AIBU to warn DD she might get travel sick?

[FireBelliedToad]

DD9 is going on a coach trip next week. She has never been on a coach before.

She always hated the car as a baby and as a toddler was often sick in the car. She has got better since she was forward facing; when she was around 4 we would have to break the 35 minute drive into the next city else she would throw up. Now she can manage an hour or two if the roads aren't too winding. The last time we had to stop was in last January (2020) on the way back from our holidays. We've barely been anywhere since then.

I called her teacher to warn her that DD gets travel sick and I'd be sending spare clothes with DS, but not telling DD that he had them incase thinking that she might be sick might make her feel sick.

DH thinks I'm making something out of nothing and I shouldn't have said anything to the teacher and that she'll probably be fine.

The trip is to the neighbouring city 35 mins away.

I bought some sea bands, planning to hand them to the teacher in case required. DD saw them and asked what they were.

When I mentioned to DH that I'd bought some and she'd seen them he said "oh fgs don't you start on her now".

I now don't know if I should say anything else to DD or not. As in tell her what to do if she does feel sick. Show her how to put the bands on before she goes. Suggest she tries to sit near the front of the coach (the teacher said she would try to engineer this).

AIBU to warn DD that she might feel sick?

Just put the bands on her and say she definitely won't feel sick now.

They are fabulous and I've not been travel sock sine I started wearing them.

She knows that granny and grandma get travel sick. Last time we told her it was their fault

You allowed her to think they chose to feel sick?
Your husband is an idiot. HTH

You allowed her to think they chose to feel sick?
No! It's their fault (i.e. their genes) which gave her travel sickness.

I definitely think you’re right to have told the teacher (from what I know they really appreciate being told this stuff before the child pukes everywhere) and pack spare clothes just incase. I’d mention it to your daughter in a very casual way “because you’ve had travel sickness before I’ve given the teacher some spare clothes for you and here’s some bands that grandma says help her with her travel sickness”. As long as you emphasise how much she will enjoy the actual trip and don’t focus too much on the possibility of her being sick (she might not be after all) I don’t see the problem and your husband is being weird and uptight about it.

Giver her a quells and send her on her way. I get very travel sick I wouldn’t wish it on anybody.

What do you think about her taking travel sickness medication in these circumstances OP?

Poor thing! I have many memories of throwing up at the side of the road as a kid, my loved driving holidays 🙄 once we drove from Scotland to France 🙈

35 mins isn't very long, and maybe she will be distracted/excited chatting to friends.
I would warn her not to read or look at her phone if she has one, and give her some tablets to take if she does start to feel
Sick (her dad has obviously never been travel sick!)

Should say my dad loved driving holidays!

I’d just give her the anti-sickness tablets and not mention it to your DH. They’re not a hardcore or long term medication and they may allow your Dd to enjoy the school trip feeling fine. Plus the sea bands.

Off-topic, but longer term you might want to sit down and discuss your DH’s objections to medication, because it’ll have implications for your children. What if your DD has painful periods, will she have to suffer through rather than take a painkiller?

Like many others I'd say how she used to be travel sick, probably won't be on this trip because its not a really long way and her friends will distract her, but to be prepared she can have the wristbands etc.

Your DH sounds awful, I feel a bit sorry for you.

Travel sickness is not psycho-somatic. It is a real thing caused by the motion of fluid in the inner ear stimulating a sickness centre in the brain.

This reminds me of not being told someone we were visiting had a cat so I wouldn't get a reaction (severe asthma). If I had been told my parents could have given me antihistamine.

I agree your daughter is old enough to know about travel sickness and to be prepared. Modern travel sickness medicines work well and having a sickness bag can save everyone a big clean up.

Also second the advice not to read or do activities that cause you to tilt your head forward. Reading in a car is guaranteed to make me travel sick.

When my eldest went from NE England to France on a school trip. I was terrified as she would throw up as she always did going 7 miles into town. I gave her sickness tablets and wrist bands and told her they PREVENTED her from being sick. It worked, she thought it was physically impossible. I normally don’t medicate until absolutely necessary but this was an exception. I didn’t want her to have smelly, vomit covered clothes in front of her classmates either, plus she has a phobia of vomit so would be hysterical. Your husband is being ridiculous.

She may be alright on the bus... I was awful in a car, and still can be but never sick or even queasy on a bus.

Trains I have to face forwards, I can travel backwards for very short times, but cannot do anything other than look fixedly out of the window. If forward facing on a train I can read a little, look at a tablet or phone

Medication works really well but I think it's too much for a 35 minute ride. Especially as it will make her drowsy and she might miss most of the trip.
I think regular precautions, front seat and not looking around/behind at friends will work.

Whatever you decide to do in this instance, I'd start preparing for dealing with your husband's bizarre attitude toward medicine. I don't believe in taking medicine when it's avoidable, but there's no sense in suffering needlessly, whether it's pain or nausea. If he prefers to shun normal, safe medications, that's his business, but when it comes to the children, it's not only his decision. You have some say, and so should they. I wouldn't want them growing up to think that there's something wrong with taking medicines in moderation.

Not read whole thread sorry. Fellow travel sicker here!

The drugs work but unless they have changed, they knock a person out, used to make me v drowsy and bad tempered if I couldn’t sleep (not great for a short trip).

The solution is a watch, or a watch like thing google anti sickness watch. I’m sure a 9 y o could operate it and they are seriously MAGIC. I get massively sea sick and with my watch I ate a full breakfast in seas too huge for us to dock. It’s a game changer. Often sold by chandleries

Why on earth is a school trip happening? Had the school not thought of the possibility of a class having to be self-isolating if one of them tests positive for Covid 19 over the next week?

Take travel sickness tablets. The chances may be much reduced because all windows will be open, if it is like any bus at present.

Poor thing. I get bad motion sickness, even from sitting on a swing. The main thing that helps me if I were to be on a coach would be to sit at the front and face forwards so not turning round talking to friends etc. I also take herbal anti sickness tablets as a preventative measure.

But I've been aware from very young that I am prone to motion sickness so would know to sit at the front etc, it wouldn't need to be orchestrated for me. I think as long as the teacher is prepared and your DD is confident enough to ask for help then she will be fine. Take a couple of sick bags just in case, my mum used to stash the ones off aeroplanes for me.

Don't agree with DH not giving medication unless necessary, is he going to police her period pains in a few years time to make sure she qualifies to take paracetamol etc?

Hope your DD has a lovely trip :)

It is absolutely necessary though isn’t it?

It’s to stop your Dd feeling absolutely awful and possibly being embarrassed on a school trip!

Why on earth is a school trip happening?

As far as I understand it was planned before everything was closed. It’s not open again yet so it will just be the school there. We’ve been told it’s a double decker bus - class on each level? - and masks are optional. Doesn’t really matter for me, I’ve one child in each class.

She can’t read in the car and won’t be taking a book, doesn’t have a phone.

What if your DD has painful periods, will she have to suffer through rather than take a painkiller?
God no, that will be my domain! DH has had to pick me off the floor many a time due to period induced vomiting & fainting so has no issue with me being on super strength painkillers for that. I’ve still not forgiven my parents for refusing to let me go on the pill!

Why would you have to tell her? She is 9 and has suffered from travel sickness for years. Surely she must know about it?

OP you really need to put your foot down and overrule your DH’s bizarre attitude to medication. It’s not a coke habit ffs, it’s travel sickness tablets! I was horribly travel sick as a child, threw up on planes, ferries, coaches and cars. Train was the only form of travel I didn’t get sick on! I used to really worry about being sick on school trips and always took the medication, even then I was still sometimes sick and it was very embarrassing, having to go and see a teacher to dispose of a full sick bag. You and your DH should be doing everything you can to prevent it.