Page 11 | What age did you have you babies?

chonkyy · 2021-03-16T17:35:57+00:00

My mil has said that because I'm 30 this year we'd better get a move on and have babies soon because otherwise I'll be too old.. [hmm] I'm having yet another miscarriage so this feels a bit of a slap in the face tbh. I know that the risk increases with age but I'm 30 not 50! Aibu to tell her to go away and I'll have a baby when I've lost weight and if that's a year or so who gives a shit

LifesLittleDeciders · 18/03/2021 15:39

23 I had my DD, I’m coming up to 25 now and we’re trying for our second. It took 7 months to conceive DD and hoping it a little quicker this time as I wanted a very small age gap, but complications during pregnancy and birth made my MH deteriorate so I haven’t been in the right place to try again until now.

Hoowhoowho · 18/03/2021 15:56

34,35,37. I’m a midwife in London , the majority of women I see are in their thirties or early forties. In some parts of the country babies in your thirties are the norm.

crystalcherry87 · 18/03/2021 15:57

20, 26, 28, 29. For me personally if I had made it to 30 without children and was indecisive about it I don't think I would start. I think it's getting on a bit to start a family if you want more than 2 and if you waited that long, unless you had fertility issues it can't have been a priority in life. I'm sorry for your loss.

Wondermule · 18/03/2021 15:59

@Amri997

4 by 28? What kind of life is that lol. I think having kids 30+ means you've lived your young life and can bring kids in the world

What kind of life is running around after toddlers in your 40s and still doing school runs in your 50s 🤷🏼‍♀️ Plus having ageing parents in the background somewhere. Sounds super stressful to me.

user1471523870 · 18/03/2021 15:59

43

MeadowHay · 18/03/2021 16:00

24 and 27. Unlikely to have more and if we did it wouldn't be for at least another 4 years or so.

Chocolateandamaretto · 18/03/2021 16:02

20, 24 and 26. I’m 31 now and most of my peers are just starting to consider having kids. 30s is a great time to have kids!

Dirtymucker · 18/03/2021 16:04

17 and 24.

I’m early thirties now and no one my age in my social circle has children yet. The youngest people in my work tend to have kids is mid thirties to forties.

ScatteredMama82 · 18/03/2021 16:07

29 and 34. You've got plenty of time. You don't owe your MIL any explanation. Don't accept any responsibility for what she is saying, and for heaven's sake don't feel you need to justify it by giving her a reason such as losing weight like you suggested.

My mind boggles why anyone feels the need to comment on other people's reproduction! There are so many possible reasons why someone hasn't had a child yet, and so many are not by choice. Your MIL needs to stop and think before opening her mouth with unwelcome input.

Amri997 · 18/03/2021 16:09

[quote Wondermule]@Amri997

4 by 28? What kind of life is that lol. I think having kids 30+ means you've lived your young life and can bring kids in the world

What kind of life is running around after toddlers in your 40s and still doing school runs in your 50s 🤷🏼‍♀️ Plus having ageing parents in the background somewhere. Sounds super stressful to me.[/quote]
LOL. I clearly misunderstood with what she had said. I thought she said 30 is too old when she said it's not.
So I misunderstood.

Glitterandglow · 18/03/2021 16:53

I’m sorry about your miscarriage OP.

KoshkaKills · 18/03/2021 16:58

20

CoodleMoodle · 18/03/2021 18:14

24 (nearly 25) and 29.

user1498572889 · 18/03/2021 18:23

1. 24 That’s when I felt ready. My kids were much older when r They started their families and I am glad. They got to do so much more with their lives before they had kids. Your MIL should mind her own business.

Wrennie24 · 18/03/2021 18:25

28, 30, 33 snd 39 (just).

thebookeatinggirl · 18/03/2021 18:30

34 then 36, luckily with no real issues conceiving, but I still wish I'd met DH earlier and started younger.

DazedWifelet · 18/03/2021 18:37

36 & 40.

DazedWifelet · 18/03/2021 18:38

Sorry for your miscarriage

mintich · 18/03/2021 18:43

36, 37 and 40

viixie · 18/03/2021 19:00

23, 26 & 29

Trinacham · 18/03/2021 19:24

@crystalcherry87

20, 26, 28, 29. For me personally if I had made it to 30 without children and was indecisive about it I don't think I would start. I think it's getting on a bit to start a family if you want more than 2 and if you waited that long, unless you had fertility issues it can't have been a priority in life. I'm sorry for your loss.

That's a bit insensitive, I think. For me, I always wanted children. But I wanted to be financially secure first, which is why I have waited until now (I'm 30 and we are about to start trying) it was always a priority, but some people want a comfortable life where they can provide for their future children. I want a childhood for my child much how mine was, where my parents could afford what I had. In my 20s, I would have had to return to work fulltime and spend little time with my child. 30 isn't old for having children anyway!

moanieleminx · 18/03/2021 19:26

I had 2 miscarriages in my 20's. Then my kids arrived when I was 30, 31, 34 and 36.

moanieleminx · 18/03/2021 19:28

Should say I had two miscarriages in my 30's as well, unfortunately.

I am sorry you are experiencing a loss at the moment.

Ignore people. Even if they are trying to be kind, it's often very insensitive.
I found the fertility/pregnancy boards very helpful when I was dealing with it all and felt it would never happen.
Good luck OP.

speakout · 18/03/2021 19:29

*crystalcherry87

20, 26, 28, 29. For me personally if I had made it to 30 without children and was indecisive about it I don't think I would start. I think it's getting on a bit to start a family if you want more than 2 and if you waited that long, unless you had fertility issues it can't have been a priority in life. I'm sorry for your loss.*

You have amazing insight.

snugglepuff · 18/03/2021 19:31

28, 33 & 39