Let me hear your most ridiculous baby boasts

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

It’s going to get worse isn’t it

I’ve been on here long enough to know that babies can bring out the worst competitiveness in parents, I wasn’t expecting it to start quite so early.

Last week I had my 12 week scan, first baby. I was very nervous due to a previous loss. The sonographer thankfully let me hear the heartbeat straight away, but when she found the baby, it was very still. She got me to move around a bit to wake it up, which it eventually did, so she could get some pictures and measurements etc.

For some reason, I’d not considered they slept in there. I was jokingly telling my friend who had a baby last year, that ours was asleep when she started the scan. ‘Oh’ says my friend. ‘Ours was very active, she was jumping around all over the place, she even waved. But she’s always been very curious about everything. You’re probably going to have quite a lazy baby, I’d think.’

So there we go, at three months and still in my womb, someone has already compared my baby to their’s

Let me hear some other examples and have a laugh.

Oh forgot to say that same woman said her dc were always petite on their scans...wtaf

The woman with the hyperactive fetus probably has a child with ADHD!

Seriously though, not to derail but can we stop throwing out the gleeful wishing for neurodevelopment conditions? ADHD and other neurodevelopment conditions are not the karmic punishment for being a smug twat, they're lifelong disabilities and it's really insulting to those of us who are living with them and/or raising children with them. My child's condition is not a punchline or a just desserts.

As stated earlier too, hyperactive = ADHD perpetuates all the myths related to the condition.

@Busbitch

When I had my twins I said to a friend I was finding it hard going feeding them at around 4 months and I was starting to dread feeding time.

She nodded along and then told me it was actually easier to have twins than a singleton 🤔

Omg I get this all the time! Was walking my twins to preschool the other day and another mum I hadn't met before started small talk. Then proceeded to tell me having her singletons was harder than twins. Because twins keep each other entertained...

Eer ok, yeah sure baby twins keep each other entertained 🙄 more like wake each other up, need cuddles at the same time, poo one after the other when on the way out of the door. I HATE people talking about twins when they haven't got them, it's nearly always ridiculous.

I've got a newborn singleton now and so far it's way easier, every aspect.

The only way my baby was similar in scans and once they were born, is that they were, and are, a frequent hiccuper!

Oh god one of my yoga friends had a baby recently, she had a home birth with just a doula and now she's going to write a book on how natural the birth process is. She flat out refused to read any negative birth stories or statistics. And now she's the worlds expert on birthing and mothering. She's pissed off a few of us that had bad experiences (and they do happen).

Beware a crazy active baby in the womb? My 3 year old started doing gymnastics when 16 weeks in the womb and has never stopped moving. He used to continually kick me in the ribs on the inside and then would continue to kick nearly non stop once out. Yet he only walked at 18 months 😂

@Level32

I like to respond to comments like that with the absolute, unequivocal FACT that my baby is clearly the most genius baby there over was because she started talking at 2 weeks. Absolutely true. She said cagoule. So not just talking, but ambitious vocabulary at that!

(DISCLAIMER: I am fully aware it was random baby babbling noises, but I know someone, or 2 or 3, will fail to spot the sarcasm)

Thats nothing. My ds said duvet cover. Thats 2 words Also random babble.

I was told by one gem of a woman that I had a long labour because I was subconciously holding my baby in. Whereas she embraced her labour so hers was only 4 hours

One such gem included 'have you tried talking to him so he can copy you?' when he was still without speech aged 3. It still boggles my mind that she thought the issue was I did not speak to him FFS

I've had this about my youngest, more about her mobility than her speech.

"Have you tried talking or singing to her?" "Have you tried holding her hands and encouraging her to walk?"

Ah shit, despite her being the youngest of 6 children I hadn't thought of talking to her or holding her hands.... Problem fucking solved by the genius perfect-mum

I saw a baby naming and colouring all the shapes on TikTok the other day

I can tell a first child a mile away 😂

"Have you tried talking or singing to her?" "Have you tried holding her hands and encouraging her to walk?"

This sort of shit doesn't stop when they're older either. DS - the good sleeper as a baby - is a terrible sleeper now for reasons related to ASD. He averages around four hours a night. I've had everyone from other mums to honest-to-god professionals ask me "have you tried a set bedtime and a firm bedtime routine?" as if this has never once occurred to me in twelve plus years of parenting.

A work colleague potty training her 7 month old DS 🤷‍♀️

I felt so sorry for that poor kid! I often wonder about him now.

DS is four months old and hates sleeping. He fights it with all his might, it takes me longer settling him to sleep than how much he actually sleeps. It's draining and overwhelming. He was an 'active one' in the womb; aways kicking away even during scans, when he was born the doctor called over a colleague as she was so amused/impressed at his 'crawl' during the check they do. He was trying to leg it out of the cot.

When I went for my scan and confirmed I'd like to know what he is, as if on cue DS opened his legs showing off his willy I guess I could boast that my little genius was listening to our conversation!

Mum brags are my absolutely favourite, “she even waved” had me in stitches 😂

The best one I’ve heard lately, during a discussion about kids cameras (for our toddlers) “oh yes, we really like the one we got Francine, she really has an eye for photography!”

The child is THREE. 🤦‍♀️😂🙈

I may have inadvertently been one of these mums a few days ago ...

I was in a softplay (not in the U.K.) and got talking to a lady who mentioned her 3 year old still liked to go in a carrier. I would love it if my 2yo would and said, 'mine always hated that, I wish she hadn't, she has to do everything herself, she's very independent.'

The lady's face and defensive response let me know what a twat I'd been! Although I wasn't boasting, I genuinely would love DD to be cuddly but was trying not to be too negative when I talked about her

Visiting my sister with my eldest who was about 10 months old. He'd just started crawling, which was a relief as he'd been rolling to get around which looked daft, made a lot of noise and resulted in a bumped head a lot.
A friend of my sister's was there who had a child the same age. She said: -
"No, mines not crawling yet but you should see how he plays with his toys, always knows exactly what to do. It's much more important to be inteligent."
I hadn't said anything at this point, but I gave the woman a wide berth. Anyway, ds1's first word was at 3 months and he said Ugarit. So not just talking, but a historical scholar too. So ner.
Ds2 was doing a high kick at the 20 week scan. He was a loon then and is a loon now at almost 7.

My mother is convinced my toddler is the most advanced child ever and indulges in a bit of tongue in cheek competitive grandparenting with her friends. However, we were both there when, aged five months, DD said ‘zebra’. I am sure it was a fluke babble and a coincidence that we were waving a zebra rattle at her, but it sounded exactly like it! She is now a hugely chatty two and a half, but only recently said zebra again...

My DD was compared to the entire nursery when she was 4. She was a few months away from starting school. One day at pick up time the manager of the nursery pulled me aside and told me that out of ALL the children at the nursery, DDs speech was the worst and EVEN worse than the ones who attended speech therapy, some of who had quite severe language problems.

She wanted to know why DD wasn't in speech therapy. No-one had ever said anything before at her developmental check-ups etc. so I was a bit upset and confused. I felt terribly guilty thinking I'd missed her speech problems. Nursery manager offered to write a letter for GP to fast track speech-therapy intervention. I agreed. DD was a late talker, didn't really start speaking in sentences before she was 3 but had a lot of words so I hadn't been worried.

Appointment came through about 7 weeks later. Speech therapist done an assessment with DD and told me that DD speech was absolutely on track, no problems whatsoever and that she actually had some advanced speech patterns. By the time the appt. came through DD had already left the nursery and so I never saw the woman again to update her. I'm still really confused by it.

The best one I’ve heard lately, during a discussion about kids cameras (for our toddlers) “oh yes, we really like the one we got Francine, she really has an eye for photography!”

The child is THREE

tbh, given the age categories and the talent on show in Wildlife Photographer of the Year, I'm waiting for the very young (iirc, 2 or 3 years ago there was an entry from a 5 year-old).

I was hospitalised at 10 weeks because of ovarian cyst and terrible pain so they did an internal scan and yes baby waved i couldn't believe it.I do think my children are extremely beautiful though and very clever and extremely well behaved and should I go on

@EmbarrassingAdmissions

The best one I’ve heard lately, during a discussion about kids cameras (for our toddlers) “oh yes, we really like the one we got Francine, she really has an eye for photography!”

The child is THREE

tbh, given the age categories and the talent on show in Wildlife Photographer of the Year, I'm waiting for the very young (iirc, 2 or 3 years ago there was an entry from a 5 year-old).

DC has taken some pretty awesome pictures but they’re 100% flukes 😂

I really hope i never made any cringeworthy claims when DD was little and I was very sleep deprived.

Our dubious claim to fame is that DD's childminder considered her the most headstrong child she'd looked after - she'd been doing childminding for 20 years at that point and wasn't prone to exaggeration.

I had a woman at a mother and baby group ask what other activities she could go to with her baby - she was struggling to find something new for her as she'd done everything... the baby was 8 months old 🤣🤣🤣

There is something quite lovely about all these proud grandparents.

@JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn

I had a woman at a mother and baby group ask what other activities she could go to with her baby - she was struggling to find something new for her as she'd done everything... the baby was 8 months old 🤣🤣🤣

Hahah! I love this. Restless baby. Wee bugger would have been happy with some pots and pans and a wooden spoon to bang!

I have a 'friend' on fbook who has a page titled '