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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is my partner overcharging my mum for work he has done?

568 replies

Lleeaahh1992 · 14/03/2021 19:33

My mums house was in a state of disrepair and needed plastering painting and lots of old furniture getting rid of her house hadnt had anything done to it for 25 years. My mum isnt in the best of health and is also a carer for my dad who is bed bound.

My partner offered to do the painting and get his dad to help him as his dad is a retired plasterer and painter. My partner isnt a painter but is pretty good at it, but he cant plaster thats why he was getting his dad to help. Anyway it turned out the housing association done the plastering so she only needed some things polyfilling and the house painting. He said he would get his dad anyway as it would be quicker that way.

It was agreed they would be paid £10 per hour each, he said they would probaly be working 10 hour days but if it varied they would only charge for the hours worked.

Anyway my mum waited two months for my partner to start as he kept putting it off but finally started last week and has just finished. The thing thats bothering me is most of the days he has worked, he has finished at a half hour or less so e.g 7.5 hours, 6.5 hours and so on and his dad only worked 3 days out of the 7. He has now said any day that he finished part way through the hour even by 10 minutes he is charging the full hour because thats how it works he says. So altogether he is charging for 6 lots of half hours that he didnt work, and 3 lots of half hours for his dad that his dad didn't work. And he is charging 39 pound for his dads travel for the 3 days he worked. So altogether it is £84 added onto the bill. Im not happy about this because he agreed with my mum he would only charge what they worked and said nothing about travel for his dad .

When iv broached it with him he has told me to keep out of it as he is the one sorting it out and he done some bits an bobs for free a few months ago like dismantling and removing furniture because my mum was struggling. Shall i stand my ground and say this is unfair and was not agreed to or just leave him to it?

OP posts:
donewithitalltodayandxmas · 15/03/2021 11:52

@Exhausted4ever its more than a bit if painting its over 80 hrs worth , but he seems to want to charge more than the hrs worked that is the issue
He agreed a price and he should stick to that , its why tradesmen rarely charge bu the hr, its better to give a whole job price then everyone knows where they stand

FuckyouCovid21 · 15/03/2021 11:54

[quote donewithitalltodayandxmas]@OhCaptain maybe because you called us greedy fuckers and yes the op knew he was charging as was discussed before and many on here said they would pay for a large job even to family as we have no idea if the op partner has taken time of work
Some on here seem to think that you should not ever charge a family member even for a large amount of work and as a tradesmen
Some though mostly not tradesmen say they would do it for free
Im sure most if us would do the odd bit here and there but a large job many wouldn't and as I am married to a tradesmen have multiple family members as tradesmen i know they can't afford to work for all family for free ,as they have bills to pay
Small little one off jobs yes , large jobs generally chargeable although at a more favourable rate [/quote]
Oh Lord, you're like a dog with a bone. Can you not just accept that some families don't charge other family members or friends for work that they do for them and vice versa.

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 15/03/2021 11:55

@FuckyouCovid21 yes but i don't need to be told we are greedy fuckers or shame on you

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 15/03/2021 11:56

@FuckyouCovid21 also the Op never asked about charging per se , she asked about overcharging which all of us agreed was wrong
She wasn't asking should he have done for free

notacooldad · 15/03/2021 11:57

Tradespeople shouldn't be working for free on big jobs like this for family. I don't agree with that at all. It's a big bit of work that requires payment. I don't expect to pay nothing if I ask a relative to rewire my house or do a full repaint of it

But what this guy is doing is a rip off completely. He gets paid his hours, materials and that's it. Not travel expenses and hours not worked

Its a cash in hand job for someone who is quite good at decorating!!

People bleating on that he should get paid a proper rate - he is not declaring it he isn't paying tax he hasn't got public liability insurance. He is adding hours in to the job.
He is a bloody scam artist and his dad is as well!

OhCaptain · 15/03/2021 11:57

[quote donewithitalltodayandxmas]@OhCaptain maybe because you called us greedy fuckers and yes the op knew he was charging as was discussed before and many on here said they would pay for a large job even to family as we have no idea if the op partner has taken time of work
Some on here seem to think that you should not ever charge a family member even for a large amount of work and as a tradesmen
Some though mostly not tradesmen say they would do it for free
Im sure most if us would do the odd bit here and there but a large job many wouldn't and as I am married to a tradesmen have multiple family members as tradesmen i know they can't afford to work for all family for free ,as they have bills to pay
Small little one off jobs yes , large jobs generally chargeable although at a more favourable rate [/quote]
I didn’t call you a greedy fucker. And even if I did, so what? Does a stranger’s opinion matter that much to you?

He’s not a tradesman. There’s no reason to think he’s sacrificing his trade to paint a few rooms.

Personally, I think the thread has made you a bit defensive about your partner charging your mum, mother-in-law and other family members to do work for them so you’re lashing out.

Otherwise there’s absolutely no need for you to be as bullish and over-sensitive about it.

And again, to point out - the greedy fucker thing was tongue-in-cheek which is why I went out of my way to use the emojis.

I do think it’s pure greed to charge family members for favours as it happens. If that doesn’t apply to you, why get so het up about it?

Reinventinganna · 15/03/2021 12:00

I would be going to check to see if it’s done to high standards. Take away money for any imperfections.
Take some away as he doesn’t have public liability insurance and for the tax that he won’t be paying.
Take some away for any food or drinks he had while on the job.

GabsAlot · 15/03/2021 12:01

hes rotten and a con man

its fair enough if you want money for materials but 1400 from your mum? my dh wouldnt have dreamt of doing that he helped a mate do some wiring and was reluctant to take a beer off him

will he startcharging you if you want stuff done

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 15/03/2021 12:03

@OhCaptain your last sentence says it all , i think its selfish to expect family members to work for nothing and loose paid work
You say its not at me then say its pure greed to charge family members
So by your standing my dh should earn nothing for weeks on end and we should live on what ?

Petitmum · 15/03/2021 12:05

What a shit he is!!!!

This would make me reconsider my relationship.

Is this cash in hand work on top of his regular job? Will he be declaring the income?

OhCaptain · 15/03/2021 12:07

[quote donewithitalltodayandxmas]@OhCaptain your last sentence says it all , i think its selfish to expect family members to work for nothing and loose paid work
You say its not at me then say its pure greed to charge family members
So by your standing my dh should earn nothing for weeks on end and we should live on what ? [/quote]
My posts haven’t once made mention of people losing paid work.

I’ve also said a couple of times that we always offer each other payment for work but that we in our turn, refuse to take money from family.

Have you confused me with someone else?

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 15/03/2021 12:10

@OhCaptain possibly
But to be fair over 80 hrs is a bit more than a favour
Maybe the OP mum was happy to pay the op partner as rather they had the money than some random
What isn't on though is him charging for a whole he when he has done 10 mins or putting up a curtain pole as an extra as that falls under favour
I would say 80 hrs is a lot of time though and the op was aware that he was charging and had been agreed
Shes pissed because he is overcharging and rightly so

OhCaptain · 15/03/2021 12:12

Possibly? Confused

Ok...

I don’t think there’s a time limit on favours. But as I’ve said (over and over) everyone is different.

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 15/03/2021 12:12

Rightly so she is pissed because he is overcharging that means not the other way

ChangedName4TheSakeOfIt · 15/03/2021 12:18

You cannot just decide to tack on extra costs like travel. I used to organise sub contractors for our business and if you quote you make sure it's including all possible charges! And as it is not set jobs that only take a certain amount time then they need to carry on working until their chargeable hour is up, not work for 10 minutes after the hour and bill for the rest.

Bluntness100 · 15/03/2021 12:21

I can understand if he really needs the money why he’d want some payment and that’s fair enough, but he’s trying to scam her and charge much more than what was agreed.

That’s as grim as it gets, he may as well just go in, grab her purse, and straight out rob her. It amounts to the same thing.

kittycorner · 15/03/2021 12:22

You have a partner charging your Mum and ripping her off?? The biggest question isn’t if he’s overcharging it is how could he charge and how can you stay with him? I’m truly shocked @Lleeaahh1992

kittycorner · 15/03/2021 12:25

Just read your update. He’s literally frauding your Mum charging her for more than he’s done by quite a lot. Id be making it very clear that with values like that he shouldn’t expect you to stay in his life. I couldn’t be with someone who would/could do that, our values would be too different.

sausagerollcake · 15/03/2021 12:26

£10 an hour for a decorator is mega cheap. She would have had to pay a lot more for it to be done professionally.

But he does also sound like a bell end.

So pay him, thank him and dump him.

MullinerSpec · 15/03/2021 12:27

Wow charging family for work especially your mother in law, that's the same as charging your own mother, and on top of the ripping her off is at another level. Shamful

MaryShelley1818 · 15/03/2021 12:36

Absolutely disgusting...my husband would do anything for my elderly parents and wouldn't dream of charging them money.

Lacucuracha · 15/03/2021 12:37

@MullinerSpec

Wow charging family for work especially your mother in law, that's the same as charging your own mother, and on top of the ripping her off is at another level. Shamful
She's not his mother in law!
Kitkat151 · 15/03/2021 12:45

[quote donewithitalltodayandxmas]@XiCi if I was doing my mums cleaning weekly she would pay me yes
As it is I pay my mum to do out cleaning rather than someone else
I know lots on the trade I don't know a single one that would do a large job for free for all friends and family and actually its something tradesmen hate , the expectation that a friend wants free work.
A little help here and there, but if someone wants there kitchen fitted and expects a mate or family member to do for free that is taking the piss
So the tradesmen does that and earns no money for himself for the week, how does he pay his bills
Lots of tradesmen actually won't even work for friends and family due to the expectation of mates rates
You wouldn't ask your solicitor friend to do a case for free , or your nurse friend to come and look after you when your ill [/quote]
Why is it taking the piss? Or maybe you just don’t help out each other in your family......my son in law has just fitted my kitchen over a weekend and 2 evenings....he wouldn’t take a penny.

MrsWhites · 15/03/2021 12:49

The question isn’t whether he should charge ‘family’ for work he’s done, it’s the fact that he’s ripping off your mum! Tell him to fuck off with his extra half hours, travel and rounding it up....it doesn’t matter what other people would charge, it’s not what he agreed!

I assume he’ll also be declaring the additional earnings too!

FuckyouCovid21 · 15/03/2021 12:49

@sausagerollcake

£10 an hour for a decorator is mega cheap. She would have had to pay a lot more for it to be done professionally.

But he does also sound like a bell end.

So pay him, thank him and dump him.

Yes but he's not a decorator, he's doing it as a favour, it's not his trade