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AIBU?

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Original poster

Neighbour won't half in for fence

476 replies

thunderandbangs · 18/03/2021 20:36

I spoke to my neighbour over the back from me about a year ago to see if she'd be willing to half in for the back fence (fence at back of her garden, fence at back of ours) and she said yes that would be fine and to give her a quote when we had it.

Then Covid happened so we have just gotten round to it. I went over to give her quote (150 each) the other night. She then said that actually the fence at the back was our priority to fix and pay for as the posts are on her side of the garden! Confused

I said I don't think that's how it works and she said that the two fences at the left and right of her garden were her responsibility as the posts were in the neighbours garden therefore she gets the 'pretty' side of the fence meaning it's her responsibility. But as the fence at the back of the garden posts are in her garden and we get the 'pretty' side of the fence it is our responsibility.

She said she can't just go around halfing in for the upkeep of other peoples things and when the time comes she won't ask her neighbours to on either side either.

AIBU to think this is absolutely bonkers? Trying to find out if there's anything I can do to ensure she pays half as that is not how it works. She has a responsibility as well as we do.

OP posts:
GoryGilmore · 19/03/2021 16:33

Not going to lie, the OP probably won't be coming back, I'm just here to see who wins the @LolaSmiles vs @Lacucuracha debate #teamLolaSmiles grin

I’ve been trying to comment in support of LolaSmiles all afternoon but the DC keep on demanding my attention, they’re very inconsiderate at times Hmm but yeah, Team LolaSmiles all the way!

MaMaD1990 · 19/03/2021 16:41

@GoryGilmore I think we know who's won the debate ; )

flumposie · 19/03/2021 16:49

If it's hers and she doesn't want to replace it then you can't make her.

FiveNightsAtMummys · 19/03/2021 16:49

Looks like there isn't going to be a new fence 🤣

WeAllHaveWings · 19/03/2021 16:53

You can't make her replace it. You can ask her to repair or remove it if it has fallen into your property.

Best you can hope for its to make it attractive to her to replace by offering to pay for part of it.

GreenSlide · 19/03/2021 16:58

Oh my god, stop badgering your poor neighbour. If you want a new fence put it up yourself on your own land.
If you kept coming round knocking my door instructing me to give you £150/replace my own fence I'd be tempted to tell you where to stick the fence posts.

CharlotteRose90 · 19/03/2021 16:58

Oo for a second I thought you were my neighbour as mine came round badgering about the fence. To be honest it is my fence but her kids kept booting a ball against it so much that 2 of them are broken. Same as I told her if you want to get it fixed you pay. You sound like a crazy person demanding things and would get the door slammed in your face.

okokok000 · 19/03/2021 17:04

It won't be embarrassing for he OP. She can just ignore your request for a new fence unless and until she wants to put a new one up. Repeatedly going round there isn't going to endear yourself to her. If anything she may just dig her heels in, I know I would if you'd raised it multiple times already.

If you feel that strongly ask if you can pay to replace the whole thing. That's what we did re a side fence when replacing ones on the other side. The old fence was falling down and yes I could have been pedantic about it, but had to take a view on it.

LifesLittleDeciders · 19/03/2021 17:38

It’s funny; because now even if you wanted to replace the fence so much you would be willing to pay the full price, you would need to go grovelling to her for permission now.

I can’t help but laugh. You think she’s going to be embarrassed? She’s going to feel smug the way you’ve badgered her.

LifesLittleDeciders · 19/03/2021 17:44

Really annoying as I don’t think OP will come back now to give us the outcome of a probably “bugger off” from her neighbour and a scorned dog reaction from OP herself.

Standrewsschool · 19/03/2021 17:47

If I was the neighbour, I’d be tempted to plant a leylandi hedge!

LifesLittleDeciders · 19/03/2021 17:58

@Standrewsschool
Or some lovely bamboo 🥲

longwayoff · 19/03/2021 18:04

You want to fall out with a neighbour over £150? That's a really cheap deal and you should grab it while you can as its important to you but not to her. And she is right. YABU.

megletsecond · 19/03/2021 18:05

m0ther oh how I judge Grin.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 19/03/2021 18:08

@Standrewsschool

If I was the neighbour, I’d be tempted to plant a leylandi hedge!
Or paint candy cane stripes like that millionaire in Kensington (documentary about it was hilarious Grin)
mummywithhermini · 19/03/2021 18:13

@Standrewsschool

If I was the neighbour, I’d be tempted to plant a leylandi hedge!
Or barbed wire
Palavah · 19/03/2021 18:32

@DenisetheMenace

I think it means the posts show on the neighbours side: no-one puts their nice, shiny new fence up with the posts on their own side.
They are supposed to - otherwise you'd need access to your neighbour's garden to maintain your fence.
SilverDragonfly1 · 19/03/2021 18:47

@LifesLittleDeciders

Really annoying as I don’t think OP will come back now to give us the outcome of a probably “bugger off” from her neighbour and a scorned dog reaction from OP herself.
I predict she will come back to tell us how the neighbour apologised and agreed to pay in full for a replacement this weekend...
SixesAndEights · 19/03/2021 18:53

@thunderandbangs

Well, we have the deeds. How embarrassing for her, she owns the fence Blush. She didn't answer this morning but will be straight over once she's back from work.
I'm chuckling here!

How funny. Grin You must let us know what she says when you point it out to her! Grin

Marpan · 19/03/2021 18:58

She doesn’t have to fix the fence.
Maybe she doesn’t have any money.
It’s you that wants a new fence.

gottakeeponmovin · 19/03/2021 19:37

Jeez - where the posts are is irrelevant - if you have a proper lap fence you have to have the petty side in order to knock the nails in without going on your neighbours land. The only way of telling is the deeds. It's really simple - forget who has the pretty side

swiftt · 19/03/2021 19:51

Well OP, did you go round again tonight?

JustAnotherBrick · 19/03/2021 20:04

When we first moved here we were utterly skint and a fence panel at the bottom of the garden was falling to bits. We owned it. Neighbour at the bottom came round and asked us if we could replace it. We just said “sorry, but we can’t afford to”. A while later he came and asked if we would mind if he got a new panel and replaced the broken one. We said we didn’t mind, he fixed it, and all was amicable. He was perfectly nice about it and so were we. No need for all this falling out and triumphant winning or losing.

The point is though, he couldn’t make us replace it or pay, and you can’t make your neighbour either, OP. In fact, if it’s her fence, you can’t just remove it and replace it without her permission.

WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo · 19/03/2021 20:38

If I were the neighbour I'd buy a new fence, paint "fuck you" in massive letters and put it up with that side facing you.

Well I wouldn't. But I'd want to.

ohhmygosh · 19/03/2021 20:59

Why are people saying she's right? The person that owns the fence has the post in their garden and therefore gets the ugly side.

Usually you own the fence to the left, if looking out into your back garden. End of the garden hmmm well it depends.

I think to offer to go halves is very generous.