"Was it worth it? He texted a girl from work - and I'm not saying it wouldn't piss me off but it hardly counts as an affair - and now you're at risk of losing your home, your business, your children's home.
Taking the high moral ground is costing you very dear".
I disagree and think Op's actions show she has great strength of character and a high self worth. To suggest she let it lie , is encouraging her and anyone else in this situation to just put up with it for the sake of any personal disruption. This is not actually costing OP anything as clearly OP has had no financial benefit from this relationship as shown and , in fact, this will now lead to OP's own future financial independence and own accrued assets.
Clearly OP was not willing to continue in the relationship and the ease at which her DP moved out into his own property , shows he felt the same. They both have clearly come to the end of this relationship and appear to be working well together to make sure both they and the children, are all going to be ok longer term.
If anything the 'moral' here is to always have your own money and own funds, not turn a blind eye and put up. You DO NOT need to be married to be secure, you just need to financially secure yourself with yr own income and yr own assets. Married or not you will always have yr own assets and own money to fall back on. I say from experience. I am once divorced and then 4 yrs ago left a 15 yr relationship where we were not married. I did not want to marry again. I have 2 Dc's , worked , always had my own money, my own properties, my own choices! In fact, i came off financially worse when i got divorced yrs ago as i has more than him!! Had enough left over to rebuild my life but he benefited financially greatly from me ,having arrived with nowt. Never made that mistake again. Being married is financial suicide if you are the one with all the money and property.
Op, you will be fine. Yes, some legal /CAB advice will help you clarify in yr mind , what may be avail to you , in terms of monies , if any owing to you etc and the financial offer he is making you. In the meantime could you now look to secure any work at all to get you at least earning? In time, you could then buy a small run around car and look at doing mobile beauty when things return to normal and when kids with their dad? Longer term , when you are in yr new home and things have settled , could you look at renting space in a salon or hairdressers to return to beauty full time? Your new home may not have the space ( or if rented ) allow you to practice from home so securing alternative employment is advantageous at this point as it will finance you moving forward.
Paying bills, setting Direct Debits are all straight forward. When all agreed , the settlement he finally pays you is a platform for you to spring board yourself. This will be a great opportunity for you to build a business . On the face of it , it sounds like he recognises your situation ( he could have put you on the mortgage and the deeds but thats a diff thread ). He looks like he will be giving you a cash sum in any event to start again , which is more than some in this position have had , so if you allocate those funds wisely you have an opportunity to propel yourself onto greater things and build a business for yourself.
Finally OP, when you are all settled in yr new home and building a new business for yourself, always legally protect yr assets should you ever enter into any new relationship. Having your own money/property/legally documented financial interest in a property and income will always serve you well and give you comfortable choices. You will be fine OP and i wish you well on your new chapter.