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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbour won't half in for fence

476 replies

thunderandbangs · 18/03/2021 20:36

I spoke to my neighbour over the back from me about a year ago to see if she'd be willing to half in for the back fence (fence at back of her garden, fence at back of ours) and she said yes that would be fine and to give her a quote when we had it.

Then Covid happened so we have just gotten round to it. I went over to give her quote (150 each) the other night. She then said that actually the fence at the back was our priority to fix and pay for as the posts are on her side of the garden!

I said I don't think that's how it works and she said that the two fences at the left and right of her garden were her responsibility as the posts were in the neighbours garden therefore she gets the 'pretty' side of the fence meaning it's her responsibility. But as the fence at the back of the garden posts are in her garden and we get the 'pretty' side of the fence it is our responsibility.

She said she can't just go around halfing in for the upkeep of other peoples things and when the time comes she won't ask her neighbours to on either side either.

AIBU to think this is absolutely bonkers? Trying to find out if there's anything I can do to ensure she pays half as that is not how it works. She has a responsibility as well as we do.

OP posts:

m0therofdragons · 19/03/2021 15:06

My skanky neighbours had a unsecure garden and we could walk between gardens. I've shelled out 1k on a fence because of them, and lost 6" of my garden. They couldn't give a toss. they should spend less on wine and maybe they could have put a fence up themselves.

I think most of us would rather buy wine than a fence though, surely

Christmasfairy2020 · 19/03/2021 15:07

Tbh we had ours done other year to left. We had waited ages and it had fell down. Our retired wealthy neighbours did go half as I had said we was thinking of getting a fence but was saving up. They paid half 350 each and they did get the pretty side but I didn't mind tbh as I have 4 ugly sides so it kind of matches lol. U can't force her to go halves

LolaSmiles · 19/03/2021 15:07

But I'm not saying OP needs to go round there. How many times do I have to say it?!
I've not said you've said OP needs to go round.
I'm disputing your view that if the OP goes round for a third time, it would be reasonable because maybe she's only going to offer to go halves.

To remove the word 'need' as you're zooming in on this whilst arguing it's fine for the OP to go and bug her neighbour again, the OP has no reason to push the issue with her neighbour.

My point is even if that's all the OP was doing, it's unreasonable. The neighbour has said their bit.

Tiredmum100 · 19/03/2021 15:11

Maybe she can't afford a new fence right now. You're not coming across very nice OP. You sound like a bit of a bully. If you kept knocking my door demanding I pay for a new fence I probably wouldn't just to annoy you back. If you're that determined to put up a new fence just do it on your own property. We have fenced both sides of our garden, haven't asked the neighbours for any money as we want the fences we've got.

lifeinlimbo2020 · 19/03/2021 15:14

My deeds show the fences we are liable for and the side we are liable for is not the 'pretty side of the fence' and vice versa.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 19/03/2021 15:16

My skanky neighbours had a unsecure garden and we could walk between gardens.

Errrrrmmmm, how come their garden was unsecure (not entirely sure what that means) but yours wasn't?

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 19/03/2021 15:18

@thunderandbangs

Well, we have the deeds. How embarrassing for her, she owns the fence

. She didn't answer this morning but will be straight over once she's back from work.

Doesn’t matter. Still doesn’t have to maintain or repair it if they don’t want to. You can however put up a fence on your side of the boundary.

Tablegs · 19/03/2021 15:39

When we moved here, some time ago, we had a conversation with the neighbours both sides of us. It was all agreed whose fence was whose, and it was also agreed that 'the good side to the neighbour' was how the fences would be put in - ie: it might be your fence, but your neighbour shouldn't have to look at the shit side.

You need to check on the deeds, and it will be on there.

Lacucuracha · 19/03/2021 15:45

LolaSmiles Fri 19-Mar-21 15:07:23
I'm disputing your view that if the OP goes round for a third time, it would be reasonable because maybe she's only going to offer to go halves.

That's not quite what I said. You said OP is going around there to badger her, and I said you are assuming that. You don't know that.

Derbee · 19/03/2021 15:49

Do update us when you’ve accosted her straight from work, OP. I suspect you’ll be in a worse position than before. She may refuse to give you permission to replace the fence, even if you pay for it...

TeachesOfPeaches · 19/03/2021 15:51

Isn't it usually the person who owns the fence gets the ugly side

Kitkat151 · 19/03/2021 15:52

@Christmasfairy2020

This made me laugh 😂

We got the ‘ugly‘ side too.... but seeing as our neighbour paid £2k for a lovely solid fence that is ‘our’ responsibility ..... I wasn’t too bothered!
My neighbour knocked one day to ask if we minded her putting up a new fence.....we certainly didn’t mind!

( although the other fence that was already there was functional but far uglier than the ‘ ugly’ side of the new fence )

LolaSmiles · 19/03/2021 15:53

That's not quite what I said. You said OP is going around there to badger her, and I said you are assuming that. You don't know that
Not getting the answer you want one night and going round the next morning before work IS badgering her.
Wanting to go round for the THIRD time in a couple of days IS badgering her.

On what planet is it acceptable to keep going round to your neighbours several times over a couple of days to try and get them paying for something that they don't have to? Don't kid us with the 'maybe OP isn't trying to get neighbour to pay' because that's the reason she's going round.

How hard is it to leave the poor neighbour alone?

peachgreen · 19/03/2021 15:53

This thread is great. OP all delighted because her neighbour owns the boundary and now she's going to insist that neighbour puts up a new fence because SHE wants one. Classic CF behaviour. Hopefully the neighbour will start her own thread!

TatianaBis · 19/03/2021 15:54

You can always put up your own fence in front of hers if hers is in bad condition. But then obviously you'd have to pay for all of it.

MaMaD1990 · 19/03/2021 15:57

Not going to lie, the OP probably won't be coming back, I'm just here to see who wins the @LolaSmiles vs @Lacucuracha debate #teamLolaSmiles

orangecinnamon · 19/03/2021 16:01

She was just misinformed, as were you, and it seems many on this thread. No drama required. -checkthedeeds--

orangecinnamon · 19/03/2021 16:02

@LolaSmiles

That's not quite what I said. You said OP is going around there to badger her, and I said you are assuming that. You don't know that Not getting the answer you want one night and going round the next morning before work IS badgering her. Wanting to go round for the THIRD time in a couple of days IS badgering her.

How hard is it to leave the poor neighbour alone?

Yeah I would be hiding tbf

LolaSmiles · 19/03/2021 16:04

MaMaD1990
I wasn't aware there's teams

It just surprises me that it's considered ok to keep bugging someone.

Between the OP and Lacucuracha it's not hard to see how some of the awkward neighbour threads start.

Could you imagine the poor neighbour writing an AIBU if the OP goes round tonight:
My neighbour wants a new fence putting up and though I'd originally said I was interested, I'm not now. I don't mind what they do though but I'm not paying for it. They've been round to ask about it but then they were knocking at my door again this morning before they went to work. They've come round again tonight waving the deeds and telling me that it's my fence. The fence isn't in perfect condition, but it's doing it's job, I've no desire to replace it, and according to the deeds I don't have to. AIBU to wish she'd leave me alone and do what she likes in her garden?

phlebasconsidered · 19/03/2021 16:11

My neighbours had a big 10ft high hedge on our boundary. It was out of control and a pain in the arse and thorny so I politely asked them if they would mind replacing it with a fence. I offered to go halves and help them, pay for a mini digger etc.

It worked, we now have a lovely fence and we had a good weekend working with our neighbours and getting to know them better.

That's how you do this sort of thing.

WombatChocolate · 19/03/2021 16:13

These threads come up every 2 weeks.

No one can insist a neighbour replaces a fence or contributes to one regardless of whose boundary it is. A fence is not a legal requirement. Regarding a fence you can chose to replace one or not. You can choose to go halves or not. Lots of people don’t want to contribute to a fence they are not bothered about and if they have recently replaced one on another side might not feel keen to contribute to another.

All you can ever do is ask. You have to accept this is a fee will and goodwill thing and have to accept that a neighbour might say no. They are free to do so.

And re the attractive side (no struts to support it or battens holding it together, it is customary for the person replacing the fence to take the less attractive side. Yes, even though they are paying. Because they are inconveniencing the neighbour by doing work they are choosing to do, they take that side. Now again it’s not a legal thing. You can have a conversation with your neighbour about it or just get on with it.

Essentially though, if you want it done, you pay.

MaMaD1990 · 19/03/2021 16:13

@LolaSmiles There certainly are teams in my tiny mind! It's absolutely ludicrous, and I'm hoping the OP has read the comments and realised she is being a total CF, cheers up and enjoys her Friday night with a glass of wine instead of curtain twitching whilst frothing at the mouth clutching her deeds ready to pounce on her neighbour the second she gets home.

To then be told she'll have to build her own fence at her own expense.

Returnoftheowl · 19/03/2021 16:15

I'm really hoping the OP returns and outlines her plan for forcing her neighbour to replace the fence.

In my previous property (semi-detached) we were responsible for the fence between our garden and the neighbours. However our neighbours were a nightmare... Constant parties in the garden, smoking cannabis, playing thumping house music at all hours. The fence was a state thanks to a couple of bad storms, although had been repaired so was still functioning. We only bothered to get it replaced just before we put the house on the market... Why would we bother spending money on a fence when we could never go into a garden thanks to the neighbours? They were probably fed up with the fence but 💁🏻‍♀️

Maybe OPs neighbour can't see the fence from her house/doesn't spend time in the garden/many other possible reasons on why she doesn't want to replace the fence.

Mintjulia · 19/03/2021 16:22

Op, to be honest, if a neighbour "told me I had to replace my fence", I would plant a row of 6" box seedlings along the boundary and leave them for the decade it would take for them to turn into a hedge.

You might want to rethink your strategy

jebthesheep · 19/03/2021 16:26

Tbh I think the convention ( round our way at least) is that the posty side is the side the owners see. It’s considered the nice thing to do. Not a legal thing though and the documents are the key. So really what most people on here have already said. Just commented because I’m surprised that so many people seem to have it the other way locally.

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