AIBU to warn DD she might get travel sick?

[FireBelliedToad]

DD9 is going on a coach trip next week. She has never been on a coach before.

She always hated the car as a baby and as a toddler was often sick in the car. She has got better since she was forward facing; when she was around 4 we would have to break the 35 minute drive into the next city else she would throw up. Now she can manage an hour or two if the roads aren't too winding. The last time we had to stop was in last January (2020) on the way back from our holidays. We've barely been anywhere since then.

I called her teacher to warn her that DD gets travel sick and I'd be sending spare clothes with DS, but not telling DD that he had them incase thinking that she might be sick might make her feel sick.

DH thinks I'm making something out of nothing and I shouldn't have said anything to the teacher and that she'll probably be fine.

The trip is to the neighbouring city 35 mins away.

I bought some sea bands, planning to hand them to the teacher in case required. DD saw them and asked what they were.

When I mentioned to DH that I'd bought some and she'd seen them he said "oh fgs don't you start on her now".

I now don't know if I should say anything else to DD or not. As in tell her what to do if she does feel sick. Show her how to put the bands on before she goes. Suggest she tries to sit near the front of the coach (the teacher said she would try to engineer this).

AIBU to warn DD that she might feel sick?

And if periods will be “your domain” then bloody make travel sickness your domain too.

I dont understand that your DD has not been on a bus for 35mins before? But in the past has been sick on car journeys longer than a few hours...to be honest sounds like normal level of travel sickness and highly unlikely to be severe on a 35mins bus journey ( i also suffered badly from travel sickness as a child and still get it on long journeys...but would have always been fine on a 35mins journey...esp one I was prepared for/not reading)
But just give her the bands and/or medication to be on the safe side and let her know that she doesnt have to worry about it because those will stop her from being sick (and let the teacher know just kn case as you've done). Not sure I understand the fuss?

He's anti medication unless it's absolutely necessary and he says that we don't know she will be sick on the coach
The next time he has to have a tooth extraction or similar, tell him that he doesn’t need the anaesthetic- he won’t know until he is screaming in pain whether or not he needs it.
What a prick.

Why wouldn't you put travel bands on her prior to leaving? Pre empt it.

Also, thinking of the other kids too the least thing you want is one kid setting off a whole load of other kids vomitting.

Your husband sounds infuriating. I would def give her travel sicknese tablets prior to leaving. It's not a big deal. It would be worse for her to vomit all down her clothes,have to have the bus stopped, get off in front of her peers and change all the while the smell of sick will be setting the other kids off. I think that would be worse all round!

Sorry, but why do your DH's beliefs trump your DD's wellbeing?

I suffer from travel sickness and it's absolutely horrible - please let your daughter take the tablets. If she's not going to be/feel sick they won't do any harm. If she is, then they'll stop that from happening.

I think it is absolutely appalling that your DH would rather your DD suffer than take medication and I would not be putting up with that. My DS suffers from travel sickness and if he does not have pills he will throw up on a 30 minute journey to see his grandparents, let alone anything longer. I get car sick myself so I know how absolutely miserable it is.

Will he be having the vaccination?

Give her a tablet. It’s really not fair on staff to let her throw up everywhere. Drives me mad when parents do this and leave staff to deal with the (disgusting) mess and smell.

I suffer from travel sickness it's bloody awful. Your husband is a dick.
My Dad used to say 'it's all in the mind' even as I was being sick at the side of the road.
Bands are no good - give her a tablet.

Travel sickness is an absolutely awful condition. I never outgrew it and still have trouble even on the simplest of trips. Coaches are worse and getting sick on a school trip will make the whole situation all the more stressful.

YOUR DD NEEDS TO BE MEDICATED!!!!!

Your DH is engaging in parental neglect. I am not exaggerating. That is how bad travel sickness feels. You don’t have to be actively vomiting to be horribly miserable. A parent must take aggressive measures to combat travel sickness. No excuses.

You can feel ill all day, it would ruin her trip.

I find it pretty weird that he won't take medication... it's medicine that's what it's there for.

You don’t have to be actively vomiting to be horribly miserable

^^
Absolutely this.

I have terrible car sickness / nausea but don’t actually vomit. I think it’s actually worse as you don’t get the relief of vomitting, it just goes on and on.

I was the same with morning sickness. Obviously nothing like as bad as HG, I’m just talking about “ordinary” sickness, but I would have loved the relief of vomitting.

I find ginger biscuits work well

There used to be children's travel sick tablets that had hyoscine in, they don't make you tired at all. I took them as an adult as they worked so well!

Think they're called joy rides. Were raspberry flavoured and you chewed them 30 minutes before you leave. Don't work if you already feel ill. I'd give her the pills, she'll be so embarrassed if she vomits poor girl

Kwells for kids works a treat for my DD9. Just chew one 15min before each journey. I think with the excitement & not focusing on 1 spot for the duration of the trip, it's likely to happen.

Travel sick pills work brilliantly. Please use them and ignore your husband. I was very travel sick as a child and it was utterly, utterly miserable. The pills are perfectly safe for children. Your husband's opinion is pointless.

Just give her the tablets, it’s not crack. I used to get travel sick in the car as a child but was always ok on buses/coaches, my friend was the opposite though so it’s hard to predict.

Just tell her on the morning of the trip that you're sure she's going to be fine but just in case she isn't, her teacher has travel bands and some meds to help her to avoid any problems as she hasnt been on a coach before. Might be an idea to tell her not to read, not to sit on the wheel and get an aisle seat so she can look straight out of the front window of the coach. Also a light breakfast and tell her not to stuff her face too close to home time. Maybe some boiled sweets and some water.

She will be too likely messing about with her mates to notice but at least you'll be helping her prepare to cope with coach journeys long term.

@FireBelliedToad

Why on earth is a school trip happening?

As far as I understand it was planned before everything was closed. It’s not open again yet so it will just be the school there. We’ve been told it’s a double decker bus - class on each level? - and masks are optional. Doesn’t really matter for me, I’ve one child in each class.

She can’t read in the car and won’t be taking a book, doesn’t have a phone.

What if your DD has painful periods, will she have to suffer through rather than take a painkiller?
God no, that will be my domain! DH has had to pick me off the floor many a time due to period induced vomiting & fainting so has no issue with me being on super strength painkillers for that. I’ve still not forgiven my parents for refusing to let me go on the pill!

Are you in England? DfE advice is that educational trips should NOT be happening

Definitely recommend using the bands my DS swears by them

Kwells travel sickness tablets. Ignore your DH as he’s being an arse.

Hang on, why is his word the last word here. Tell him to piss off and she will be taking the sickness pills. He sounds like a dickhead tbh

Your poor dd. My sister and I both get bad travel sickness.

Things I've found that work

• aisle seat - to look out front window

-Not reading,looking down or looking at phone

• distraction- listening to music or chatting
• Cold drink to sip- either water or flat lemonade
• no sleeping
• having a few bags and wipes for face/hands

Still not foolproof, I found the tablets only help on a boat no idea why

I was on a school trip once when a boy got extremely travel sick and threw up everywhere. It covered him and the boy sitting next to him too.

The coach driver was not happy, nor was the poor boy sitting next to him who had to take his vomit covered jumper off and spend the rest of the day shivering as a result.

A lot of the other kids made a huge deal about how much it stank the coach out, and then refused to go anywhere near him for the rest of the trip.

Turns out that the boys mother knew he got travel sick yet didn’t take any preventative measures to address the problem.

She knew her child would feel ill and be sick, and that someone else would have to deal with it. She effectively let her child feel ill and have a horrible day and be teased by the other kids.

Please don’t be that parent.

I also don’t understand why your DH has the final word on this? - Do you always have to do what he says? And why would he want his child to suffer unnecessarily?
He sounds controlling and mean.

This thread and all of the communication in your family seems bizarre.