i spoke to my dear friend on the phone for half an hour, leaving him to put dd2 to bed and fix a snack before going to a PTA meeting.
now, this friend found out 2 weeks ago that she is 28 weeks pregnant. her world has been turned upside down. she's in her 40s and assumed she'd never have children. she's actually v happy, but has been overwhelmed by calls from well wishers so has not wanted to talk about it till now.
she rang me tonight, just before dd2 was due to go to bed. i had put dd1 to bed already, as she's poorly. now of course, 7pm is rarely a good time for phone calls, but i just couldnt bring myself to tell her to call back. i was so glad to hear from her and wanted to be there for her.
instead of fixing himself a snack, dh seemed to think that he couldnt think about food till i came off the phone. i stopped speaking to my friend 15 mins before he had to leave. he was livid, saying that i'd left him to do all the chores and that he'd had no food.
i realized that speaking to my friend would have a knock on affect on my own evening as i'd be doing the chores later, but didnt think for a minute that dh would 'martyr himself' by tidying up etc downstairs instead of fixing a snack.
i accept that he has reason to feel a bit annoyed, but does have the right to furious, in the circumstances? i'd never dream of chatting away normally, at this time of the evening, before the chore were done.
he said that i'd have reacted just the same. but the person he was talking to was in 'crisis' i think i'd be more understanding.