Houseshare problems - tenant's new boyfriend refuses to leave

[FirstAvenue]

Name changed, looking for advice here. I'll try not to go into too much detail.

I own a five bedroom house in a town a fair distance away and I let out four bedrooms under Assured Shorthold Tenancy Agreements. It's an all female house as I have found that way it is generally easier to manage from a distance.

I do everything as professionally as possible, I advertise empty rooms, take references from applicants, tell them the house rules and give the tenants a proper tenancy agreement which states that they have exclusive use of their bedroom and shared use of the communal areas.

One of the House rules states: "Your room is for single occupancy only and boyfriends / girlfriends etc. should only really stay every other weekend." Now it's not that I am a prude, it's just that I have learnt from previous bad experiences that the house becomes overcrowded and untidy and generally starts to smell if the house is over-occupied. It's very hard to let a room if the house smells.

One of the girls, let's call her Ann, got a new boyfriend about six months ago and recently he appears to have "moved in". She says he has not and that she is aware of the house rules, but he is "always there" despite him living nearby. Unfortunately it is not just a case of staying in her room, he seems to spend most of the time watching TV in the living room and has even set his laptop up in the kitchen.

One of the other girls, let's call her Betsy, has complained about his continued presence. Betsy says that she took the house on the basis that it was girls only, and that she feels uncomfortable with him being in the house all the time in his dressing gown.

I've asked Ann to stick to the house rules and to make sure he only stays ever other weekend, and she has at various times in the last two weeks a) denied that he stays there in the week, b) says he does stay over sometimes but the other girls don't mind, or c) says that he is her partner and she wants him to stay as much as possible. It is clear that she is not telling the truth.

Betsy however made a further formal complaint to me last Tuesday, and after a number of texts and phone calls to Ann during which time the boyfriend did not depart, last Friday I had to write an email to Ann asking her to make sure that house rules are obeyed and that her boyfriend only stays two nights a fortnight. I did not get a reply.

Betsy went away for the weekend but when she arrived back last night the boyfriend was there and he was still there this morning. She is now dreading going back home this evening, and it is my understanding that he has now stayed there for 11 consecutive nights. Betsy is now asking me what she should do if he is still there this evening.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to resolve this?

[ClarkeGriffin]

I don't get why Ann took this tenancy if she knew she would want her boyfriend in the future to stay round all the time. Is she stupid? Plus he lives nearby, why can't she stay at his if they must be together all the time? Seems more sensible considering her tenancy rules. I would be telling her to move out or go and live with him if she is so desperate to be by his side all the time.

[FirstAvenue]

Well Ann has found a new place and is wanting to move out. Only problem is that she needs help with the deposit. I know where this is going. Meanwhile I am trying to rewrite the house rules to include a "no naked men in the kitchen" rule.

[eatsleepread]

It does seem unfair that this has all been on Betsy so far. Ideally you'd have dealt with it yourself far sooner.
Hope the situation gets resolved soon.

[me4real]

Well Ann has found a new place and is wanting to move out. Only problem is that she needs help with the deposit.

@FirstAvenue Oh, man. How annoying for you. It's not your problem. I guess you could give her her deposit now too put towards her new deposit, to facilitate her buggering off? I know that'd be a bit of a risk though. Otherwise, she'll just have to look at another property where she can afford the deposit.

[DifficultBloodyWoman]

FirstAveneue, given all the drama, I would not be willing to give her deposit back early so I hope you haven’t offered to do that. I would direct her to a payday loan type place and promise to return the deposit the same day she moves out of all is on order (but not a minute before).

And, for the record, I have previously pawned my jewellery to manage the cash flow for a rental deposit. I would have preferred not to but I needed to and I unplanned my jewellery as soon as I got my deposit back.

[DPotter]

Ann needs to ask her BF for help as he's the one who got her in this position. It's certainly not up to you.

As for re-writing the house rules - well I'm not sure I'd want to see any nakedness in any communal part of the flat / house, let alone male. So something like

All residents will respect each other by only appearing fully clothed in communal areas. This applies to any over-night guests as well.

[LookItsMeAgain]

Agree with @DifficultBloodyWoman - that's how to deal with the 'deposit' bit for Anne (or she could ask her BF to contribute as it was having him over that got her in to this mess, surely she could see that).

Also agree with the wording that @DPotter suggested.

Fingers crossed this situation will be resolved for you soon @FirstAvenue

[JustAnotherPoster00]

@DifficultBloodyWoman

FirstAveneue, given all the drama, I would not be willing to give her deposit back early so I hope you haven’t offered to do that. I would direct her to a payday loan type place and promise to return the deposit the same day she moves out of all is on order (but not a minute before).

And, for the record, I have previously pawned my jewellery to manage the cash flow for a rental deposit. I would have preferred not to but I needed to and I unplanned my jewellery as soon as I got my deposit back.

Problem OP has though Anne is not in any breach of her tenancy, hasnt had an S21 so if she cant find the deposit she cant be compelled to leave, there is no legal mechanism to compel the bf to contribute either so its down to whether the OP gives her deposit back early or not

[RandomMess]

Well Ann's boyfriend can bloody help her out!!

[RandomMess]

I wonder if it him doing that counts as voyeurism - it isn't his home, he staying with 2 other unrelated females in the house.

Ann is so fucking completely out of order.

[MrsRockAndRoll]

The cheek!!!

[BoomBoomsCousin]

@JustAnotherPoster00

While that's true, there's no legal mechanism to insist Anne leaves if the OP gives her the deposit back early, is there? So it's probably the best path the OP has if she wants to protect herself?

[FirstAvenue]

Just an update, Ann is leaving this weekend. I've had to help her by refunding her deposit early, but in the end it is certainly best for the house that she leaves.

I've taken the opportunity to rewrite the house rules, introducing a dress code for the communal areas and a new rule that guests should not use the kitchen or be left alone in the house.

Thanks for all the help on the thread, all the advice given was very helpful. Now to advertise for a new tenant....

[MrsRockAndRoll]

Great update & good luck 🍀

[tribpot]

Great, hope things are in good shape when she does leave and she doesn't take advantage of your generosity in refunding the deposit early.

I think the new rules sound sensible - and hopefully peace will be restored.

[stablefeet]

"Problem OP has though Anne is not in any breach of her tenancy, hasnt had an S21 so if she cant find the deposit she cant be compelled to leave, there is no legal mechanism to compel the bf to contribute either so its down to whether the OP gives her deposit back early or not"

Excluded occupiers don't need a Section 21 notice.

[Shopliftersoftheworldunite]

Honestly @BadLad’s suggestion of sleeping with the boyfriend is about as sensible as the vast majority of the advice the OP has received here. Much of what PPs have suggested is down right illegal! This thread is absolutely peppered with people who don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about - they just see ‘women only space’ and gush over it,

OP, may I suggest that you get proper legal advice on your landlord responsibilities and perhaps being a landlord isn’t for you? You don’t seem to be very good at it, or know what on Earth you are meant to be doing.

Ps, the ‘you’re not an agony aunt’ advice was v g.

[mm40]

@FirstAvenue

Just an update, Ann is leaving this weekend. I've had to help her by refunding her deposit early, but in the end it is certainly best for the house that she leaves.

I've taken the opportunity to rewrite the house rules, introducing a dress code for the communal areas and a new rule that guests should not use the kitchen or be left alone in the house.

Thanks for all the help on the thread, all the advice given was very helpful. Now to advertise for a new tenant....

Brilliant news, she definitely needed to go. With regards to the ‘no naked men in the kitchen’ rule (and I know it was lighthearted!) means nothing unless you are able to follow it up and enforce the rules as “Anne” has blatantly ignored the ones you already set.

Good luck and I hope Betsy is happy!

[me4real]

Well done @FirstAvenue xxx

Excluded occupiers don't need a Section 21 notice.

@stablefeet They don't count as excluded occupiers as OP doesn't live in the property.

[Maggiesfarm]

@pepsicolagirl

Time to give Ann her marching orders I'm afraid

It certainly is. She has repeatedly broken the rules & it's grossly unfair on other tenants; they wouldn't complain if he only stayed occasionally and didn't take over the living room. What a cheek he has! About time she and boyfriend got their own place.

Give Ann notice.

[1frenchfoodie]

Glad it all ended well OP. I’m not so sure about all the new rules written specifically with annoying Ann and bothersome boyfriend in mind. The crazier the rule (a houseguest needs a chaperone to go in to the kitchen and make a cup of tea?) the less likely it is to be respected.

You seem really caring but I’m frankly a bit gobsmacked the other grown women in the household dindn’t sit down with Ann and make clear the boundaries and fact it wasnt going to work to have her boyfriend over so much - using a landlord 2h away as a bouncer/agony aunt is pretty strange.

[ArnoJambonsBike]

@Maggiesfarm

I couldn't agree more. OP should give notice to someone who she has already refunded the deposit to and is actually moving out of the property as I type.

Jesus H Corbett, I despair for the future of this country.