My sister has two kids aged 7 and 3. She has been an excellent mother and I'm really proud of her. She has been in an abusive relationship in the past and has been through a lot. There is obviously a lot that she needs support with and, as a family, we have tried, but she gets very defensive and obviously we are not professionals, so there is only so much we can do.
Recently, she has started seeing someone new. I knew him briefly years ago, so I know a bit about his family history and there is some pretty heavy stuff. I haven't seen my family throughout the pandemic, so I haven't witnessed anything myself, but other members of my family have and what they have told me has made me feel very, very uncomfortable.
Her new boyfriend has threatened to hurt the 7 year old and has actually smacked him (hard enough to leave his hand red) and laughed when he cried. The 7 year old has expressed to others in the family that he wants the boyfriend to leave, but when my sister asks him, he says the opposite to her and she doesn't believe that he has told others that he wants him to leave. My sister has had other boyfriends and the 7 year old hasn't had anything like that about any of them. He has also had a series of bruises appear on his arms.
This man spends almost every day and night at my sister's house, and it is almost impossible for other members of the family to talk to her without him around. My mum says he's incredibly manipulative, my other sister says he refers to sister #1 as a "filthy wh*re". There are so many other examples of why I think he is a danger to my sister and her children, but these are just the standout ones right now.
It is my gut instinct that he is very, very bad news. My family have already been through a lot due to my sister's previous abusive relationship. It was very traumatic for everyone involved and the 7 year old has particularly suffered a lot. My sister obviously needs a lot of help and I think I need to report her to social services. My family are very concerned about her children being removed and taken into foster care, but I think we've done all that we can as a family and the kids are my priority. The thought of not doing anything and then them being harmed is my absolute worst nightmare. Am I being unreasonable? I don't think I am. I don't think that we, as a family, are equipped to deal with this and I know if it were me in the children's place, I would want the adults in my life to do whatever they could to make me safe. I have told my mum and other sister that if I hear of one more incident or one more piece of information that makes me feel uneasy, I am making the call.
Any advice or guidance would be much, much appreciated.