AIBU to warn DD she might get travel sick?

[FireBelliedToad]

DD9 is going on a coach trip next week. She has never been on a coach before.

She always hated the car as a baby and as a toddler was often sick in the car. She has got better since she was forward facing; when she was around 4 we would have to break the 35 minute drive into the next city else she would throw up. Now she can manage an hour or two if the roads aren't too winding. The last time we had to stop was in last January (2020) on the way back from our holidays. We've barely been anywhere since then.

I called her teacher to warn her that DD gets travel sick and I'd be sending spare clothes with DS, but not telling DD that he had them incase thinking that she might be sick might make her feel sick.

DH thinks I'm making something out of nothing and I shouldn't have said anything to the teacher and that she'll probably be fine.

The trip is to the neighbouring city 35 mins away.

I bought some sea bands, planning to hand them to the teacher in case required. DD saw them and asked what they were.

When I mentioned to DH that I'd bought some and she'd seen them he said "oh fgs don't you start on her now".

I now don't know if I should say anything else to DD or not. As in tell her what to do if she does feel sick. Show her how to put the bands on before she goes. Suggest she tries to sit near the front of the coach (the teacher said she would try to engineer this).

AIBU to warn DD that she might feel sick?

HAs she not been in a vehicle between 4 and 9?!
Of course she has. And on every long journey we've had to stop at some point because she has felt sick. But we don't go on long journeys very often, the last was in Jan 20. She's been in the car a handful of times this past year because we haven't been anywhere beyond the shop, dentist etc which is less than 10 minutes.

I suffer from motion sickness and was often sick on school trips! Knowing I was going to be sick didn’t make it worse. Warning her gently that it might happen will not make her any difference to what actually happens on the coach but the bands and sickness medication will. Although I would try and steer away from the sickness pills as even the non-drowsy ones would knock me out for the day.

Caveat- my own experiences of childhood travel sickness no doubt colours my view and spoilt a fair few trips until I was old enough to take control of the situation and assess accordingly.

Same here, although my parents quickly realised that coach travel was not a sensible option. The odd bus ride was no problem but for long distance travel it was car (with an empty 2 gal ice cream tub for company) or train. I still avoid coach travel if at all possible.

He's anti medication unless it's absolutely necessary and he says that we don't know she will be sick on the coach

Your poor DD and shame on your OH. I was travel sick on a school trip when I was around your DD's age. I'm in my 60s and vividly remember the shame and the unpleasantness. I'm emetophobic now and think that this episode definitaly contributed to the development of my emet.

Kwells (or Boots Travel Calm tablets, same thing) only need to be taken half an hour before travelling.

I find this very odd - won't she remember the times she was travel sick before?

It's weird that he's anti medication. Does he take paracetamol etc?

I never liked the anti emetic meds as I felt just as ropey with them and they have a really strong flavour which made me feel worse in anticipation. But if she's willing to take them then she should defo be allowed! They aren't harmful and it's not like she's taking them every day

Travel sickness is awful. Especially on a school trip in front of her school friends (and older kids that have made fun of her recently). I don't think warning her is a bad thing, however, I completely disagree with your husband with regards to anti sickness tablets. She may be fine, but she may not be.

If she’s unexpectedly sick on the way she’ll worry about the drive back. It will spoil her trip and be embarrassing for her. Just tell her she has had travel sickness when she was younger so for this trip it would be best take the pills.

We got Dd some travel sickness plasters from Amazon. She changed schools and needed to travel on a mini bus everyday, but couldn't make it 10 minutes in the car. They really did help and she travels 30 mins each way to school and back with no problems

I have always suffered with travel sickness and remember many unpleasant car / coach / ferry journeys as a child! I do understand where you’re coming from in terms of not making her worry about it as I do recall being sick on a school trip once before we had even got on the coach to start the journey!

In my experience once you start to feel sick it’s too late for anything to help and sometimes the panic of starting to feel ill but knowing I’m not able to get out of the car / coach / ferry can exacerbate the symptoms.

Personally, I would give her some travel sickness tablets to take before the journey and then some tips on what to do to avoid feeling unwell.

My top tips would be don’t read or use your phone at all, sit towards the front, keep looking ahead / out of the window as much as possible and avoid turning round to talk to friends as seeing where you are going really makes a difference. Also don’t get too hot - wear layers and take your coat/jumper off when you get on, because if you try to do it while the coach is moving you risk making yourself feel more sick.

Travel sickness is really horrible! All my family get it, even the big burly menfolk.

It’s very simple, just give her travel sickness tablets, over the counter meds, the brand we use can be chewed or swallowed with water, 2 hours before the journey. Every pharmacist sells them because so many people especially children need them.

Ignore your DH! I love my DH to bits but no way would I stand for that daft nonsense. You are her mother, put her needs first. It’s that simple.

My son gets awful travel sickness. We give him an anti sickness tablet everything we go on a long journey. You can buy them from a pharmacy, they are very harmless

Travel sickness is awful, your poor daughter. You feel so helpless when it’s happening. Give her a bag to keep in her pocket and a couple of spares for the teacher so if she does feel sick she’s got somewhere for it to go that’s fairly discreet.

Coaches and buses were a nightmare for me when I was little. Someone once told my parents they’d never believed in travel sickness until they saw the colour I went - a sort of greenish grey. The planning invoked in a school trip was something else! Get her to sit near the front, aisle seat so she can see through the front window - that can help. Have the air vents on. Don’t sit over the wheels. Ask the teacher to tell the driver to take it steady - heavy braking and acceleration make it worse.

Oddly it’s only cars and buses that have been problematic for me - trains and planes are fine. It’s to do with the mixed messages from your senses to your brain. NHS information is here: www.nhs.uk/conditions/motion-sickness/. Phenergan is fantastic - dose the night before and on the day helps a lot.

One of my stand out memories was being in a minibus with a boy who was horrifically travel sick. I was 4 and I'm a life long emetophobic.

It really isn't fair on the school staff, other passengers and coach staff not to take steps to negate travel sickness.

Your DH has an interesting stance on medication

@FireBelliedToad

HAs she not been in a vehicle between 4 and 9?! Of course she has. And on every long journey we've had to stop at some point because she has felt sick. But we don't go on long journeys very often, the last was in Jan 20. She's been in the car a handful of times this past year because we haven't been anywhere beyond the shop, dentist etc which is less than 10 minutes.

You didn't explain that.

How bloody ridiculous. She needs travel sickness tablets. Travel sickness is horrific, even if you don't get as far as being sick, you feel miserable and panicked and it's damn painful. The medication is necessary, at least give it to her so if she starts feeling ill she can take it.

DD (8) gets awfully travel sick, so in similar situations, I give her a pill and also pop one of those travel potty liners in her bag. This gives her the reassurance that she’ll likely not feel sick in the first place, but if she does, she can be prepared
Travel sickness is miserable 😢. I suffer too

I was going to ask if your husband's objection to travel sickness tablets is that they might make your daughter too tired? Do they have child friendly tablets now? I also suffered from travel sickness (still do) and remember not only the horrible feeling but the criticism, so many people think you are making it up or being weak. Thinking back I cannot remember one journey or play on swings etc that I actually enjoyed and have been told I'd turned green on occasion. But I was never sick as I am also emotophobic like so many others.

As your daughter is nine it might help to explain that it is a condition related to balance and the inner ear, not something she can control. Does she have a poor sense of balance?

Now children are so aware of allergies perhaps she could explain it in similar terms? It's just one of those things. I agree sitting still, facing front, not reading all help.

Your DH is an idiot. Give the poor girl some Stugeron and then no-one needs to worry about it! I have a real fear of travel sickness (mine and other people's) after being ill on a school trip on a coach years ago and always take it pre-emptively. I only wish I could force everyone else to take it too when I'm travelling then maybe I could enjoy ferries and planes more 😂😂

He's anti medication unless it's absolutely necessary

I would've described myself like this and use to try to avoid giving things like Calpol/Neurofen to DS unless absolutely necessary. But there have been times where DH has 'over ridden' my cautiousness and said we should just give it to him. I'm glad DH did cause it didn't do DS any harm and if he was in pain it'll have made him feel better.

In your case I'd tell your DH that if he's wrong then he's exposing your DD to an embarrassing and upsetting situation. If you're wrong it'll just mean she took a tablet that didn't do any harm. So based on that you're going to give her a tablet cause it's the right thing to do.

Your DH is stupid. I am ‘anti-medication’ where it’s not necessary but in this case it could well be! He needs to grow up and put his daughter first

I get dreadful travel sickness and always have. On every kind of transport including actually driving the car if it's foggy or I'm feeling tired.

I am surprised your daughter isn't thinking about it, even if she hasn't mentioned it. It was a huge deal for me and I remember worrying about all journeys.

I think you need to talk to her and reassure her and give her medication or travel bands. Meds can make you drowsy but I've had great success with the bands (and your husband can't object to those!).

Does he take paracetamol etc?
No! Not even the ones he was discharged with after an op.

Yes, she remembers being sick before. Now she tells us when shes not feeling ok etc. But she's never been on a coach before.

Myself and both children get travel sick. I use kwells for the kids. They just chew the tablet half an hour before departure, job done.
If your DH doesn't want to take medication then fine, but it feels a bit cruel preventing a child taking medicine to stop them vomiting in front of their class and teachers.