Let me hear your most ridiculous baby boasts

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

It’s going to get worse isn’t it

I’ve been on here long enough to know that babies can bring out the worst competitiveness in parents, I wasn’t expecting it to start quite so early.

Last week I had my 12 week scan, first baby. I was very nervous due to a previous loss. The sonographer thankfully let me hear the heartbeat straight away, but when she found the baby, it was very still. She got me to move around a bit to wake it up, which it eventually did, so she could get some pictures and measurements etc.

For some reason, I’d not considered they slept in there. I was jokingly telling my friend who had a baby last year, that ours was asleep when she started the scan. ‘Oh’ says my friend. ‘Ours was very active, she was jumping around all over the place, she even waved. But she’s always been very curious about everything. You’re probably going to have quite a lazy baby, I’d think.’

So there we go, at three months and still in my womb, someone has already compared my baby to their’s

Let me hear some other examples and have a laugh.

@BentBastard

Must husbands grandmother was the worst for this. Apparently her first born was standing up in her cot and saying "good morning mother" at about 9 months

I misread that somehow as her baby was born standing up in its cot

The image of a nine month old baby cheerily saying ‘good morning mother!’ from its cot has made me laugh a lot 😂

Surely there couldn't be two of the same Dad out there?! He used to claim all sorts of idiotic stuff once she was born but I must have blocked it out because I sadly can't remember the details now.

I have very dark eyes and hair but when one of mine was born I had a feeling they would be blind and blue eyed. A friend with all blind and blue eyed children said I would be lucky in a really annoyed way. I couldn't have cared less but it clearly meant something to her. Aforementioned child is now 9 with blue eyes and blond hair unlike the rest of us 😂

Comments like this remind me why I cannot stand the general public - what an insensitive arse!
Hope all goes well for you xx

this thread is amazing

my SIL is one of these insufferable parents and we have been pregnant twice at the same time. she was due her DD2 8 weeks behind me with my first. when my DS walked, she made a comment about how he wasn't "properly" walking... as far as I was concerned, one foot in front of the other without assistance counted as first steps but apparently not. he started literally running a few weeks later which infuriated her as she couldn't deny it then but refused to even acknowledge it. nobody was allowed to talk about him walking, or even suggest her little one might not be far off walking too or she would get flustered and irritable.

we are both due a week apart this time (me behind) and first words out of her mouth when we announced to everyone was "well it's going to be a competition to see who goes first".... first of many digs! (along with that we "stole her thunder, like we did the first time too!")

bit sad really! but partner & I have a good laugh about it

@SilverBirchWithout

“Another person said their early baby ‘couldn’t wait to be part of their family’, inferring somehow my dear baby was avoiding us”

I was just a bit sick in my mouth at that 😂 I was induced at term plus 10 with both of mine, so they clearly hated my guts, pesky babies.

My Dad says he remembers my mum sobbing when I was born because (to her) I was just so beautiful. He remembers (and photos back him up) as me being born looking like a slightly squashed, slightly furry potato 😂 I was a very dark haired baby and had lots of fuzz all over my forehead and all down my back.

Dd1 walked very early, we have videos of her walking with her Walker (so not unaided) at nearly 8 months. My lovey MIL has already shaved a month off this and tells everyone she was nearly 7 months. She didn't talk until she was gone 2 years old. Caused me no end of worry, now she doesn't stop!

[quote Lochmorlich]@Level32 according to my db when he visited our dd at a few weeks , he insists she said redrum which is murder backwards. She did sleep with her eyes partly open so perhaps she was scheming when we thought she was asleep![/quote]
My dd's first word was 'murder'

(I think it was supposed to be either mama or dada and turned out a bit of both - at least I hope so!)

My friends baby (3 weeks older than my son) apparently said dada at 9 weeks.

She sent me a video of him babbling absolute nonsense with the occasional dada sound mixed it, but mostly raspberries and other nonsensical sounds probably produced from excess gas.

She was ecstatic. Told me she had a genius on her hands.

I have two SILs (brothers' partners) who hate each other and also happen to have baby girls at around the same age. The competitiveness is wild. SIL 1's twins tended to hit milestones more quickly, SIL 2's LO is more conventionally cherubic, I guess (curly blonde locks, that sort of ridiculous thing), and hearing them snipe at each other with "stealth" (blatant) boasts and backhanded complements is hilarious. It hasn't even stopped now the girls are all toddlers.

My little boy was solving a Rubik's cube at our 12 week scan.

He's going to be so clever I'm sure 😅

My friend's baby 'self-settled' and my toddler (2 at the time) needed me to rub his back for literally 30-60 seconds until he fell asleep. He was 'very spoilt' according to my friend.

My sister is like this. She frequently informs me that her son is a genius because he is bilingual, he never tantrums because he can communicate perfectly and he was probably walking, talking and solving sudoku problems in the womb.

My DD on the other hand has been consistently late to hit her milestones, can throw an epic tantrum and has a speech delay. This is because I had the audacity to return to work when she was 11 months old and she wasn't breastfed.

Thankfully we live at opposite ends of the country and I can zone out when she starts waffling on at me.

I would like to clarify ny DN is not bilingual but can say a few word in French.

My son was much quieter in utero and he was a very placid baby (not toddler!), whereas daughter moved a lot more and was more ‘active’ as a baby, smiled early etc. There must be something in it.

I went for one of those 4d video scans when I was having my second baby. For the entire time he was sucking his big toe and staring directly at the screen. It actually felt uncomfortable looking at him and he is a lovely but horrendously odd kid now

A family member convinced her son started talking at 5 weeks old because he made a sound that could be construed at 'hello'.

@SmidgenofaPigeon
Your baby was studying for his or her. A levels in there.
The woman with the hyperactive fetus probably has a child with ADHD!

It is so pathetic the comments people come out with!
Must be insecurity.

This thread is brilliant. Some people are total balloons!

The boast that Harry made about Archie saying “Crocodile” “ Three syllables “ was amusing..
Archie was clearly saying “Dadadada” like most kids do on that 1 yr old video.
Little kids copy and parrot what they hear around them.

@oakleaffy yes!!! I thought that was an outlandish boast from Harry. I wanted Oprah to ask him about. I would have 😂

Somebody said when looking at 12 week baby scan photo 'oh look baby has a fat belly!' I was bit Funnily baby was born average size and didn't have a giant belly or any other oversized features when born! People go nuts when women are pregnant...don't know what it is but they turn into potty mouths!

I've read all this thread and @MumsThewordw02 and your story of your son eating 16 chicken nuggets has made me very happy. I'm very proud of him too! My dd likes them and can only manage eight .

I probably did say some things that came across as boastful. Dd could read at two and is very bright but for me it was about proving I wasn't the useless person my childhood had told me I was. Look, I can produce a child who can read so can't be that rubbish .

Brilliant thread

At my DS1's first scan at 16 weeks, he looked like he had his arms behind his head and his feet propped up, very relaxed looking for the last day I'd had between being very ill, attacked, and thought I was going to lose him with the heavy bleeding I had. He's still a very chill dude in his own words - though he was also an early walker who through his quiet and calm ways managed to get into places I still don't know how he got into so quickly and quietly. There were times I thought he needed a bell .

ShirleyPhallus I had that - few baby boasts that I remember, but I had my mother and other women around her age go on about how small they were compared to the babies they had. Also, how small their bumps had been, how people weren't able to tell they were pregnant even ridiculously late (my mother tried to claim even 9 months pregnant with me no one could tell, oddly there are no photos of her pregnant)...it was so weirdly competitive like this somehow made them and their babies better for being more compact (even more weird -- all the women who did this were bigger than me).