Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to warn DD she might get travel sick?

111 replies

FireBelliedToad · 18/03/2021 15:45

DD9 is going on a coach trip next week. She has never been on a coach before.

She always hated the car as a baby and as a toddler was often sick in the car. She has got better since she was forward facing; when she was around 4 we would have to break the 35 minute drive into the next city else she would throw up. Now she can manage an hour or two if the roads aren't too winding. The last time we had to stop was in last January (2020) on the way back from our holidays. We've barely been anywhere since then.

I called her teacher to warn her that DD gets travel sick and I'd be sending spare clothes with DS, but not telling DD that he had them incase thinking that she might be sick might make her feel sick.

DH thinks I'm making something out of nothing and I shouldn't have said anything to the teacher and that she'll probably be fine.

The trip is to the neighbouring city 35 mins away.

I bought some sea bands, planning to hand them to the teacher in case required. DD saw them and asked what they were.

When I mentioned to DH that I'd bought some and she'd seen them he said "oh fgs don't you start on her now".

I now don't know if I should say anything else to DD or not. As in tell her what to do if she does feel sick. Show her how to put the bands on before she goes. Suggest she tries to sit near the front of the coach (the teacher said she would try to engineer this).

AIBU to warn DD that she might feel sick?

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 18/03/2021 15:47

She’s 9. She’s no longer a toddler. You’d be making her worry she might feel sick and then she may well be.

lughnasadh · 18/03/2021 15:58

Can't she just take anti sickness drugs?

marriednotdead · 18/03/2021 16:02

Caveat- my own experiences of childhood travel sickness no doubt colours my view and spoilt a fair few trips until I was old enough to take control of the situation and assess accordingly.

You know she gets poorly, why spoil her day out on a predictable event?
I'd get her some kids travel sickness tablets and let her take them.

Finfintytint · 18/03/2021 16:03

You’ve said she can manage an hour or two and the journey is only thirty five minutes so she’ll be fine.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 18/03/2021 16:03

Of course you should warn her, and reassure he about the steps you are taking!

It’s almost as though you both think it’s in her head Hmm

Travel sickness is very real, and it’s extremely helpful for her to know you have thought about it and taken precautions. Anti sickness drugs are the best bet and she should have these as well as the bands (which don’t do much imo)

AmyandPhilipfan · 18/03/2021 16:05

I would put the bands on her before she goes and tell her ‘you used to feel a bit sick travelling when you were younger so I bought these as they stop you feeling sick. Now you definitely won’t feel sick.’ So that she has a remedy that should stop any sickness anyway and she’ll feel confident about not being sick. If she knows the teacher has them ‘just in case’ then she might convince herself that she is starting to feel sick.

Original poster
FireBelliedToad · 18/03/2021 16:10

The only time I've ever been travel sick is when I was pregnant with her! She knows that granny and grandma get travel sick. Last time we told her it was their fault Grin

I thought coaches and buses were supposed to be worse than cars? I know MIL won't go on a coach unless she absolutely has to. MIL swears the bands work when she's on a boat. DH would never agree to DD taking anti sickness tablets.

OP posts:
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 18/03/2021 16:11

Both my DDs can get travel si k in the car. Both have been fine on school bus journeys on trips (which is fortunate as they had a 30min journey on the school bus daily).

One thing we are careful with is not mentioning travel sickness. We realised it made them worse. They do suffer on mountain trips now, but not on 'normal' journeys since they've learnt to tell us to open the window if they need air.

DavidsSchitt · 18/03/2021 16:14

"DH would never agree to DD taking anti sickness tablets."

Why?

giletrouge · 18/03/2021 16:17

DH would never agree to DD taking anti sickness tablets.
Can you unpack this? I mean, what's his objection to once taking anti-sickness tablets?
And I hate to say this, but what else would he 'never agree to'?

Swifey40 · 18/03/2021 16:20

Your DH sounds like a pillock!!! My two boys have awful travel sickness (as do I) we all take stugeron when we know we are traveling anywhere. It's a no brained. Your poor daughter may be sick and then has to spend the whole day smelling of sick and feeling embarrassed???

MumW · 18/03/2021 16:21

Why don't you give her the bands to wear and say that she used to be sick when she was a baby, you're sure she's grown out of it but Granny/Grandma swear by them so you got some, just in case.
That way, you've told her you she should be fine but also given her some responsibility and control. If she chooses to wear them regardless, then no problem. Either way, she has a backup plan.

Give the teacher some travel pills in case she is ill. She can then take them for the return journey. Unless there is a good reason for your DH not wanting DD to take them, he's being an arse.

Swifey40 · 18/03/2021 16:21

brainer

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 18/03/2021 16:21

Last time we told her it was their fault grin

^^
This is not funny or clever! Travel sickness is horrible! Much worse than many kinds of pain, ie head ache that’s not a migraine, ordinary cuts and bruises etc

Not allowed her to take safe meds is really cruel of your DH. It is not made up or in her head. It’s real and very horrible and preventable.

AnnaBegins · 18/03/2021 16:21

My BIL is a bit like this, thinks it's somehow something to be ashamed of! My poor nephew gets told off for it. So I would go with the suggestion above of giving her the bands and telling her they definitely mean she won't be sick.

bruffin · 18/03/2021 16:22

DH would never agree to DD taking anti sickness tablets.
Why!
Also would give her some crystalized ginger. I had/have awful travel sickness as a child, much better now if im in the front of the car, not reading etc

Seeline · 18/03/2021 16:22

So DH would prefer his DD to feel unwell, embarrass herself Infront of her friends, smell the coach out probably making others sick too and have the teachers clear it all up, rather than do the sensible (and normal) thing of letting her take some medication?!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 18/03/2021 16:22

This has really pissed me off as an travel sickness sufferer. It’s so horrible and debilitating and people act like you’re making it up to be difficult or get some kind of advantage Hmm

idontlikealdi · 18/03/2021 16:23

HAs she not been in a vehicle between 4 and 9?! Sounds like you are projecting tbh.

Curiosity101 · 18/03/2021 16:25

I don't see why you can't give her travel sickness tablets? She'll never need to worry or be scared of getting travel sick if she always takes tablets. Then when she's older if she wants to see if she's grown out of it she can choose to not take them.

To me this seems better than the worry that she might be sick.

Jumpers268 · 18/03/2021 16:26

I used to get such bad travel sickness when I was younger. I can't understand what the issue is with as anti sickness tablets though? That's what I used to use. Less of an issue now as I drive but I still take them if I'm going on a ferry 🤢🤢🤢.

Original poster
FireBelliedToad · 18/03/2021 16:28

He's anti medication unless it's absolutely necessary and he says that we don't know she will be sick on the coach.

I could try to get some ginger, I've put aside a pack of chewing gum as the teacher asked me to send her with some.

embarrass herself Infront of her friends,
Yes, it this I want to avoid for her obviously. Both classes are travelling together and there have been issues with a couple of the older kids making fun of her recently.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 18/03/2021 16:28

Ignore your DH and give her travel sickness tablets. Why would he prefer her to throw up in front of all her friends?

Travel sickness is shit and it's cruel not to give her something that will stop it.

SoupDragon · 18/03/2021 16:29

Why does his weirdness about medicine trump your DD's right to feel well?

SunshiningBetty · 18/03/2021 16:30

I have this problem with my DD. Can you get anti sickness tablets from the chemist that don’t make them drowsy does anyone know?