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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Houseshare problems - tenant's new boyfriend refuses to leave

647 replies

FirstAvenue · 15/03/2021 16:05

Name changed, looking for advice here. I'll try not to go into too much detail.

I own a five bedroom house in a town a fair distance away and I let out four bedrooms under Assured Shorthold Tenancy Agreements. It's an all female house as I have found that way it is generally easier to manage from a distance.

I do everything as professionally as possible, I advertise empty rooms, take references from applicants, tell them the house rules and give the tenants a proper tenancy agreement which states that they have exclusive use of their bedroom and shared use of the communal areas.

One of the House rules states: "Your room is for single occupancy only and boyfriends / girlfriends etc. should only really stay every other weekend." Now it's not that I am a prude, it's just that I have learnt from previous bad experiences that the house becomes overcrowded and untidy and generally starts to smell if the house is over-occupied. It's very hard to let a room if the house smells.

One of the girls, let's call her Ann, got a new boyfriend about six months ago and recently he appears to have "moved in". She says he has not and that she is aware of the house rules, but he is "always there" despite him living nearby. Unfortunately it is not just a case of staying in her room, he seems to spend most of the time watching TV in the living room and has even set his laptop up in the kitchen.

One of the other girls, let's call her Betsy, has complained about his continued presence. Betsy says that she took the house on the basis that it was girls only, and that she feels uncomfortable with him being in the house all the time in his dressing gown.

I've asked Ann to stick to the house rules and to make sure he only stays ever other weekend, and she has at various times in the last two weeks a) denied that he stays there in the week, b) says he does stay over sometimes but the other girls don't mind, or c) says that he is her partner and she wants him to stay as much as possible. It is clear that she is not telling the truth.

Betsy however made a further formal complaint to me last Tuesday, and after a number of texts and phone calls to Ann during which time the boyfriend did not depart, last Friday I had to write an email to Ann asking her to make sure that house rules are obeyed and that her boyfriend only stays two nights a fortnight. I did not get a reply.

Betsy went away for the weekend but when she arrived back last night the boyfriend was there and he was still there this morning. She is now dreading going back home this evening, and it is my understanding that he has now stayed there for 11 consecutive nights. Betsy is now asking me what she should do if he is still there this evening.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to resolve this?

OP posts:
Lovetoplan · 16/03/2021 18:31

Yes, go round PDQ and lay it on the line to the 'couple'. Tell Ann in writing that he is no longer welcome in the house having already over stayed and upset other tenants. Let her know that the next time he appears she will receive a notice to leave and the police will be informed. Let her know that you are very disappointed in her behaviour over this.

boredbuttercup · 16/03/2021 18:35

Let her know that you are very disappointed in her behaviour over this.

Bloody hell the OP is her landlord not her mother. Hmm What purpose would this serve other than to create tension and piss off and condescend the tenant who in this situation is essentially the customer. The only relationship they have is a professional one. There shouldn't be any of this rubbish.

Confusedandshaken · 16/03/2021 18:36

This has been playing on my mind. I'm starting to feel sorry for Betsy. She's paying you to live in a female only house and isn't getting that. As a tenant she has no authority but as the landlord you do. Betsy also has to live in the house and her calling the police won't make a happy atmosphere.

I think you (or a local representative) should be doing unscheduled visits to see if the BF is there during the week and asking him to leave if he is. If he isn't then you or your representative should call the police. Don't pass your responsibility to the tenant.

Jeeperscreepers69 · 16/03/2021 18:37

Kick the silly bugger out. Give her her last warning today then notice to leave as soon as he reappears

Jeeperscreepers69 · 16/03/2021 18:39

Betsy isnt feeling better

robusttoday · 16/03/2021 18:43

Tell Betsy that you're doing all you can, within the rules / restrictions. ( are you sure the 6 month thing applies in a place like yours, with all the shared spaces?) Get rid of Ann . Do some digging with the other residents ( don't implicate Betsy though) and try to get all of them to voice their concerns to you. If they all would rather have him gone then you might be able to somehow use their joint voice to get her to change her ways .... ??

Owl55 · 16/03/2021 18:44

Start eviction proceedings now and state she broke the terms of tenancy . Take a couple of strong males around when you deliver it by hand !

TillyTopper · 16/03/2021 18:49

If it takes 6 months to get someone out then best start today! Ann and BF are taking the piss and need to be given notice. Betsy, and any others, need to raise this to the police and you if they feel threatened. Also tell Betsy that you've given Ann nontice - under CV19 there is nothing more you can do right now.

AWhisperWillDoIfThatsAllYouCan · 16/03/2021 18:50

@Owl55

Why? is that how you do business with women? You take big, burly men around to intimidate them with threats of implied violence? Really? That's your suggestion when dealing with a woman?

A woman whose only crime is having her boyfriend stay over? Yes, its anti-social and her flatmates arent happy... but you're dealing with that by implying violence will be used on her by these 2 big men if she doesnt get out? Nevermind the law around evictions and notice and all that; just turn turn up and threaten a woman with violence.

Cosmos123 · 16/03/2021 18:50

Move in OP if there is a spare room. Then you can monitor these 2 scoundrels more closely.

SpnBaby1967 · 16/03/2021 19:02

@Lorieandrews

You could evict her in two weeks for anti social behaviour. Under section 8.
If only that were the case!

Judges in my experience (social landlord) are a bit twitchy to issue orders kicking people out of home in the middle of a pandemic. No matter how much I try to fight that it's necessary.

HyacynthBucket · 16/03/2021 19:08

I am glad I did not have a landlady like you OP when I had similar problems in a flatshare. Mine came round and told the boyfriend to get lost, as he was not one of her tenants. After a few grumbles he and his girlfriend moved out, and peace was restored. It is hard to overstate how disturbing this kind of scenario can be - after all it is Betsey's and the other tenants' home, and their feelings of being able to relax and feel secure there have been violated, particularly for Betsey. You should take responsibility for dealing with this, and not leave it to anyone else. You seem reluctant to act.. It is part of a landlord's responsibility to do so in this situation. Disappointing.
Follow advice of LovetoPlan above, which is excellent, straightforward and to the point.

VivaLeBeaver · 16/03/2021 19:19

The clause above not having excessive nights of other people staying over is a common clause in every student accommodation I’ve ever lived in.

Dd is dating a boy at Oxford and is only allowed to stay overnight 2 consecutive nights. Strictly enforced by the porters.

kasho5 · 16/03/2021 19:21

The S21 is valid from the date on the form and the current notice period is 3 months (not 6). I had to serve one in August on a tenant from our HMO - he was out of his initial fixed term period and was on a rolling periodic tenancy.

Beline4u · 16/03/2021 19:39

Ann is the problem. Ann needs to leave. Betsy shouldn't be put in this situation. You should be backing Betsy. I would go to the house along with Betsy and ask Ann's boyfriend to leave.

JustAnotherPoster00 · 16/03/2021 20:01

Can you link to the guidance please kasho

PooBearnow · 16/03/2021 20:08

@FirstAvenue please tell me you have an HMO licence? If not you may have issues dealing with this problem.

She has breached the terms of the tenancy but how long has she been there? Is she still in the initial term of the ast?

You really need a professional advice.

Moving forward engage an HMO letting agent to navigate all this.

I’m an agent and we don’t do HMO as they are very specialist.

All is not lost but you need proper advice. X

SoulofanAggron · 16/03/2021 20:35

The S21 is valid from the date on the form and the current notice period is 3 months (not 6). I had to serve one in August on a tenant from our HMO - he was out of his initial fixed term period and was on a rolling periodic tenancy.

@kasho5 This changed to six months at the end of August unfortunately.

For notices issued between 26 March to 28 August 2020, the required notice period was 3 months. Notices issued during this period are unaffected by the changes outlined below. The provisions in the Coronavirus Act 2020 have been extended meaning that from 29 August 2020, landlords must provide 6 months’ notice to their tenants in most circumstances.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-and-renting-guidance-for-landlords-tenants-and-local-authorities/coronavirus-covid-19-guidance-for-landlords-and-tenants

Barmychick · 16/03/2021 20:38

call police, say your tenant is feeling increasingly uncomfortable/unsafe & you need backup to get him to leave as currently you are being ignored/defined. Then issue notice to the selfish " tenant . Good luck

Flatoutonsofa · 16/03/2021 20:43

He's in breach of Covid rules, so surely you can threaten him with the police and a fine? He isn't supposed to even be in the house, let alone staying the night. I've got to say, you seem to be being a bit soft with this girl Ann. Just because she says she's leaving doesn't mean she is. You're the landlady. Enforce your rules.

SheSaidHummingbird · 16/03/2021 20:49

FirstAvenue here is a link summarising section 21, although I am unsure how this pertains in the current circumstance :

Section 21

Start the clock, serve notice immediately. Even if she and the bf want to leave, it's not going to be as simple as that.

I personally don't agree that the tenants should be changing the rules, regardless of whether they all agree or not. You are the landlord, you make the rules. I would be very firm with any breach of rules and I wouldn't take any crap from Ann or the bf. Betsy would be my priority.

Lineofconcepcion · 16/03/2021 20:56

Some delusional people on here who clearly belong to the Daily Mail style of landlording and even worse advocating the landlord breach the tenants right to quiet enjoyment and suggesting illegal eviction.

The only option for this landlord is to serve a s21 notice on a form 6a giving 6 months notice, then applying to court at the expiry of the notice for a possession order, followed by a warrant of possession if she still has not vacated the property. 🙄

GiftedFish · 16/03/2021 21:09

I work for a number of landlords who own HMO'S. One of them had this very problem. He did end up evicting the tenant who kept breaching the rules.
I know you have to give 24 hours notice to go into their rooms but can't remember the notice period of communal areas. Is it an option to just start showing up at random times. Also are they due room inspections? Could give you an indication of just how often he's staying or that he is in fact living there if he's lots of stuff in tenants room.
I'd start thinking about evicting Ann.

JustAnotherPoster00 · 16/03/2021 21:10

@Flatoutonsofa

He's in breach of Covid rules, so surely you can threaten him with the police and a fine? He isn't supposed to even be in the house, let alone staying the night. I've got to say, you seem to be being a bit soft with this girl Ann. Just because she says she's leaving doesn't mean she is. You're the landlady. Enforce your rules.
She cant enforce further than the scope of the law allows
numberoneson · 16/03/2021 21:25

Definitely give Ann her notice to leave - you'll still be having problems with a tenant like her during the 6 months until she's out so the sooner the better. And call the police if the boyfriend gives you a single look that worries you when you go over, as you must, to tell him yourself that he has half an hour to get his things and get out or you're calling the police to evict him. Also, it may not have occurred to her yet, but I wouldn't mind a bet that Betsy will be within her rights to sue you, as the landlord, for allowing the rules of HER tenancy agreement to be breached ...