to on either side either.

AIBU to think this is absolutely bonkers? Trying to find out if there's anything I can do to ensure she pays half as that is not how it works. She has a responsibility as well as we do.

OP posts:
Yesmate · 19/03/2021 21:21

How embarrassing indeed. I mean for you obviously, not her.

GoryGilmore · 19/03/2021 21:36

I think to offer to go halves is very generous

It’s not generous if you’re not the one who wants it to be done.

GoryGilmore · 19/03/2021 21:40

It’s also not generous if you try and harass someone into doing something they might not be able to afford.

AlanThePig · 19/03/2021 21:50

Just to add to all the ‘how to tell your responsible’ posts. I’m about to replace some panels tomorrow. Decided just out of interest to check the deeds and there is no mention of fences at all. No T markings, nothing written.
We assume from this it means all boundaries are jointly responsible but it does illustrate that it’s never as simple as who has what side and where posts are.

Funny things fences. Incidentally I haven’t asked my neighbour to pay. If he wants to send over a bottle of something then great but it was my choice to replace this and I don’t expect him to fund it.

justsotiredallthetime · 19/03/2021 21:52

Check your deeds before trying to 'convince her' - I wouldn't pay half of a fence if it belonged to my neighbour.

justsotiredallthetime · 19/03/2021 21:54

You sound like a knobby neighbour. Glad you're not mine! If you want the fence changing so much do it yourself...it's only £300!!

Desnol · 19/03/2021 23:00

Oh just stop harrassing the OP! There's a strong element of a vicious mob mentality in many of the posts I read over the last 10 or so pages, these posters should be ashamed of themselves.

Everyone seems to have forgotten that a year ago the owner of the fence agreed to share the costs of a new fence with the OP. And then she went back on her word. Her explanation was wrong - she claimed that the fence wasn't hers because the posts were on her side. If I were the OP, I would have felt aggrieved - by a capricious "girl" who doesn't take her own commitments seriously.

Perhaps some of you are right to call the OP out for referring to the woman fence owner as "the girl", but this woman has demonstrated her immaturity by agreeing and then going back on her word without a proper explanation. A mature person would certainly have done that! This woman didn't. If immaturity isn't the explanation, the only other explanation is that the fence owner is a liar, deliberately provoking upset!

What do these vicious posters have to say about that? Nothing - they conveniently ignore that fact, because they're enjoying the act of collective bullying.

The story is now clear for anyone who followed it:- the whole argument is based on a misunderstanding and ignorance of legal facts - now we know that the offending fence belongs to the woman across the back fence, and it's entirely up to her whether she wants to replace it or not, as long as it is not infringing on OP's property.

The OP will be doing the woman a favour by going round to tell her that the fence in fact belongs to her and she can do with it whatever she wants.

If the OP wants to build her own fence, of course she can - on her own property - all she has to do is to build it one inch on her side of the fence. One might say that the woman on the other side will benefit - all she has to do is remove her old rickety fence in order to get a new one. But that isn't quite so simple - she will never be allowed to paint it - it's not her fence and is one inch beyond her property boundary. Also, the OP could legitimately complain about any encroachment on her land - all the one inch of it - be debris, e.g. leaves, or pets, or even plants.

Therefore, in my view, it isn't really in the interests of either party to have a second fence which is entirely on OPs land. Just imagine "F OFF" could be painted on the other side of OPs fence for "the girl" to discover if she takes her fence down... only joking :-)

The OP would be wise to go over and talk with the woman owner of the fence, say that she looked up the title deeds, that the fence is in fact her property. She can then say that it's her choice whether to replace the fence or not - but if she doesn't, then the OP will build her own fence on her own land, and the "girl" or woman, if you prefer, will not be allowed to touch it, paint it, encriach on it in any way, and the only way she can reasonably do so is to maintain a second fence of her own on the boundary line. Which would be a waste... not green, not good for hedgehogs or other wildlife, etc.

OP could also say - if they can agree to replace the old fence with a new one - they could share costs and save themselves a lot of future hassle. If the owner of the fence agrees, get it in writing, call it a Party Wall Agreement (look it up). The OP could then produce a quote - but the fence owner might want to get more quotes, which is OK, as long as they can both agree on a budget and the look of the fence.

Ultimately, the OP is in a better position - if the fence owner strings her along, there's nothing to stop her from building her own fence on her side of the boundary.

Good luck OP.

Desnol · 19/03/2021 23:04

whoops typo! encriach ==> encroach

ClaudiaWankleman · 19/03/2021 23:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Hankunamatata · 19/03/2021 23:10

We wanted all our fence replacing. Didnt dream of asking neighboura to pay. But both my nice neighbours said to stick posts on their side as we were paying.

CovidCorvid · 19/03/2021 23:13

If the OP did as the previous poster suggested and put her own fence 1” her side of the boundary but not allow the neighbour to paint it, etc ultimately she would be shooting herself in the foot. A non painted/treated fence will rot very quickly. Far better to let your neighbour paint their side of it. 🤷‍♀️

Desnol · 19/03/2021 23:13

@claudiaWankleman Obviously not.

Desnol · 19/03/2021 23:22

@CovidCorvid There's nothing to stop the OP from painting the other side of the fence with whatever images or slogans she chooses before she puts it up. She could paint it bright puce with a slogan saying THIS IS MY FENCE - HANDS OFF, if she wanted to.

Painted fences don't rot that quickly. And it's perfectly possible to spray paint it with creosote (or a more ecological varnish) from above. Remember that the other side will be the "pretty" side, with all the panels conveniently sloping down and outwards.

BluebellsGreenbells · 19/03/2021 23:23

but this woman has demonstrated her immaturity by agreeing and then going back on her word without a proper explanation

She doesn’t owe the OP any explanation - she might have lost her job or had a relative die, she might be preparing for exams or is pregnant - it’s none of OPs business!!!’

It’s her fence and she can replace or repair or leave it well alone

There nothing worse than busy body neighbours who are just out for themselves!

NoseinBook3 · 19/03/2021 23:29

My lovely neighbours had the posts put on their side because we have young children. Completely their idea. It is definitely our fence to be responsible for though

Desnol · 19/03/2021 23:37

@BluebellsGreenbells She most certainly does owe the OP an honest explanation why she went back on her word. A simple "change of financial circumstances" will suffice.

But offering a false, untrue explanation is beyond the pale. It adds insult to injury.

Don't you think so?

Desnol · 19/03/2021 23:40

@BluebellsGreenbells and - just out of interest - why do you think she is a busybody?

Don't you think that talking to someone over a common interest (the shared fence) is essential? It's a legal requirement in my view.

GabsAlot · 19/03/2021 23:47

what legal requirement is that

op you sound the embarrassing one have you not read any of the links posted noone has to have a fence hence noone needs to fix any fence if they dont want to

they can take it out and leave it open if they wish

Desnol · 20/03/2021 00:05

@GabsAlot
You never heard about party wall agreements? Here's a link for you:- www.gov.uk/party-walls-building-works

As for the rest of your post, please stop embarrassing yourself. It doesn't do much for your self image.

Rachie1973 · 20/03/2021 00:11

[quote Desnol]@BluebellsGreenbells She most certainly does owe the OP an honest explanation why she went back on her word. A simple "change of financial circumstances" will suffice.

But offering a false, untrue explanation is beyond the pale. It adds insult to injury.

Don't you think so?[/quote]
No she doesn’t.

I wouldn’t discuss my financial status in any way, shape or form with a relative stranger.

There is no contract or legitimate need for the OP to push this any further.

VanGoghsDog · 20/03/2021 00:34

A fence isn't a party wall. The link you posted specifically says it's not. You might want to read your own links!

GoryGilmore · 20/03/2021 00:55

Thanks Desnol, having read your link I now know that....

Party walls stand on the land of 2 or more owners and either:

form part of a building
don’t form part of a building, such as a garden wall (not wooden fences)

Did you read your own link? Or this thread? It’s about a wooden fence. Hope that helps.

Haydenjaydenokayden · 20/03/2021 00:57

You pay for the upkeep of your fence, your neighbors on theirs. Not half half.

Haydenjaydenokayden · 20/03/2021 00:59

Desnol

You're embarrassing yourself. Stop. You clearly know nothing about deeds, fencing, boundaries etc.

Ginuwine · 20/03/2021 01:04

[quote Desnol]@GabsAlot
You never heard about party wall agreements? Here's a link for you:- www.gov.uk/party-walls-building-works

As for the rest of your post, please stop embarrassing yourself. It doesn't do much for your self image.[/quote]

Your last paragraph is unnecessarily nasty.

The irony that's lost here is that you are the one who is consistently giving out incorrect advice, yet are so strident and sure that you're in the right

It just goes to show that just as in real life, it's sometimes those who just shout something with total confidence that get heard no matter the veracity of their claim

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