Is it ever ok to wish someone dead?

[HeartsAndClubs]

Not just renouned criminals, but people who essentially co exist with us.

I think it’s fair to say that when e.g. Peter sutcliff and MAx Clifford etc died many people will have thought “good.”

And when Fred West and Harold Shipman died people would equally have been glad they were dead, but perhaps angry at the fact they took the cowardly way out.

But what about your average person who you just dislike for whatever reason?

My mum was telling me last week that she spoke to a neighbour whose brother used to be married to a family member. However, he and this woman are now estranged but only recently. He has recently been undergoing tests for a serious illness but she (the sister) doesn’t know that. My mum asked casually if she’d heard from him, and her response was “hopefully he’s dead.” and I couldn’t help thinking what an awful thing to say about anyone.

And yet I would probably think it of Peter Sutcliff, so when is it ok? Or isn’t it?

God, there are some hideous stories on this thread

My grandmother is still clinging on to life at 98 through sheer bloody determination by the looks of it. She's a twisted old bitch and is making everyone's life hell around her. Her sons and daughters have to rally around and care for her when they are all now elderly themselves and not fit. She refuses any care.

I wish her dead ASAP.

I think genuinely wishing someone dead is the line you cross between dislike and actual hatred. Which I know because there is somebody out there who if they dropped dead tomorrow I would be glad. It's not nice but there it is. They aren't nice themselves either. So.

I think it is completely normal. I frequently wish my abusive and controlling ex who continues to manipulate and bully the DC would drop off the mortal coil. And no one would miss him. Not even the DC (although they probably would conceptually).

Actively doing something about it is most definitely wrong. Obvs.

@Cocopogo

*@FAQs* that is so sad. Why would anyone think that about their mum?

Not everyone has a lovely Mum you know.

@vampirethriller
@FAQs

It is ok to wish death on a suffering relative in a hospice.
It is also ok to wish a person who causes great harm dead imo.

Actually, after reading some of the abuse stories on here, yes, you're good. I was thinking more in terms of someone you just really, really don't like.

Yes it is. Abused twice as a child, and have wished them both harm (and death) many times.

It's fine, as long as they deserve it. For example I wouldn't wish death on someone for cutting in line at the supermarket (but would probably smirk if they got run over outside) but there are a few people I would be delighted to see die in horrible ways, mainly people who've seriously wronged me over the years (bullies, abusers, people like that).

I’ve wished my stepfather dead ever since I found out, after she died, what he did to my DM. And what I found out he’d been caught doing with other men, I only hope my DM never knew.
Unfortunately my wish has still not been granted.

@0blio

When I told my counsellor I wished my ex husband was dead she told me that it was a very common and understandable emotion.

I wasn't entirely serious because if he died my children would be devastated, but I just wanted him to be out of my life and not exist any more.

I went through a period when I thought the same about my H. Mostly because he's hurt me so badly. Now I feel more sad than angry and just want to be away from him.

I think it's OK. Realistically it changes nothing and won't make anything bad happen to that person. And I doubt anyone would have those feelings without good reason.

I wished my husband dead after he moved out having threatened to kill me following years of alcohol abuse and all the associated behaviour towards our DDs.

He died within 8 months of moving out. Nothing to do with me, everything to do with his drinking and heart disease.

I often wished that my mother would quietly die in her sleep before we had to put her through the trauma of moving her to a care home - she had dementia that was reaching the stage where she was no longer safe to be left alone at all.

Alas for her, she went on for another 8 years before dying in a most pitiful state with advanced dementia, at 97.
The care home was lovely, though.

I wish my father and stepmother a terrible drawn out painful death. I hope they have time to reflect on the fact that the awfulness of their suffering may be in some way a punishment for being sick vile abusive individuals.

Yes I wish my ex would die.

It’s the only way me and my children will ever be truly safe.

@Mrgrinch

What a disgusting thing to say.

But you don't know her story and what she's been through. Pause and think before you judge.

@Aloethere

The person who abused my ds talked about how he was feeling suicidal after being found out. I wished he would do it.

Omfg I'm so sorry you and your son went through this.

Well it won’t make it happen, or make you likely to turn into an axe murderer. I suppose we all get angry with someone/ some actions and wish the worst on someone.

I visually hope for something like hemaroids or fleas.

Obviously it's easy to say you wish these horrible people would die, but ultimately I don't think wishing people dead leads you to a good place mentally (I guess that is easy for me to say relaxing at home in a safe 1st world country, but I think it is true)

I don't know. I spent many years wishing the person who abused me dead, and feeling guilty about it. When I had counselling and accepted that none of it was my fault and wishing him dead was a perfectly reasonable response I felt fine. Why would I wish him well in anyway? Between what he did and the aftermath he screwed up a large chunk of my life.

I've gone past actively wishing him dead, but if I heard he'd died, and there's a good chance I would, I'd celebrate.

I can't wait for my so called father to die, i hope he dies a painful, lonely, miserable death and then I will do a merry dance.

Well this is an interesting thread. Goes to show there will always be violence and war!

I’ve had so many relatives suffering long drawn out end of life illnesses that robbed them of their dignity, I have wished them to die quickly and peacefully but it never bloody happens. I have, sometimes wished this to happen to the few very nasty bullies I have met, but they seem to sail through life unscathed.

It’s probably not exactly “ok” in the sense it is objectively wrong, but feelings are difficult and powerful things and assuming one does not act on them then really the only person being harmed is oneself.

There are 2 people who have very badly harmed my oldest daughter and I would not mind at all if they died and I have had fleeting thoughts of actively wishing them dead. Never graphically. But thoughts wishing for their demise. I genuinely believe if I heard they had died I would feel a sense of relief. But I can’t be sure. I’d never act on it. Obviously. And I recognise that being unable to let go of these feelings is more harmful to me than it is to anyone else.

Yes I think it’s fine

As long as it doesn’t hinder your life or become all consuming

I wish my abuser dead and hope he suffers too (he had his arm broken in prison I pleased he did more so I am pleased he felt fear)

I don't have a problem with wishing someone dead.

I can think of two people I'd make it happen to, if I knew I'd get away with it.